• Minnehahahahahahahaha Creek

    “What street is this??” I yelled up to the boy watching us float past him. He told me that we were just about to enter the Ninth Circle of Hell.

    PHEW! Almost done!

    Three hours to travel 2.5 miles… Could we have walked faster than the creek carried us? Oh, THAT’S the point my kids were making when they got out of their tubes and dragged them the last four blocks! Oh, kids! So subtle!

    I didn’t get a photograph of them on our adventure, BUT a giant spider landed on my belly! AND who needs a picture of all three when one of them modeled for the company that made our tubes?

    river run tube w dylans head.2(Grip those handles! Safety first, Dylan!)

    I only thought the creek-pollution caused blindness one time and I only lost my sunglasses one time — I’d call that a win!

    Here’s a card, maybe inspired by laughter-induced bladder incontinence. MAYBE NOT.

    LIFE spare underpants

    August 11, 2016
  • Roadhouse and Tea Towels and Poop Sandwiches

    My life is one big Sexy Action Thriller. And being a bouncer at the Double Deuce in Missouri when I was only ten years old was pretty intense. Sure, I had great hair and sure I had a winning smile, and sure I always made breaking up bar fights and drinking black coffee look sexy. That’s just who I am.

    FLAT.Fifth Grade Fran in front of the Double Deuce Roadhouse

    Truth is, practicing tai chi in your brother’s sweatpants and running a letterpress design studio with cards SOLD AROUND THE WORLD, takes discipline and dedication.

    Live Wires, our New Zealand distributor, knows this and sent us a token of appreciation.

    live wires tea towel

    I think they’re supposed to be for tea but I already used mine for sopping up blood from a letterpress-related (packing tape dispenser) injury. Thanks Helen Harvey!

    After I bandaged my wound, I made this:

    sorry poop sandwich

    July 31, 2016
  • As The World Turns

    My little sister had baby #2 last week, she gave birth at home but, strangely, didn’t ask me to participate.

    Despite my lack of presence, the birth went off without a hitch because anyone can boil water and get towels. (SORRY MOM.)

    I will give her this card the next time I break in to her house:

    I NEED ALL THE ATTENTIONALSO, I made this because I am so into politics:black white pirateSo, you don’t need to watch the news tonight. You’re welcome.

    July 21, 2016
  • I Dreamed a Dream

    Dinah told me about her crazy dream!

    She said we left her for two weeks with Tib and Jen so we could go to Cape Cod, and she had a fever and hair-balls. She said it was actually more like a nightmare — poor thing!

    I didn’t have the heart to tell her that her nightmare was real… that we did leave her for two weeks with Tib and Jen.

    But she isn’t alone. When she reads the blog, she’ll find out about our scary flight home. The airline warned us, but people just do whatever they want.DO NOT USE - allThe other passengers made calls on their flip-phones, watched who-knows-what on portable televisions, drove their remote-controlled cars up and down the aisle, talked to each other on walkie-talkies, and blasted music on transistor radios! Meanwhile we, The Law-Abiding, were stuck in the teeny-tiny bathroom, forced to take hysterical selfies.FRAN SCARED PLANE look at doorBUT, we managed to land safely, no thanks to all of that recklessness. I will NOT be giving them my latest Thank You Card.grass see ass

    July 13, 2016
  • 02630

    Cape Cod 2016 is (so far) drama AND cage-free. Wait, we did lose one member of the party searching for the water shut-off valve in the cellar.

    Cellar doorBen in cellar

    He was brave and will be missed.

    More importantly, we never found that shut-off valve! One life wasted.

    But we must carry on, he would have wanted it that way.Rocky and ApolloThe very next day was filled with so much splashing and laughter and sunscreen, I’m sure Ben was looking down on us and giggling! Oh, how he’d giggle!Edmund and Steve MarconiAND here’s a little thing from The Boston Globe about Millennials’ loving PAPER greeting cards. DUH.

    July 1, 2016
  • Mystery Solving and Scapegoating and Huge Fans

    This isn’t the first time I blamed The Cats for a crime they didn’t commit.

    Nor will it be the last. tib mugshotThe odor of rotten animal is unforgettable and like the odor of rotting potato, it is embedded in the brain. But sometimes the brain jumbles the smell of decomposing rodent with the smell of a blanket of maggots coating the bottom of the garbage can.

    And that is where my story begins…

    The Summer Breeze gently wafted through the upstairs windows. It was pleasant, until an occasional repulsive odor stung my nostrils. I blamed The Cats for hunting, killing, and hiding their prey somewhere on my second floor.

    But a search for a body was in vain and a garbage can investigation led me to the real suspect: that damn blanket of maggots coating the bottom of the garbage can!

    Mea culpa, Tib!  When will I ever trust you again??

    Speaking of breezes (and puns??)… Here’s a new thank you/congratulations card.really big fan

    June 18, 2016
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  • -33° in Brainerd

    That’s where I am. Will I ever be able to get back to Minneapolis? Stay tuned.

    And, just because I’m a little obsessed with the weather, I gathered some very important figures. - Record low temperatures in The United States of America:

    State Temp. Date Station Elevation
    Alabama -27 Jan. 30, 1966 New Market 760
    Alaska -80 Jan. 23, 1971 Prospect Creek 1,100
    Arizona -40 Jan.  7, 1971 Hawley Lake 8,180
    Arkansas -29 Feb. 13, 1905 Pond 1,250
    California -45 Jan. 20, 1937 Boca 5,532
    Colorado -61 Feb.  1, 1985 Maybell 5,920
    Connecticut -32 Feb. 16, 1943 Falls Village 585
    Delaware -17 Jan. 17, 1893 Millsboro 20
    Florida – 2 Feb. 13, 1899 Tallahassee 193
    Georgia -17 Jan. 27, 1940 Mauna Kea 13,770
    Idaho -60 Jan. 18, 1943 Island Park Dam 6,285
    Illinois -36 Jan.  5, 1999 Congerville 722
    Indiana -36 Jan. 19, 1994 New Whiteland 785
    Iowa -47 Feb.  3, 1996* Elkader 770
    Kansas -40 Feb. 13, 1905 Lebanon 1,812
    Kentucky -37 Jan. 19, 1994 Shelbyville 730
    Louisiana -16 Feb. 13, 1899 Minden 194
    Maine -48 Jan. 19, 1925 Van Buren 458
    Maryland -40 Jan. 13, 1912 Oakland 2,461
    Massachusetts -35 Jan. 12, 1981 Chester 640
    Michigan -51 Feb.  9, 1934 Vanderbilt 785
    Minnesota -60 Feb.  2, 1996 Tower 1,430
    Mississippi -19 Jan. 30, 1966 Corinth 420
    Missouri -40 Feb. 13, 1905 Warsaw 700
    Montana -70 Jan. 20, 1954 Rogers Pass 5,470
    Nebraska -47 Feb. 12, 1899 Camp Clarke 3,700
    Nevada -50 Jan.  8, 1937 San Jacinto 5,200
    New Hampshire -47 Jan. 29, 1934 Mt. Washington 6,288
    New Jersey -34 Jan.  5, 1904 River Vale 70
    New Mexico -50 Feb.  1, 1951 Gavilan 7,350
    New York -52 Feb. 18, 1979* Old Forge 1,720
    North Carolina -34 Jan. 21, 1985 Mt. Mitchell 6,525
    North Dakota -60 Feb. 15, 1936 Parshall 1,929
    Ohio -39 Feb. 10, 1899 Milligan 800
    Oklahoma -27 Jan. 18, 1930 Watts 958
    Oregon -54 Feb. 10, 1933* Seneca 4,700
    Pennsylvania -42 Jan.  5, 1904 Smethport est. 1,500
    Rhode Island -25 Feb.  5, 1996 Greene 425
    South Carolina -19 Jan. 21, 1985 Caesars Head 3,100
    South Dakota -58 Feb. 17, 1936 McIntosh 2,277
    Tennessee -32 Dec. 30, 1917 Mountain City 2,471
    Texas -23 Feb.  8, 1933* Seminole 3,275
    Utah -69 Feb.  1, 1985 Peter’s Sink 8,092
    Vermont -50 Dec. 30, 1933 Bloomfield 915
    Virginia -30 Jan. 22, 1985 Mountain Lake 3,870
    Washington -48 Dec. 30, 1968 Mazama 2,120
    West Virginia -37 Dec. 30, 1917 Lewisburg 2,200
    Wisconsin -55 Feb.4,   1996 Couderay 1,300
    Wyoming -66 Feb.  9, 1933 Riverside 6,650

    AND before we start killing and eating each other, we are entertaining ourselves by throwing boiling water into the cold air.

    rob-turns-water-to-steam

    January 2, 2010
  • 0°, Hydraulics and a Hair Dryer

    Why is it that the one time I leave my house something awesome happens?? Jack drove the Heidelberg Windmill down from Wahpeton, North Dakota this morning. Drove it right down to our fancy studio.

    zeichen-press-hq

    I’m in Brainerd not running around the house in my underwear and Jen is back at ZP headquarters. Who knew (Jack the mover knew) that the press was going to be delivered TODAY? Apparently, the hydraulic part of the pallet jack (not Jack the mover) didn’t love the 0°. I guess it was frozen and I’m no expert but that seems like a setback. Jen called me wondering where she could find a hair dryer. I don’t know why she wanted to style her hair but I’m not going to judge. Apparently, Jen’s beautiful hair did the trick because the new press is safe and sound in the SW corner of the shop.

    get-the-heidelberg-off-the

    get-the-heidelberg-on-the-pthe-heidelber-is-home

     

    January 2, 2010
  • It’s ART!! DO YOU HEAR ME?? ART!!

    Alphabetically speaking, Zeichen follows Warhol in the Room and Board dictionary. Andy Warhol and Zeichen Press sit side-by-side on the Wall Art page - I don’t want to speak for Mr. Warhol BUT I’ll bet he is thrilled with the proximity… This might be just the thing to jump-start his career… Good luck, Andy!! You weird, prolific little man!!

    So, back on the R&B website – here’s what the description DOESN’T say:

    Produced entirely by hand using
    vintage (super old) printing equipment,
    Zeichen Press creates this letterpress
    design exclusively for us in their
    Minneapolis studio. Actually, they call
    it a studio but really it was once the
    family garage – an issue that nearly
    cost the owner (Fran Shea) her marriage,
    and more importantly, the garage.
    I mean, studio. Using a centuries-old
    manual printing method, they set salvaged,
    antique type by hand in limited print runs
    to give the work a one-of-a-kind quality
    that feels both modern and classic.

    °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
    They edited that copy down to the nub! But I suppose they know best.

    Have a look at these photos: GASP! They make me want to buy one of my own prints!

    rb-alphabet_529196_10erb-parsons_938057_10e-450x300

    December 27, 2009
  • The strong would survive the winter. The weak would, of course, be eaten.

    the-strong-would-survive-th

    The Long Winter is the true tale of a Minnesota family surviving one of the most brutal Winters in our recorded history. Trapped in the house – day after day after day – the blizzard makes it impossible to see out the window or even walk out to the barn without getting lost. Good ol’ Pa rigs up a rope to follow, he is always coming up with some creative solution! Ma follows that rope because Pa finds himself trapped in a ditch by the creek. The wood pile dwindles to nothing and the family is forced to twist hay into little bundles – they would burn these in the cast-iron stove to heat their little house. … Tough, brown bread is the only food left to eat.

    Or is it?

    What if that was on the jacket flap? I’d totally read that book.

    December 24, 2009
  • It’s time for Christmas rejects!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SH1j1luFOw&feature=related

    Gosh, that’s a scary movie! Those poor misfit toys… the choo-choo with the square wheels, the pistol that shoots jelly, the effeminate jack-in-the-box…  I think the jack-in-the-box and that little dentist-elf would make a cute couple.

    Okay, so I keep trying to design something to print on these FIVE THOUSAND BEVERAGE COASTERS that we have lying around. I guess no one cares about preserving the shine and luster of their finished furniture.

    I think that’s barbaric.

    Maybe they think it sends the wrong message? I don’t. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to booze it up through the 12 days of Christmas. In fact, it is acceptable all year round IF you set your drink on one of our beverage coasters. (Was that some sort of plug?? Yes. Here’s a link: AND here’s one I designed just for Touchpoint Retail. It has the recipe for a candy cane martini right on it. Isn’t that handy?? coaster-for-touchpoint-450x229

    They decided to go with a card design from the Zeichen Press line but JUST TO BE DIFFICULT (I mean, sui generis.) they had us print it on an oversized SQUARE coaster. But I must admit, it’s pretty darn nice.

    touchpint-coaster-card-fron

    touchpoint-coaster-card-bac

    December 18, 2009
  • Two-timing ZP

    But I LOVE you Zeichen Press! I do. It’s just that Tanek has something (money) that you don’t have. Does that sound shallow? It’s not, I swear. It’s not just the money. They make me coffee. AND they tell me I do good work. You just sit there and take. And take and take and take – a word that comes to mind is “relentless.” But not in a bad way. Did I mention they’re architects? I know! Restaurants, retail, residential… Wait, did I mention restaurants?… Of course you had to know, the signs were everywhere. Remember when I made those Tanek paper dolls? tanek-paper-doll-inside-card

    Or that 4-color halftone?

    tanek-card-untrimmed2

    Wait, that was just last week. Anyway, I’m totally NOT breaking up with you. I’m just going to be seeing them too. But that’s cool, right? Don’t be so selfish.

    **Editor’s Note: What does this mean??? Zeichen Press is just doing some marketing for Tanek.

    December 13, 2009
  • Just a Christmas Card

    No big deal.

    Just a photoshopped-four-color-halftone-letterpress-printed Christmas Card.

    Jen and I were like, “Oh, that’s cool. For a Christmas card.”tanek-card-untrimmed2

     

    December 10, 2009
  • No Coast 2009, Sleestacks and ANOTHER Doppelganger

    WHEW! What a weekend!

    First of all, Amanda came to my house to do my hair.

    She did.

    Shut up.

    I totally care about how I look. It seemed strange to look so beautiful AND carry 500 lbs of cards from a loading dock to a folding table. But I did it for the kids. Jen and I have worked out a system of communication that really facilitates a speedy set up: Jen orders me around like some sort of slave and I stifle sobs behind my Crying Scarf.

    There was another letterpress company about 10 feet away from us and we had to fight to defend our turf. Zeichen Press ended up winning because we have better dance moves and we bribed the judges with Bazooka gum.

    I figured out something pretty important on Saturday morning: I look like a Sleestack.

    fran-sleestack

    sleestack-207x300

    OH! Another thing that was pretty amazing: That dapper gent from one of our new cards actually bought the card that he is on!

    I hope she likes thoughts that count. Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.

    thoughts-that-count-real-ma

    I love a handsome man with a wallet full of cash. (Do you hear me, Kenny?!)

    Let’s see… oh, yes.. the show was jam-packed and we made gobs of moola. I mean, we spread the joy of the season through letterpress goodness.

    Here’s me laughing at one of my own jokes:fran-laughing-no-coast-2009

    And here’s Jen endlessly fussing over a display:jens-arms-arranging-cards-2

    I almost forgot to share this bit of news: Somebody actually stole an entire stack of these:I'm still stalking you. Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.

    What the???

    She must be a professional stalker.

    December 7, 2009
  • Mr. Heidelberg… you RASCAL!

    If all goes according to my master plan, 2,500 pounds of love will soon be mine.

    2,500 pounds…

    That’s one of these:

    austin-mini-cooper-sport-re

    Or two of him:

    alg_heaviest_man

    Are you intrigued??

    heidelberg-logo

    November 22, 2009
  • There Is No Turning Back

    The new logo has been crafted of copper and is ready for printing.

    …But who are those people supposed to be?? And why does the woman wear her hair as if it were 1986?? Only I know the answers to these mysteries and I have just boarded a train headed for Zermatt.

    zeichen-press-new-logo

    November 17, 2009
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