Zeichen Press – Page 34 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

MakeReady-Or-Not

How To Play:

Witch

��Using a neighborhood approved selection method (engine, engine #9 � bubblegum, bubblegum in a dish, etc.) select�The Witch.

��Use the same method to select a�Guinea Pig.

��The remaining players are�Runners.

� The Witch�leads The Guinea Pig�away. (This should be terrifying.) The Witch hides�The Guinea Pig��not on the garage roof. (This might be tempting. Don’t do it.)

� The Witch�gives (verbally) a list of tasks to�The Guinea Pig ��things like:�A)�Run around the house three times singing�The Happy Birthday Song.�B)�Dig a hole, bury one June Bug in it.�C)�Fill a hat with decorative rocks from the neighbor’s garden, etc.

��At this point,�The Witch�must call out “ready-or-not!” from wherever he/she is waiting/hiding.

��The “tasks” given to the�The Guinea Pig�are meant to lure the�Runners�off their safe-base and into the waiting/hiding clutches of�The Witch�while searching for the hidden�Guinea Pig.

��When/if any�Runners�are caught by�The Witch,�he or she�turns them into�Another Guinea Pig.�Meaning: They are hidden and given a�new�list of tasks for�The Runners�to complete.

��When tasks are completed for a particular�Pig,�a�Runner�must free them by tagging.�The Guinea Pig�must run to the safe-base without being caught by�The Witch.

��If�The Runners�successfully�free�The Guinea Pig(s),�they win the game.

� If�The Witch�catches all of�The Runners, she/he wins the game.

* If someone wets their pants during course of play, a “time-out” should be called and fresh pants should replace wet pants.

————-

In a bold (not really) and unprecedented (true) move, Zeichen Press will be offereing box sets of greeting cards that are�not�letterpress printed.

Hold your applause until the end.

We call this our�Makeready Collection.

Why?

Letterpress printers (like us) need to test placement, packing, and color when printing something new. The same old piece of paper is printed on over and over again, resulting in an odd (and might I add, paranormal?) mishmash of goodness.

Our�Makeready Collection�imitates this letterpress printing practice using a computer and�some other kind of printing. (Offset)

Here are the three designs: (Available for The New Year)

October 13, 2012
Your Marriage vs. The Zombie Apocalypse

I’m not a lawyer or a scientist but I understand the importance of writing marital vows that contain language relating to soulless corpses.

I know it’s not�Zombie Season�because the weather is cooler and I know the weather is cooler because the maggots in the garbage bin magically disappeared. The rash of zombie activity this Summer has inspired me to rewrite my vows � I simply cannot have my husband strip naked and eat my face on the turnpike.

Give this card to newlyweds or oldyweds:

October 7, 2012
Mating Tips

The only way to find out if you’re truly compatible with another is to spend a year together aboard a Portuguese fishing vessel.

Unfortunately, that’s not always an option. Don’t spend another minute agonizing!

Forget the touchy-feely�Relationships�aisle at Barnes & Noble or (gasp) your local library! Forget the $120/hour couples counselor! Forget mind-reading, unmet expectations, behavior prediction!

Zeichen Press has created a $4.00 cheat sheet!�Collect them all (there’s only one) and store them safely in a polished mahogany box. Tabulated by topics, like: Division-of-Labor, Apology,�and so much more!

*A�Mating Tip Card�and a BB gun make the perfect wedding gift.

October 3, 2012
Neglected Category

My retirement plans are needy and demand an Airstream Trailer

and a plot of land in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee � as close as possible to Dollywood.

That would be fine as cream gravy.

Yes, retirement � everyone does it differently. Some like to join communities in Arizona and some like to hoard cats. Hoard cats until one day they have a stroke, can’t get to the phone, die of starvation, and their beloved pets eat their face.

But everyone is so different!�And as my Grandma Shea used to say, “It takes all kinds.”

So wise.

September 26, 2012
A Loon Call For Garrison Keillor And Hat Made of Money

When I heard Jen was participating in the Loon Call Contest at the�Prairie Home Companion Street Party, I said a quick prayer to Saint Genesius.

I can’t believe she didn’t win.�

Earlier that day,�this�angel�dressed in plain clothes�was spotted:

If I wore a hat made of money, I’d have a faraway look in my eye, too.

September 22, 2012
Eating My Weight In Vegetables

Did you know that the�Arboretum�has a�pick-your-own�vegetable garden? The signs were more intuitive than posted.

My latest health craze (the last one turned out not to be a “health” craze) promises an upward trajectory of boundless energy and crisply firing synapses. Kale, spinach, green chard, cucumber, celery, lemon, parsley, and apple in one glass.

In one glass.

I’ve learned that a bagful of smuggled kale equals one thimbleful of juice.

One thimbleful.

I wonder how many ounces I would be if I were juiced.�Note to self: Juicing bodies would make them easier to flush down toilet.

Look at these beautiful Dahlias and forget everything I just said:Weren’t those lovely?

All of the flowers and vegetables inspired a Father’s Day card:

September 14, 2012

*A Woman of Letters/Serious Letterpress/Room and Board/Minnesota Monthly*

Speaking of letters!�The new prints arrived at all of the Room and Board stores across this great land.�The photographs on their website are gorgeous and make me feel like I live in a crack house.

I have nothing against crack houses, I’m sure the people that live in them are perfectly lovely and are just misunderstood.

The legendary, Katie Dohman (Minnesota Monthly) already wrote�a little something�about them. I’m feeling pretty fancy.

October 5, 2010
Some New Cards and Some Other Things

Katie Dohman, style editor for�Minnesota Monthly,�made a special guest appearance in the shop.�She was just delightful and for that she got one of these:

The moral of the story on that broadside would be the theme of the weekend. Don’t ask questions – just accept my cryptic storytelling. JUST ACCEPT.

On to other matters of no importance to anyone. The following photographs were taken in three different�Ladies Rooms�(for LADIES) in Minneapolis – Can you guess the venue? If you can, I (or someone that works for that empire called Zeichen Press) will send you a fancy letterpress card. Fun!�*You are instantly disqualified if you are in the photograph. Sorry. But don’t act like I don’t give you free cards anyway.

I just need, like, 500 more photographs for a lovely coffee table book.

Enough small talk! On to the new cards:

�

PS: I know the card above looks like a black blob�but�it’s a man carrying a baby elephant. Don’t worry, the real card will be perfect.

September 26, 2010
We care so you don’t have to.

Isn’t that nice?

OH,�also: It only seems appropriate that on the eve of the launching of the new site, the dog was caught nursing the kittens.

Enjoy.

August 28, 2010
A mixer and more!

I’ve never met a middle-aged man at a BP in Grantsburg and given him money for a Kitchen-Aid mixer — until now! The ZP intern was the recipient of the gift. She cried and looked like she was just crowned Princess Kay of the Milky Way.

It was beautiful.

I spent the last 56 hours holed up in my room (cell) uploading content for the new Zeichen Press website. And just to make it interesting, I didn’t shower or change my clothes. I DID leave once to get a new iPhone because my old one decided it would rather be a hot plate than a phone.

So be it/good riddance.

August 26, 2010
Alright, back to work

Fran Shea�s r�sum�

��

1988-1988 (Nov. 1-Dec 23) Lyndale Garden Center

My first job. Silly me, I heard �making Christmas wreaths� and thought I�d be �making Christmas wreaths.� Pre-made wreaths were heaped onto a lunch table � my job was to choose the sprigs for the wreaths. “Sprigs” was an industry term for cheap Christmassy crap.

1989-1989 (Sept. 1-Sept 15) Pearson�s Family Restaurant

I bussed tables and was told to clear as much of the table as would fit in the gray bin. It would have been very satisfying if I were training to be a power-lifter. Two weeks was too long.

1989-1990 (Oct. 1-March 1) Leeann Chin, Richfield

As a server, I wore a little white hat and jacket. Like a chef. A disgruntled, panicked, 17-year-old chef.

1990-1990 (June 1-Aug. 15) GJ�s SuperValu

A block walk from my apartment above Ribizza – this job required speed and superhuman strength. Bagging groceries during a �rush� filled me with doubt and indecision � eggs before bread or bread before eggs?? Should I take my smoke break now??

1990-1990 (Sept. 1-Nov. 1) Telemarketing for the Special Olympics

I don�t even know how I found this job � it was in a bland office in a bland office building on University Avenue.� The script we were handed was written in the 1950?s and we were supposed to offer lots of garbage bags in exchange for donating to the Special Olympics. Our boss was, I think, Bob Saget.
1990-1991 (Nov. 15-Jan 15) Meyer�s Bakery

A job that required cash register skills. I�d rather wash old peoples bottoms than use a cash register � I�d try to push customers into buying things that would result in even dollar amounts so I wouldn�t have to make difficult change. Three cookies? Why not four?� Two loaves of bread? Why not two loaves of bread AND a cookie??

Fast Forward�>

1993-1996 : Carney Studio

The interview went something like this:

�So, you want to be a graphic designer?�

�A what?�

�You�re hired.�

1996-1997 : Odney Advertising

This is where I learned about advertising. And stealing office supplies.

1997-present : Stay At Home Mom

This is where I learned about cleaning up poop.

2006-present : Owner of Zeichen Press

The culmination of a life-long set of painfully acquired skills.

August 20, 2010
A Special Weekend

Jen and I share many things: Type wash, paper towels, dirty looks� But nothing� nothing even comes close to this weekend�

Whew! That was a tear-jerker! Um� there is no easy way to segue from a cat eating a placenta�

Well, other things happened this weekend, too� I biked 8 million miles to Hopkins to take some pictures of the new Pizza Luc酠 I wrote about that on the�Tanek blog� And, well I guess nothing can really compare to the moment when Jen and Susie the Cat locked eyes and Jen stated firmly (but tenderly) �I love you.�

Sigh.

August 17, 2010
Overdue Cat, a new letterpress greeting card and a little bit about the weather

Well, Susie hasn�t had her kittens yet � and like every other overdue/expecting mother � she is watching Oprah and eating tubs of Ben & Jerry�s.

Meanwhile, I biked through the Heat�

to bring Fred a card so he could photograph it. It isn�t any ordinary card � it is the card to introduce our new website.

Aren�t you intrigued?? It must say something sweet � just look at that cute little bellhop! I�ve been waiting to use him for a long time � thanks, cute little bellhop!

August 12, 2010
SHARK!!!

The morning coffee brought big news:

Swimmers spotted four Great White Sharks on the beach in Chatham. Wait, let me be clear: Not ON the beach – in the water. Swimming around …�and around … and around.Some would call that circling – orbiting their prey, slowly moving in for the flesh-ripping, limb-tearing, feeding-frenzy. But I’m not here to give sharks bad press – that’s already been done – I’m just trying to help you,�the reader, understand the everyday danger that is my life. I risk it all to bring you,�the reader, a good story.

So, off we went up the coast. Past Chatham, to Wellfleet. Wellfleet, where there is no swimming ban. God forbid we miss a beach day because the “Coast Guard” spotted some 12′ sharks. The Atlantic called us and it would be rude to ignore the call – we had to dive right into the water like good-natured guests.

A seal joined us – not more than 15 feet from shore. If he were walking on land he’d be limping… I don’t know what that’s called in the water. Drowning?

�

Oh, Seal! Do you remember�our meeting last year? I do. It was magical. Last year, I had to swim ever so far – my legs dangled 100 feet above the ocean floor – they were like little noodles hanging off the end of a fork, ready to be swallowed up by the sharks. This year, you bob seductively near shore… it would be effortless to get to you. But I won’t do it because I am sensible and also I saw this

hovering overhead. A sure sign that somebody is looking for sharks. I said, LOOKING FOR SHARKS. We decided that building sand castles is pretty fun.

August 2, 2010
Yesterday and Today

Our transition from the Cape included a stay in Boston.

Boston is best experienced on-foot and with a tour guide dressed as Dorothy Quincy Hancock.

The next picture is for Andrea. (Edmund loved the Westin).

Okay, fun’s over. Back to the muggy wall of heat – we walked out of the Minneapolis airport and I felt like someone wrapped me in 100 electric blankets.

… remember when I told you about�this?? I don’t know �a lot but I do know that this belly is full of kittens. They are due in a few days – and I swear to God, if any of you take one home – I will repay you in strange and creative ways.

One more thing: The pile of mail, collected by Jen, contained this:

August 2, 2010
Airplane Safety Card (continued)

After a harrowing day at the beach, I had to stop into the�Brewster General Store

to check out their card selection – one thing is clear: they might have enough rubber lobsters but they�do�need some letterpress from Minnesota. I will see what I can do about that.

A day at the beach always includes:

That poor thing has been around for such a long time.

July 29, 2010