Zeichen Press – Page 39 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Swine Flu and the Fish Pond

We had a special guest for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! : The Swine Flu�aka:H1N1�That’s just what we needed to shake things up�around here! Oh, and nothing brings a family together like contagious disease. I mean it. I barely notice my kids unless their eyes get glassy and they vomit on my bedroom floor. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, a nosebleed will get my attention -and so will a 2 am phone call from the Edina Police. Oh, kids!

I heard that “scientists” are working on some sort of “immunization” for this particular version of the flu. They can just inject themselves with their magic potion. I’m not standing in line at the Walgreens with a bunch of clammy people. Anyway, I discovered the cure: 100 episodes of Malcom in the Middle�and lots of popsicles. When The Plague finally, and politely, exited our home – I felt that I needed another challenge:

The�Fish Pond at St. Helena’s:

Of course!�Everyone knows what a daredevil I am – I just couldn’t say no to Jen’s (repeated) requests to “volunteer.”� I don’t regret a moment. In fact, I’m pretty sure that my time in Purgatory is reduced by exactly the same amount of hours that I spent in that claustrophobic booth. That’s five hours, God. Should I go on and on about the ROOM & BOARD project I’m working on?�21 down, only 279 to go!�I love you, grayish-brownish-not-quite-taupe-ish-sort-of-smog-ish ink.

September 23, 2009
Would You Rather…?

Vomit blood for a week or have a nail gun misfire so that the nail pierces your eyeball?*

WHICH ONE DO YOU CHOOSE?!

Maybe I’d choose the vomiting… I hear the ICU is like staying in a fancy hotel.�You see? Life is about choices. Or wait… is it about rolling with the punches?�Having your eye sewn shut is worse than getting punched – Maybe life is about getting your nail-pierced-eyeball sewn shut.

Yes. That sounds about right.

��

* These events are true and happened to two men that I know. Both named Ben.

September 7, 2009
Psycho Suzie’s and the Fu Manchu

I can’t wait to turn 40.

Jen did it and she got a Fu Manchu AND pickles. It was a very special evening – one she will never remember.

See how the Fu Manchu put her under his spell? Isn’t he cunning? Poor Jen, she never had a chance.

September 3, 2009
Best In Show

I was always jealous of those farm kids at the State Fair. Barefoot and confident, covered in dust � their coveralls did indeed coverall, catching every drip of ice cream, every drop of grease. I imagined that they slept right on the hay bales that penned off their milking goats – what a life!

Their blue-ribbon proudly pinned for all the Fair-Goers to see.�And�The City Kids lined up to milk�their�goats!�Why can’t I have a goat? Why can’t I run around the fair barefoot � ringworm be damned!�

I guess�that DIY story�is coming together � one of the writers called me on my telephone… I kept telling her everything was “off the record” – she seemed confused. I can’t just open myself up to the public.� They did ask me to create Headlines for the other “Best In Show” categories. I wanted to do them in macaroni but they reminded me that I own a design and�letterpress�studio – not a design and macaroni�studio. Now I feel like a missed the boat on that concept.

Here are some of the headlines they asked for:

Oh, they also wanted some blue ribbons:

August 15, 2009
Sankyou Panko Japanese Style Breading (box)

“How can we be expected to teach children to read when they can’t even fit inside the building?”-Derek Zoolander

It turns out that Panko Japanese Style�Breading boxes are the perfect size for my Press (kit) Boxes! It’s true. Now my family will enjoy breaded EVERYTHING for the next two weeks.

Breaded meat, breaded not-meat, breaded bread… YUMMY. � �

The boxes have been turned inside-out, printed on, and stuffed with a variety of cards. I might sprinkle extra breading in for packing… We’ll see. I’d say that I’m sending them to my favorite magazines but that’s not entirely true.

Bass Master, Muslim Girl, and Quick Quilts didn’t make the cut.

Who did?

Oprah and Martha. And others. I think Oprah and Martha should combine forces, the masses would kneel before them.

August 12, 2009
Chanukah and the Beach

Back on the Cape (Cod) again. I spent a restless night out in the barn. Maybe it was the vinyl covered futon OR my teenager’s shenanigans OR the twin mosquitos that took turns attacking me. I just don’t know – I just don’t know why my uncomfortable evening produced this:

(Inside: God bless you.)

August 6, 2009

-33� in Brainerd

That’s where I am. Will I ever be able to get back to Minneapolis? Stay tuned.

And, just because I’m a little obsessed with the weather, I gathered some very important figures. -�Record low temperatures in The United States of America:

State	Temp.	Date	Station	Elevation
Alabama	-27	Jan. 30, 1966	New Market	760
Alaska	-80	Jan. 23, 1971	Prospect Creek	1,100
Arizona	-40	Jan.� 7, 1971	Hawley Lake	8,180
Arkansas	-29	Feb. 13, 1905	Pond	1,250
California	-45	Jan. 20, 1937	Boca	5,532
Colorado	-61	Feb.� 1, 1985	Maybell	5,920
Connecticut	-32	Feb. 16, 1943	Falls Village	585
Delaware	-17	Jan. 17, 1893	Millsboro	20
Florida	– 2	Feb. 13, 1899	Tallahassee	193
Georgia	-17	Jan. 27, 1940	Mauna Kea	13,770
Idaho	-60	Jan. 18, 1943	Island Park Dam	6,285
Illinois	-36	Jan.� 5, 1999	Congerville	722
Indiana	-36	Jan. 19, 1994	New Whiteland	785
Iowa	-47	Feb.� 3, 1996*	Elkader	770
Kansas	-40	Feb. 13, 1905	Lebanon	1,812
Kentucky	-37	Jan. 19, 1994	Shelbyville	730
Louisiana	-16	Feb. 13, 1899	Minden	194
Maine	-48	Jan. 19, 1925	Van Buren	458
Maryland	-40	Jan. 13, 1912	Oakland	2,461
Massachusetts	-35	Jan. 12, 1981	Chester	640
Michigan	-51	Feb.� 9, 1934	Vanderbilt	785
Minnesota	-60	Feb.� 2, 1996	Tower	1,430
Mississippi	-19	Jan. 30, 1966	Corinth	420
Missouri	-40	Feb. 13, 1905	Warsaw	700
Montana	-70	Jan. 20, 1954	Rogers Pass	5,470
Nebraska	-47	Feb. 12, 1899	Camp Clarke	3,700
Nevada	-50	Jan.� 8, 1937	San Jacinto	5,200
New Hampshire	-47	Jan. 29, 1934	Mt. Washington	6,288
New Jersey	-34	Jan.� 5, 1904	River Vale	70
New Mexico	-50	Feb.� 1, 1951	Gavilan	7,350
New York	-52	Feb. 18, 1979*	Old Forge	1,720
North Carolina	-34	Jan. 21, 1985	Mt. Mitchell	6,525
North Dakota	-60	Feb. 15, 1936	Parshall	1,929
Ohio	-39	Feb. 10, 1899	Milligan	800
Oklahoma	-27	Jan. 18, 1930	Watts	958
Oregon	-54	Feb. 10, 1933*	Seneca	4,700
Pennsylvania	-42	Jan.� 5, 1904	Smethport	est. 1,500
Rhode Island	-25	Feb.� 5, 1996	Greene	425
South Carolina	-19	Jan. 21, 1985	Caesars Head	3,100
South Dakota	-58	Feb. 17, 1936	McIntosh	2,277
Tennessee	-32	Dec. 30, 1917	Mountain City	2,471
Texas	-23	Feb.� 8, 1933*	Seminole	3,275
Utah	-69	Feb.� 1, 1985	Peter’s Sink	8,092
Vermont	-50	Dec. 30, 1933	Bloomfield	915
Virginia	-30	Jan. 22, 1985	Mountain Lake	3,870
Washington	-48	Dec. 30, 1968	Mazama	2,120
West Virginia	-37	Dec. 30, 1917	Lewisburg	2,200
Wisconsin	-55	Feb.4,�� 1996	Couderay	1,300
Wyoming	-66	Feb.� 9, 1933	Riverside	6,650

AND before we start killing and eating each other,�we are entertaining ourselves by throwing boiling water into the cold air.

rob-turns-water-to-steam

January 2, 2010

0�, Hydraulics and a Hair Dryer

Why is it that the one time I leave my house something awesome happens?? Jack drove the�Heidelberg Windmill�down from Wahpeton, North Dakota this morning. Drove it right down to our fancy studio.

I’m in Brainerd not running around the house in my underwear and Jen is back at ZP headquarters. Who knew (Jack the mover knew) that the press was going to be delivered TODAY? Apparently, the hydraulic part of the pallet jack (not Jack the mover) didn’t love the 0�. I guess it was frozen and I’m no expert but that seems like a setback. Jen called me wondering where she could find a hair dryer. I don’t know why she wanted to style her hair but I’m not going to judge. Apparently, Jen’s beautiful hair did the trick because the new press is safe and sound in the SW corner of the shop.

January 2, 2010
It’s ART!! DO YOU HEAR ME?? ART!!

Alphabetically speaking,�Zeichen�follows�Warhol�in the�Room and Board�dictionary. Andy Warhol and Zeichen Press sit side-by-side on the�Wall Art page�- I don’t want to speak for Mr. Warhol BUT I’ll bet he is�thrilled�with the proximity… This might be just�the thing to jump-start his career… Good luck, Andy!! You weird, prolific little man!!

So, back on the R&B website – here’s what the description�DOESN’T�say:

Produced entirely by hand using
vintage (super old) printing equipment,
Zeichen Press creates this letterpress
design exclusively for us in their
Minneapolis studio. Actually, they call
it a studio but really it was once the
family garage – an issue that nearly
cost the owner (Fran Shea) her marriage,
and more importantly, the garage.
I mean, studio. Using a centuries-old
manual printing method, they set salvaged,
antique type by hand in limited print runs
to give the work a one-of-a-kind quality
that feels both modern and classic.
��
They edited that copy down to the nub! But I suppose they know best.

Have a look at these photos: GASP!�They make me want to buy one of my own prints!

December 27, 2009
The strong would survive the winter. The weak would, of course, be eaten.

The Long Winter�is the true tale of a Minnesota family surviving one of the most brutal Winters in our recorded history. Trapped in the house – day after day after day – the blizzard makes it impossible to see out the window or even walk out to the barn without getting lost. Good ol’ Pa rigs up a rope to follow, he is always coming up with some creative solution! Ma follows that rope because Pa finds himself trapped in a ditch by the creek. The wood pile dwindles to nothing and the family is forced to twist hay into little bundles – they would burn these in the cast-iron stove to heat their little house. … Tough, brown bread is the only food left to eat.

Or is it?

What if that was on the jacket flap? I’d totally read that book.

December 24, 2009
It’s time for Christmas rejects!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SH1j1luFOw&feature=related

Gosh, that’s a scary movie! Those poor misfit toys… the choo-choo with the square wheels, the pistol that shoots jelly, the effeminate jack-in-the-box… �I think the jack-in-the-box and that little dentist-elf would make a cute couple.

Okay, so I keep trying to design something to print on these FIVE THOUSAND BEVERAGE COASTERS that we have lying around. I guess no one cares about preserving the shine and luster of their finished furniture.

I think that’s barbaric.

Maybe they think it sends the wrong message? I don’t. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to booze it up through the 12 days of Christmas. In fact, it is acceptable all year round IF you set your drink on one of our beverage coasters. (Was that some sort of plug?? Yes.�Here’s a link:�AND here’s one I designed just for�Touchpoint Retail. It has the recipe for a candy cane martini�right on it.�Isn’t that handy??�

They decided to go with a card design from the Zeichen Press line but JUST TO BE DIFFICULT (I mean,�sui generis.) they had us print it on an oversized SQUARE coaster. But I must admit, it’s pretty darn nice.

December 18, 2009
Two-timing ZP

But I LOVE�you�Zeichen Press! I do. It’s just that�Tanek�has something (money) that you don’t have. Does that sound shallow? It’s not, I swear. It’s not just the money.�They�make me coffee. AND they�tell�me I do good work. You just sit there and take. And take and take and take – a word that comes to mind is “relentless.” But not in a bad way. Did I mention�they’re architects? I know!�Restaurants,�retail,�residential… Wait, did I mention�restaurants?… Of course you had to know, the signs were everywhere. Remember when I made those Tanek paper dolls?�

Or that 4-color halftone?

Wait, that was just last week. Anyway, I’m totally NOT breaking up with you. I’m just going to be seeing them�too.�But that’s cool, right? Don’t be so selfish.

**Editor’s Note: What does this mean??? Zeichen Press is just doing some marketing for�Tanek.

December 13, 2009
Just a Christmas Card

No big deal.

Just a photoshopped-four-color-halftone-letterpress-printed Christmas Card.

Jen and I were like, “Oh, that’s cool. For a Christmas card.”

December 10, 2009
No Coast 2009, Sleestacks and ANOTHER Doppelganger

WHEW! What a weekend!

First of all,�Amanda�came to my house to do my hair.

She did.

Shut up.

I totally care about how I look. It seemed strange to look so beautiful AND carry 500 lbs of cards from a loading dock to a folding table. But I did it for the kids. Jen and I have worked out a system of communication that really facilitates a speedy set up: Jen orders me around like some sort of slave and I stifle sobs behind my Crying Scarf.

There was another letterpress company about 10 feet away from us and we had to fight to defend our turf. Zeichen Press ended up winning because we have better dance moves and we bribed the judges with Bazooka gum.

I figured out something pretty important on Saturday morning: I look like a Sleestack.

OH! Another thing that was pretty amazing: That dapper gent from one of our new cards actually bought the card that he is on!

I love a handsome man with a wallet full of cash. (Do you hear me, Kenny?!)

Let’s see… oh, yes.. the show was jam-packed and we made gobs of moola. I mean, we spread the joy of the season through letterpress goodness.

Here’s me laughing at one of my own jokes:

And here’s Jen endlessly fussing over a display:

I almost forgot to share this bit of news: Somebody actually stole an entire stack of these:

What the???

She must be a professional stalker.

December 7, 2009
Mr. Heidelberg… you RASCAL!

If all goes according to my master plan, 2,500 pounds of love will soon be mine.

2,500 pounds…

That’s one of these:

Or two of him:

Are you intrigued??

November 22, 2009
There Is No Turning Back

The new logo has been crafted of copper and is ready for printing.

…But who are those people supposed to be?? And why does the woman wear her hair as if it were 1986?? Only I know the answers to these mysteries and I have just boarded a train headed for Zermatt.

November 17, 2009