• GRANDMA!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME??!!

    Grandmas don’t read HOW and they certainly do NOT read SWISS  MISS but they DO read Better Homes and Gardens. You know, BHG? See how I just dropped that abbrev? Grandma would thumb through the fashion and gossip mags at the checkout but like any good homemaker she would add the BHG to her cart. If she was feeling particular sassy, she’d throw in the DIY magazine (brought to you by the good people at BHG).

    Oh, DIY! You know Martha Stewart (PS: Martha, I DO want to see how you hay your fields) reads you under the covers with a flashlight – praying that Alexis doesn’t march into the room and flip on the soft-and-natural light. 

    DIY magazine is doing a story on handmade goods – a “Best in Show” collection of the various craft shows around the country. We’ll be featured in the “Printed and Pressed” spread. Mmmm, printed and pressed… that makes me want a panini. Here are some photos – we can’t decide, although I think #4 tells a good story. Sometimes I go into the shop at night and Jen is just standing there like that. Shudder.

    Jen and Fran must be happy.Jen and Fran seem so content.

    Fran with hand gun. Is Jen evil?scary-jen-and-fran-photosho

    ONE MORE! (I photoshopped a smile on Jen’s face):

    Jen is smiling.

    June 7, 2009
  • A Poster on Rosin Paper

    Recently, my roof was crawling with roofers and I watched while they threw hunks of 80-year-old shingles into my Lilac bushes. After screaming at them in the only Spanish I knew (¿De quién perro es ése??!! : Whose dog is that??!!) I grew very interested in a particular part of the process: a giant roll of red paper was used to cover my roof like gift-wrap – I thought it was strange and tried to mime some sort of conversation – my arms waving wildly, like I was landing a plane on an aircraft carrier. The foreman handed me a hundred-dollar-bill and told me I was special. I still don’t know what happened. 

    Madge is turning sixty AND ALSO celebrating her 35th wedding anniversary. I have the honor of creating a poster to commemorate this Holy Convergence. There is a roll of red rosin paper and a couple cans of ink in the shop that are dying to be a part of the project. Here’s a sneak peak:

    scan-35-60.color

    June 6, 2009
  • Are you my logo?

    Back in the day When Men Wore Hats, back when cuffs were linked, when the boardroom had a bar, when men were men and women were secretaries; way back then, The Logo was king. I wish I could have been there. Thank God for Mad Men.  Dear Lord, please protect Don Draper from small cell lung carcinoma. Amen.

    I love a good logo. I love it like I love my mother. I want it to challenge me at every turn.  I want it to lodge itself into my relational thinking. I want it to manipulate me. I DO.

    Observe:

    Vandalia-Street-Press-card.

    Selby Otis card

    May 27, 2009
  • Californy is the place you ought to be

    California would be the perfect place to be except for one teeny-tiny thing. No Zeichen Press. But soon all of its fine citizens will gobble up our goods like manna in the desert. LIKE MANNA. 

    Will Los Angeles (and its glorious surrounding areas) embrace the simple and slightly twisted humor from Minnesota? 

    Stay tuned.

    May 20, 2009
  • My Google Shrine is bogus

    What am I doing wrong? I devote myself to one search engine. ONE. There are so many more but my eye has never wandered. Sure, I played around a little bit with Yahoo – who didn’t? I just feel like this relationship is completely one-sided. I do. I give and give, search and search and when I FINALLY search for me, I get nothing but pages and pages of other letterpress studios. UM, that makes me ill. Listen, google: (If that is your real name) You either put me first or it’s over. That’s me; Zeichen Press. A design and letterpress studio in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Maker of fun and funny greeting cards and disc sleeves for one and all.

    May 13, 2009
  • First Base with Trader Joe’s

    The Trader Joe’s card chick sent a fat check with a little note that said, “Dearest Zeichen Press, let’s get it on.” 

    Isn’t that romantic?

    Sighhh, I love this stage of a relationship. Both a little awkward, both excited – sniffing each other’s bottoms. Other things go unnoticed –  cleaning, bills, cooking, dad’s life-support machine. 

    I used to raise my hand in class, working my face to communicate a message to my teacher. It was important to get into character – my character was The Girl That Needs To Use The Bathroom Super Bad. It was serious. Of course, I’d be excused and head to the library. The librarian was the tough but lovable hunchback, Sister Avila. She loved the Dewey Decimal System. Never a word from her mouth – just the stern pencil-tapping was enough to make me stuff a sock in it. Every day there was a crisp new StarTribune on the big table. I would feign interest in Global Matters but couldn’t wait to get the comics.

    If Trader Joe’s likes this next round of cards I owe it all to skipping class, Sister Avila, and the comics of the late-1980’s. I claimed to despise the Family Circus, but dammit – I read it every day. I also followed Mark Trail - the Cary Grant of the comics. BUT I saved The Far Side for the very end – Gary Larson was the Pope of the Funnies. If he ever comes out of his pen-and-ink cave, I will kiss his ring.

    Okay, here we go:

    HURRY! That birthday is just around the corner.That's MR. Happy BirthdayYou don't look a day over three.I'm clearing my calendar for your birthday.Yikes! My youth just scurried by.

    May 12, 2009
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  • I said, YOOHOO, ALEXIS STEWART!

    I can’t believe she doesn’t see me!…

    I’M IN THE HOT AIR BALLOON FLOATING OVER YOU AND MARTHA!!martha-and-alexis-stroller

    I knew it… She is walking to the mailbox to send a Zeichen Press card!

    She ordered a bunch from our online shop, but due to doctor/patient (I’m the doctor in this scenario) confidentiality, I cannot divulge which cards she chose.

    I CAN tell you that she is concerned about a funny-looking mole on her mom’s bottom.

    April 10, 2013
  • Captain’s Log, Stardate 4.1.2013

    Jen was part of a dangerous expedition

    jen-ski-trip-crop

    New product was added to the shop and I can’t help but wonder which cards will sell well… will they be sheep-related?:sheep-30-f8wanted-30-f8snowflake-brighterhigh-fiverecipe-30-f8Or not?

    April 1, 2013
  • Being Eaten By Monsters Is Not So Funny

    My older brothers had a bunk bed, my little brother had his own bed and my sister and I shared a queen-sized bed.

    We also shared countless hours of strange bedtime rituals: she would put on her school uniform (white blouse and brown plaid jumper) and pull her nightgown over it — that was for early morning efficiency… I would skip the uniform step and go right to the nightgown.

    I was so slow!

    She would coat her arms in Elmer’s Glue,

    elmers-glue

    I would dress and redress Raggedy Ann.

    I don’t know if she shared my fear of the monster under the bed.

    No, what am I saying? She did not. In fact, she created the fear!

    Siblings can be so cruel.monster-under-the-bed

    April 1, 2013
  • Local Woman Not Kidnapped By Craigslist Poster

    PHEW!

    My Faith in Humanity was fortified! I bought a tripod from a stranger on Craiglist and he made no mention of kidnappng, torturing, OR skinning me.

    Now I can stumble my way through taking photographs of the new cards!

    The Craigslist man assured me (three times) that the tripod was the “real deal” so that should help.

    March 23, 2013
  • The Widow’s Walk

    new-barn-widow-2She waited.

    Pacing the widow’s walk, praying for his ship to appear on the horizon, her view of the sea uninterrupted from her perch.

    But no!

    And who but those onboard could know the truth — was it a storm? Pirates? Mutiny?

    Or was it The Kraken?at least

    March 15, 2013
  • Left, Left, Lefty, Right-o Left, Right

    That’s the sound that March makes — that and a muffled sobbing. February triggers cabin fever but March in Minnesota is far more dangerous.

    Here’s a story about March: One Christmas, Santa put a baby albino rabbit under the tree — so delightful! 

    The little rabbit grew into a big rabbit and by the next Winter, our basement smelled like the bunny barn at the State Fair. With scraps of wood and a bale of hay, I built an outdoor rabbit hutch.

    In a pinch, it could serve as a coffin for an adult man.

    IN A PINCH.

    By March it was buried under several feet of snow and I’d order my eldest to go spend time with the rabbit in the snow coffin.

    The moral of the story is: Get a dog.

    And something about March creating crazy. Thank God I have an outlet for my March crazy:water-vodka-2

    March 8, 2013
  • Vocabulary Quiz And Card Celebrating Angry Parents

    My high school English teacher told the class that if we looked up the word ‘glib’ in the dictionary, there would be a picture of me.glib-fran-definition-2

    She was right!

    I think I felt insulted.

    I’m sure Jen’s high school English teacher said something similar about her.jen-reckless-definition-2

    And if not, she should have.

    What does this have to do with angry parents or a new card?

    Obviously, my glibness was not celebrated at home. In fact, it was frowned upon — can you believe it?! 

    And Jen’s reckless behavior?? You’ll have to ask her about that… I mean, pregnant at 19?! What was she THINKING?! (Wait, that was me?? We need to hire a fact checker.)sometimes-mommy-and-daddy-fight

    February 26, 2013
  • Oh, Great.

    Look who I found in front of Zeichen Press HQ!

    First the squirrels and then the bear AND NOW THIS?!yeti-in-front-of-the-shop

    February 21, 2013
  • World Domination Is Safe And Easy

    And it can be done from the comfort of your own home!

    If you’re like me (don’t worry, you’re not) you don’t like to “leave” your house or “go” anywhere.

    Don’t worry!

    World Domination will be yours as long as you have these three things:

    1) Wi-Fi

    2) Computer

    3) Forever Lazy Suit

    forever-lazy

    We just picked up a new rep for the Virginia and West Virginia territories (that’s right, TERRITORIES. Like a gang.)

    We are excited to welcome him aboard!

    And we hope we don’t scare him away with our love for Franimals and wine.recipe-called-for-one-glass-of-wine

    February 21, 2013
  • The Importance of Wine and Kittens on the Interweb

    There IS a universal language on the World Wide Web and understanding it only requires the appreciation of three things:

    1) Kittens

    2) Wine

    3) Talking dogs

    Also, videos where guys get kicked in the nuts — but those existed before YouTube.

    I follow the dog around the house with my iPhone and I plan on kicking a guy in the nuts this week.

    My life is all kittens and wine, so I was able to create the following: theyll-never-suspect-me

    Feel free to share that 1,000,000 times.

    And here’s a new card: It’s a true story.take-my-tea

    February 17, 2013
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