Zeichen Press – Page 32 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Bionic Fran Goes To the Post Office

The much-anticipated matchup between Bionic Fran and Wonder Woman is finally here!�Tickets are available by our back gate and the fight will be held in the driveway.

Come early and pick an unripened tomato to throw at the loser.

The event takes place as soon as Jen finds her way out of the mountains � I know her pockets were stuffed with breadcrumbs, so I’m sure she’ll be fine.

I’ve been pretty busy while she’s been gone… The intern and I talked a lot, I picked up two dead birds and one dead baby rabbit… I brought orders to the post office… I made this birthday card…

July 24, 2013
Ampersands And Counting Skills

Counting is not as easy as it looks.�The intern and I had to count cards (we love to gamble) for a big�Kate’s Paperie�order.

Holiday cards in June?My life is an endless sacrifice.

All of that counting tasted terrible, and so to cleanse her palette, the intern put a lot of ampersands together. That looked exactly like this:And because I need attention, I made this:See, it’s a profound cultural statement? DO YOU SEE?!

July 20, 2013
And Classic Pam Taketh Away

Jen held the garbage-pail lid and I swung the hammer, it is our shop gong and is ceremoniously banged when we receive an order over $1,000.

We bang it one thousand times and then Jen gets to printing.

Paper Source�ordered a new (for them) card:Oh, what do I do after the gong show?�I chase and scold the cat.

Classic Pam has single-pawedly wiped out an entire rabbit family.

Tsk, tsk!

This one survived…until it peed and died in my hands.

ALSO,�Urban Outfitters�(a real mom and pop joint) wants samples of some of our cards.Settle down. SETTLE DOWN. They’ve led us on before � I’m not going to fashion a wooden stool into a potty chair so that I can sit by the phone day and night.

I’m not. I’M NOT.

July 15, 2013
Vacation Drama

Jen has been toiling away at Zeichen Press Headquarters and I have been thinking about her toiling away at Zeichen Press Headquarters.

It’s hard for me to think about that when I am so busy staring at the ocean.

I also took the time to create this:

(I’m a giver.)

But I did make her a card.

(I hope she doesn’t really want me to help though.)So I think that makes us even.

July 11, 2013
Pilgrimage Part XXXI (Return to Brigadoon)

The pilgrimage to Cape Cod was like a lil’ slice of Purgatory and I wept with joy as we pulled into the driveway. I also wept when we discovered the house-mascot had been murdered in cold blood.Who would do such a thing?

Don’t worry, everything else was in order:

The boats are in the harbor.

The hydrangeas are blue enough.And the dead people are still dead.PHEW!

July 2, 2013
Monkeys On Pogo-Sticks

My application for Mensa included a $20 bill and a film.

I hope they accept me � I want that laminated membership card.

I also incuded a couple of my own cards:

June 12, 2013

Every Couple Wants Their Own Postmark

I won’t try to fight it – and why should I?

My youngest sister�

(why is she so angry all the time??) is getting married this weekend and I designed/Jen printed some invitations for the blessed event.

The event will be very celebrity-heavy. By “celebrity” I mean “family.” It will be full of family. You can crash the wedding if you want – but no pictures. Just kidding. Take pictures – I can’t stop you.

July 12, 2011
Kitchen Photo Shoot And a Guest Appearance

Pat Carney�stumbled into our dimension on Friday for the�Gute�photo shoot.

Edmund�made latte after latte while�Loretta�babbled in the background. We think she was talking about Pam the kitten/her prisoner. Anyway, I had to punch Pat in the face to get one latte away from him for a prop. He took it like a man. Except for the tears.

June 5, 2011
METRO home found us!

It was only a matter of time because we were standing outside their office.

METRO home�is a new�special�section in�METRO. The cover of this months issue is intriguing and frightening. It might be a photograph of a bedroom/torture chamber.�What’s behind those curtains?Yikes! This room comes with shackles and nightmares.

Urban Living Manifesto�sounds really serious. Do people really take themselves that seriously?? Two words for them:�settle. down.

Oh, but here’s something cheerful -�it’s about Zeichen Press:
Those Room & Board prints were sure worth all of the sweat I dripped on them last Summer!

May 4, 2011
Goodbye Craftstravaganza 2011

I was right in the middle of a dream where both of my eyeballs were, curiously, weeping blood. This was, of course, followed by an intense search for a public toilet and, AS USUAL, the only available toilet was in a high-traffic area of the Southdale Mall.

Thank God Jen called and woke me up. But not before I reluctantly�(why do I always do it??)�sat my bare bottom on the toilet.

If I’ve learned anything in my life it is how to be wrenched from a sound sleep and into a car in under 5 minutes.

It’s not pretty but neither is childbirth.

Jen and I stopped for our traditional latte at the�May Day Cafe�and then it was onward to the State Fairgrounds. The Fine Arts Building was our cold and unwelcoming host, its huge doors left open to remind us that April can be just as cold as November.

I’m sure the whole building was full of crafty-goodness but unless tables were set up on the way to the bathroom, I wasn’t going to see them. For eight hours, I did observe the folks running the�Burlesque of North America�table. They are screen printers – a craft that I have always had a crush on. Anyway, despite the sweetness of their prints, they were just as freezing as us.

Poor thing!

Our big experiment for this year’s fair involved a QR code

that led to our latest�Watch and Share�card.

It was successful. If you measure success in terms of wishes and smiles. Which I do.

May 1, 2011
WATCHandSHAREcards

Dynamite magazine�was full of hard-hitting news for kids growing up in the 1970’s.

But the best part of the magazine were the centerfolds. I wanted the�Hang in There!�poster so bad. It would have looked sweet on my closet door – right next to my Jackson 5 poster.

Struck by nostalgia and surrounded by (more) kittens, I took it upon myself to recreate the magic moment of the earnest kitten:When I was all done forcing the kittens to perform adorable stunts, it was time to make�videos of people reading Zeichen Press cards.

Let me explain:�Beneath various cards in our�online shop, there will be a link to a video of someone (it could be you!) reading the card aloud.�Why?�Because even�the lazy and the ne’er do wells have a right to Zeichen Press cards.

April 2, 2011
A Grateful Robot and a Ladies Night Out

My grandma kept a drawer-full of greeting cards in her buffet. An entire drawer, devoted to spontaneous correspondence!

What a woman.

She also�kept plastic on her sofa and carpet on her kitchen floor. She really wanted to protect her furniture and linoleum.

The Thank-You Note is a classic greeting card and should be the foundation of any collection. Receiving a thank-you note in the mail is a little bit like finding money in last Winter’s coat or a good hat in a snowbank.

Let’s write one together!

First,�choose a card:Now on to the writing… We’ll break it down into 5 easy steps:

1) Begin with a greeting:�Dear Aunt Shirley,

She loves to hear her name because cats can’t talk.

2) This is the meat of the note and notice there is no appetizer. This is a “note” not a letter. Cut right to it:�Thank you so much for the medical marijuana!�If the gift from Aunt Shirley was cash,�do not mention it.�Speak instead of her “generosity.”�Thank you for your generosity!

3) Say a little bit about how you use or will use the gift:�I smoke it everyday!

4) Mention the last time you saw Aunt Shirley and hint at a future meeting:�It was lovely to see you at Uncle Bob’s funeral, I hope to see you again before your funeral!

5) And scene:�Love, Fran

Oh, and here’s another card that will be added to the line:

February 22, 2011
Franstravaganza Part II

“It is finished.” She gasped as she crumpled to the cold, concrete. It was, by all accounts, glorious. The work would outlast the artist and elevate the art form to new and dizzying heights.�

But she, exhausted and covered in ink, was oblivious. To her, this was nothing more than an exercise. A functional and fleeting piece, it would be handled roughly and discarded by Springtime.

Um, so, that poster for�Craftsravaganza�is, like, done:

February 14, 2011
Franstravaganza!

There are a couple of things going on around here:

1) Our fax machine is spitting out orders faster than we (jen) can fill them.

2) We (I) are (am) making the poster for this year’s�Craftstravanganza.

Just to make my load fair, I listen to a recording of screaming children while I work.

I think it really shows:

Today, I will put ink on that – it will be so spectacular there won’t be a dry eye in the room. (I’ll be the only one in the room.)

February 13, 2011
Hello, my name is

Remember when�I talked about my naming skills?�No?�That’s okay, I barely remember it myself.�Anyway,�I did a project with�The Carney Group�- I named a product that debuted at the�2011 MacWorld Expo�to much adulation. Wait, that’s a pretty strong word. To much�curiosity.�They made the Top 3 Happening Booths but I think that had more to do with the bearded�CodeWeavers�COO dressing as Cher (I think that’s Cher?? Yucky!)

than the name I chose for the product – which was, by the way:�Impersonator. See, it’s software that let’s your Mac run Windows apps without running Windows.

So brilliant.

David Pogue of the�New York Times�called it “hilarious” and one of the most creative pitches he’d seen all year.

I wonder if he meant�last year�because otherwise it would just be one of the most creative pitches he’d seen in January. I also wonder if he meant it was one of the most�disturbing�pitches he’d seen.

I wrote a lot of funny lines and made some cool logos

BUT all of my creative was for naught.

For naught.

They wrote their own lines and made their own logo. That’s cool. I don’t even care. I don’t. I totally let it go. Totally. I’m fine. Oh, here’s a little video�I made (rejected by them – which I’m totally fine with. I am. I’m fine. It’s cool. Whatever. It doesn’t even bother me.) to go with the name.�Close the blinds and turn on the projector, here’s IMPERSONATOR:

January 31, 2011
Working in the Bathtub

I love the ladies of the�Jelly Shot Test Kitchen. And when I say I�love�them it means I�love�that they trust us. Trust us to create business cards�of the future.�We’re not sure how lasers work but we all saw Superman II.

These days, lasers are used for more than just pulverizing concrete. And I can prove it:

The latest project for JSTK has nothing to do with lasers. Or letterpress -�don’t they know we do LETTERPRESS??��They asked us to create some instructional films.

Naturally, I cleaned my bathtub and got to work:

Here’s what I made:

January 9, 2011