Zeichen Press – Page 37 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Swine Flu and the Fish Pond

We had a special guest for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! : The Swine Flu�aka:H1N1�That’s just what we needed to shake things up�around here! Oh, and nothing brings a family together like contagious disease. I mean it. I barely notice my kids unless their eyes get glassy and they vomit on my bedroom floor. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, a nosebleed will get my attention -and so will a 2 am phone call from the Edina Police. Oh, kids!

I heard that “scientists” are working on some sort of “immunization” for this particular version of the flu. They can just inject themselves with their magic potion. I’m not standing in line at the Walgreens with a bunch of clammy people. Anyway, I discovered the cure: 100 episodes of Malcom in the Middle�and lots of popsicles. When The Plague finally, and politely, exited our home – I felt that I needed another challenge:

The�Fish Pond at St. Helena’s:

Of course!�Everyone knows what a daredevil I am – I just couldn’t say no to Jen’s (repeated) requests to “volunteer.”� I don’t regret a moment. In fact, I’m pretty sure that my time in Purgatory is reduced by exactly the same amount of hours that I spent in that claustrophobic booth. That’s five hours, God. Should I go on and on about the ROOM & BOARD project I’m working on?�21 down, only 279 to go!�I love you, grayish-brownish-not-quite-taupe-ish-sort-of-smog-ish ink.

September 23, 2009
Would You Rather…?

Vomit blood for a week or have a nail gun misfire so that the nail pierces your eyeball?*

WHICH ONE DO YOU CHOOSE?!

Maybe I’d choose the vomiting… I hear the ICU is like staying in a fancy hotel.�You see? Life is about choices. Or wait… is it about rolling with the punches?�Having your eye sewn shut is worse than getting punched – Maybe life is about getting your nail-pierced-eyeball sewn shut.

Yes. That sounds about right.

��

* These events are true and happened to two men that I know. Both named Ben.

September 7, 2009
Psycho Suzie’s and the Fu Manchu

I can’t wait to turn 40.

Jen did it and she got a Fu Manchu AND pickles. It was a very special evening – one she will never remember.

See how the Fu Manchu put her under his spell? Isn’t he cunning? Poor Jen, she never had a chance.

September 3, 2009
Best In Show

I was always jealous of those farm kids at the State Fair. Barefoot and confident, covered in dust � their coveralls did indeed coverall, catching every drip of ice cream, every drop of grease. I imagined that they slept right on the hay bales that penned off their milking goats – what a life!

Their blue-ribbon proudly pinned for all the Fair-Goers to see.�And�The City Kids lined up to milk�their�goats!�Why can’t I have a goat? Why can’t I run around the fair barefoot � ringworm be damned!�

I guess�that DIY story�is coming together � one of the writers called me on my telephone… I kept telling her everything was “off the record” – she seemed confused. I can’t just open myself up to the public.� They did ask me to create Headlines for the other “Best In Show” categories. I wanted to do them in macaroni but they reminded me that I own a design and�letterpress�studio – not a design and macaroni�studio. Now I feel like a missed the boat on that concept.

Here are some of the headlines they asked for:

Oh, they also wanted some blue ribbons:

August 15, 2009
Sankyou Panko Japanese Style Breading (box)

“How can we be expected to teach children to read when they can’t even fit inside the building?”-Derek Zoolander

It turns out that Panko Japanese Style�Breading boxes are the perfect size for my Press (kit) Boxes! It’s true. Now my family will enjoy breaded EVERYTHING for the next two weeks.

Breaded meat, breaded not-meat, breaded bread… YUMMY. � �

The boxes have been turned inside-out, printed on, and stuffed with a variety of cards. I might sprinkle extra breading in for packing… We’ll see. I’d say that I’m sending them to my favorite magazines but that’s not entirely true.

Bass Master, Muslim Girl, and Quick Quilts didn’t make the cut.

Who did?

Oprah and Martha. And others. I think Oprah and Martha should combine forces, the masses would kneel before them.

August 12, 2009
Chanukah and the Beach

Back on the Cape (Cod) again. I spent a restless night out in the barn. Maybe it was the vinyl covered futon OR my teenager’s shenanigans OR the twin mosquitos that took turns attacking me. I just don’t know – I just don’t know why my uncomfortable evening produced this:

(Inside: God bless you.)

August 6, 2009

Nudity

It’s finally Spring! Time to peel off my�SmartWool�socks and bury them in the backyard following a short – but tasteful – ceremony. They will be missed. Everyone at Zeichen Press went and got a mani/pedi.

Except Jen.

Here is a�before�and�after:

April 24, 2010
Jen’s Unborn Twin

Thanks Roto-Rooter!

April 23, 2010
Is letterpress too classy for you?

It might be. I’m going to have to credit Martha Stewart with sparking the mainstream revival of the craft.�Everyone settle down.�If Martha and I ever met (someday on NBC 11:00AM CST) I would burst into tears. She’d slap me across the face and tell me to get ahold of myself.�Oh, Martha! You always know just what to do!�Zeichen Press has designed and printed its share of wedding related invitations – and we’re pretty certain that gives us some sort of carbon-neutral status.�How?�It’s pretty complicated – something to do with joy and decency neutralizing our usual gaucheness.

April 14, 2010
Hi, zeichenpress. Martha Stewart is following your tweets on Twitter.

Oh, Martha Stewart!

I wish I could believe that you were following Zeichen Press on Twitter because of�the recycled�Panko Japanese Style Breading box/press kit�I sent you last August…

Or because of the letterpress art print I sent you last October…

Or the baby I sent you last November…

April 2, 2010
More on the new Zeichen Press website

We’ll be shooting our opening�film�using (surprise!) something that pre-dates my birth.

Didn’t I learn my lesson with�that stupid typewriter?

March 29, 2010
The true story behind the Zeichen Press logo:

Okay, let’s call her “Sheila” and let’s call him “Franz Ferdinand.”

She resented every one of his hair-plugs. Row after row of weak little sprouts – such an offensive landscape. Each bloody little ring contained 4-5 “transplant hairs,” the math was easy enough – she figured that each stubby hair cost $7.40. Her pre-taxed, hourly wage at the Seed-N-Feed was $7.45 – barely enough to cover the cost of a single hair.

He had convinced her that the new hair would make him a better dancer. She knew now that it did not – his “moves” reminded her of the farmhands baling hay. Each jerky swinging of his arms nearly punching her in the stomach.

His unemployment was running out and now, thanks to this unwise investment, they would have to move into his mother’s trailer. Her whole life she wanted to be a professional dancer and had been searching for the perfect partner – why hadn’t she listened to her gut or that certified psychic that really seemed to understand her? Still, she danced with him – her graceful movements, her twirling skirt – he would have been captivated by her beauty if he wasn’t so fixated on the pounding in his chest.�

��

Wow! We all know what happens next. Thank the Lord she knows CPR�and�that despite the bitterness the hair-plugs caused, she still wanted to keep him alive. Sheila and Franz Ferdinand might just make it.

March 29, 2010
Here’s the part about salvaging letterpress equipment:

People (my mom) always (whenever she feigns interest) ask me,�“where do you get this stuff?”�Type, cabinets, printer’s cuts, ink, chases, quoins, sticks, cutters, furniture, leads, slugs, tympan, rollers… letterpress takes up a lot more space than this tidy little laptop. I wonder if that’s one of the reasons people stopped using it?�I doubt it.

Jen and I both agreed that our favorite salvaging-situation involved a compulsive hoarder with a murder/torture-pit (alleged) in his basement. This house had it all; two commercial espresso machines:

two Kluge Printing Presses:

(just in case you’re wondering: TWO Kluge Printing presses are massive and�would�look like�this�if not covered in books, dvd’s, televisions, kleenex boxes, grocery bags, magazines and mail):

a family-style restaurant booth: (this suspiciously barricaded the basement door)

dozens of old computers: (so sentimental)

“stackable” type cabinets: (we took these)

and this:

and this:

Oh, here’s a fun game:

Can you find the treasure in this photographic vignette?:

How about here?:

��

Oh, well. Enough of the sweet, sweet memories. Here’s part of our latest salvage:

March 21, 2010
A long, long time ago there was no Tanek. Only empty space.

I loved when Mom would get out the Scotch-tape and add my latest work to the dining room wall.

I’m not sure if one day she ran out of paper or tape – but she also let me paint right on the windows and the refrigerator.

I spent the last 10 weeks art directing Tanek’s new website. It was very similar to painting on the refrigerator except without paints or a refrigerator. I worked on the project with�my old boss. Don’t confuse this old boss with another old boss I had at the Leeann Chin in Richfield, circa 1989.

You can go look at the new Tanek site. It’s not painted on the fridge or hanging on the dining room wall but it’s still super awesome.�You can really build with the masthead blocks! …�Actually,�that gives me an idea… build something cool, take a screen grab and�e-mail it to Zeichen Press�- WHY? I’ll pick the best one, send out some fancy letterpress cards to the winner and�publish�it on the blog.

HEY! This is fun!

March 9, 2010
Potato-Guns and Make Magazine

The other day, I needed to learn how to make a potato gun.�It doesn’t matter why.�Anyway, I made my way to the�MAKE Magazine blog�- If you haven’t been – I don’t know what to say. It’s not like we can’t be friends. It will just never be more than that.

So, they are doing this�Maker Business Series�and I thought, “hey, I make things… I own a business…” The potato gun would just have to wait.�Sorry Edmund.�…I sent an e-mail to someone named Gareth (Jen keeps referring to Gareth as “her” – I don’t have the heart to correct her) and told him about Zeichen Press – he responded and then it turned into an interview and…�Go read it!!

March 5, 2010
Wake up call

I try�so�hard. Really, I do. I try to follow the rules.

I’m jealous of those people (is it everyone?) that climb out of bed at a respectable hour, get dressed, fuss with their hair, apply make-up, brush their teeth, read the paper, make and drink a cup of coffee…

In high school, my morning carpool (I say “carpool” but really it was just my friends carting me around like some sort of package. A smoking, swearing package) would lay on her horn outside my house while I lay in my bed – dreaming that I was missing tests because I was laying in bed dreaming that I was missing tests.

February 24, 2010