• You Can Take the Girl Out of Minnesota

    The odyssey began exactly three and a half miles West of the Mississippi during what would later be called “Friday.” No need for an alarm to be set because rising at 4am comes so naturally to me – getting a jump on the day makes me feel like a dynamo.

    First legs of journeys are often fueled by earnestness and without vigilance, that fuel can turn to ennui. (ahn-wee)fran-ennui

    Ennui can turn to desperation and when mixed with starvation, can lead to tragedy. Remember the Chilean rugby team? Their plane crashed in the Andes and they ate each other. Survival and cannibalism are in cahoots, everyone knows that.

    Our airline didn’t want that blood on their hands so they loaded us up with a rib-sticking breakfast.

    coffee-cookie-airtran

    Our plane did land safely on the ground and we were stuffed into a sweat lodge/taxi-cab that smelled like thousands of weary travelers. (Curry + pine tree + urine).

    I don’t remember my own birth but I bet it felt similar to exiting the taxi – the crying, the relief, the hotel cradling me in it’s arms.

    Like good tourists, we went right from the hotel to the subway. Now I know that when I go to Purgatory (and I know I will) it will look, feel, and smell like the subway.

    It will make heaven even more glorious.

    manhattan-night

    Because traveling underground on a train isn’t strange enough, the subway was filled with hundreds of boozed-up Santas.

    santa-subway-2

    santa-subway-1

    And because my touristy feet were killing me, I had to go to the T.J. Maxx on Wall street to buy slippers. I did see the Occupy Wall Street people and asked them if they wanted to occupy T.J. Maxx with me but they (all five of them) looked at me like I was crazy.

    occupy

    Oh, we also walked across the Brooklyn Bridge. Has anyone seen that thing? It’s pretty cool and people should really be aware of it.

    fran-and-lucy-brooklyn-bridge

    Don’t I look serious? I didn’t crack a smile all day.

     

    December 13, 2011
  • Farewell, No Coast OR Joy For Sale

    It’s hard to put a price tag on joy and laughter, but we did: $10.

    Actually, four cards for $10. This, and Jen not wearing a top, made our shoppers more giddy than usual.

    The Zeichen Press booth was a beacon of laughter bobbing in the sea of wrist-warmers, nose-rings, and ironic Christmas sweaters.

    no-coast-1 no-coast-2

    I hid behind our card racks for two days and talked to Jen about important things like iron lungs and Santa Clause while our customers snort-laughed (my favorite kind of laugh). There was even a gal that was laughing so hard she had to stamp her foot on the floor. Those responses made me feel like this:

    beaker

    And I think Jen felt like this:

    dr-bunsen

    Finally, a man came up to us and told us all about human exoskeletons. (See blog post #390: Freak-Magnet) Eventually, he rode away on a unicorn.

    What I guess I’m trying to say is that the No Coast Craft-O-Rama was, once again, awesome.

    PS: No show would be complete without a little danger and ours came in the form of an icy, yet beautiful, drive home.

    lakestreet-snow-carwash-sign lakestreet-snow-arbys-sign

    December 5, 2011
  • I DON’T MEAN TO BE PUSHY

    Yes, I do.

    That festive, urban craft fair (the No Coast Craft-O-Rama) is coming up this weekend and if you’ve never been, I will describe it to you:

    Have you ever legally died and felt yourself being drawn into the comforting white light?

    It’s just like that, only better.

    Think Holiday Bazaar. Just kidding. Don’t think that. Think table after table of handmade goodness, guaranteed to provoke gasps and tears of joy.

    To get ready for the show, I made these prints for our wall:no-coast-print

    And Jen did everything else.

    Also, I am thinking about getting my hair done.

    November 28, 2011
  • Surrender and Acceptance

    Jen and I were trying to enjoy the wholesome spirit of the annual Book Arts festivalmcba-2011

    when Winter walked into the party, tracked snow on the floor, didn’t laugh at my jokes, and clogged the toilet. I wasn’t surprised.

    To keep up morale, I invented a pack-less backpack and inflatable underpants. For some reason, this reminded Jen to tell me my fortune. She made one of these:

    closed-fortune

    and filled it with “fortunes.” But I don’t really think they were fortunes.

    open-fortune-arrows-2

    Oh, Jen! You’re such a kidder!

    November 19, 2011
  • Asylum-For-One

    Listen, I could break out of this place if I had some sturdy cornhusks, one tablespoon of vaseline, two steel springs, and a puppy.

    But do I really want to?

    Jen is printing a card

    This time of year fills me with greed. Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.

    in preparation for the MCBA Festival, not the Mutation Chinchilla Breeders Association—a real thing—but the Minnesota Center for Book Arts festival. It’s Saturday, November 19th and if you like celebrating books via buying book-like items (handmade paper, journals, our cards) you should totally go.

    My contribution to the show is this lovely display signage I designed:only-losers-santa

    See you there!

    November 18, 2011
  • Endless Game

    If only I could play an instrument or sing or get along with a group of people, I would release an album full of music. I can’t do any of those things and so I stand

    fortress-of-solitude

    in my Fortress of Solitude and name imaginary albums. This has been going on for, like, 20 years. Here are a few:

    • Liar, You’ve Never Seen the Moon

    • Please Don’t Drive Away, My Leg is Hanging Out of the Car

    • Why Don’t You Need My Wagon?

    • That’s Not Cake (Don’t Eat it)

    • He Tries To Control Me With His Eggrolls

    And so on.

    I will eventually take it a step further and design the album art – a band will come to me and select one and most likely it will go double platinum. I’m pretty sure that’s the way it works.

    —

    My sister’s wedding was on Saturday

    cathedral-wedding-2and I cried like a baby because I felt nostalgic. My sister used to watch Lamb Chop’s Play-Along and I really miss Sherry Lewis.lambchop

    After the ceremony, I dried my eyes and went to the party. There was a lot of drinking and a lot of dancing. And this album cover was created:sad-bride

    I think it would be good for a funk metal group or maybe spoken word.

    October 17, 2011
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  • David Hasselhoff, Jerry Lewis, Zeichen Press

    The closest I’ve been to Australia is the Victoria’s Filet at the Outback Steakhouse in Blaine, MN (pop: 44,942). I’m not sure who to thank for introducing Zeichen Press to our Australian cousins. Maybe Ampersand Duck had something to do with it or maybe it was my grassroots advertising campaign. I stuffed (but first I drank) 1000 bottles of wine with Zeichen Press Cards and threw them into the Atlantic Ocean.

    Maybe one washed up on the shores of Melbourne because this showed up in their newspaper:sunday-age-450x277

    Our CanCards are their Object of Desire. Thank you, Australia.

    Someday I will visit you. And your kangaroos. And your boomerangs.

    July 10, 2009
  • Seven Pounds is the name of the movie not the weight of my head

    About a jillion years ago, I was contacted by some Hollywood set designer – she wanted to know if I had extra letterpress “JUNK JUNK JUNK” for a new movie starring Rosario Dawson and Will Smith. Wait. What?! Trembling, I clutched my Fresh Prince of Bel Air collection to my chest and replied, “Oh, that’s cool. Yeah, I could Fed Ex some stuff to you guys – I won’t charge extra for the dust.” (Followed by cool and knowing laughter). What a comfortable rapport! I was talking TO Hollywood. Maybe they’d ask me to audition for the movie! The movie… Maybe Rosario Dawson needed an understudy… or a body double?

    rosario-dawson-450x345

    We could be twins!judy-gets-a-bath

    I asked the set designer when they’d like to fly me out, explaining that my schedule was flexible enough to accommodate movie- shoots, sightseeing, and pool-parties. She told me she’d have her people call my people.

    ANYWAY, it turns out they were able to pull the set together without my JUNK JUNK JUNK and Rosario politely declined my offer — we’re still totally friends

    …So I finally watched The Movie last night. Ummm, Will Smith can fix my press anytime. Is that my review? Is that all I have to say? … Uhh, Rosario was convincingly ill and I bawled like a baby. There. Happy?? OH, and the garage-studio was super cute and perfect.

    PS: Strangely, Rosario’s character ALSO nicknamed her press The Beast. What?! c-and-p-shop-2012

    June 24, 2009
  • 96°

    I’m dripping with sweat. I’m marinating in sweat – the shop has got to be 100° . My head feels fuzzy… and my hands (are those my hands?) are leaving sweat-finger-prints on all the paper that I’m cutting.

    Wait, I smell barbecue chicken! Wait, maybe I’m on fire…. False alarm. It’s really chicken.

    So, I’m cutting paper in my bathing suit. I feel like I’m wearing a snowsuit in a sauna.

    I love summer. I’m not even kidding.

    June 23, 2009
  • Wanamingo

    My kitchen faucet broke (again) and as I crouched on the patio with the garden hose and plastic scrubby, my mind wandered to faraway lands. Specifically, Wanamingo, Minnesota. Oh, Wanamingo! Has anyone written an ode to thee? I was in Wanamingo today and overheard this “conversation” between a mother and child at the 60 Stop Gas Station:

    Child: “I  want eggs for breakfast.”

    Mother: ” You can’t get everything you want. I wanted flowers for Mother’s Day and I got nuthin’!”

    Oh, well. The REAL Wanamingo is full of chickens, barn cats, fictional alpacas and acres of hard-working folks that build chicken coops and excavate pig cemeteries – just for fun. These people walk around with just a hint of a smile, a smile that says, “I chop the logs to heat my house. I know how to grow potatoes. I know the difference between bush beans and pole beans.”

    They also spend the Winter trying not to recreate a scene from The Shining.

    I’M JUST SAYING.

    Okay, so maybe I don’t have what it takes to step off the grid and live like Ma Kettle. Maybe the closest I get to feeling the heartland is living with a broken faucet. Fetching water for cooking makes me feel like a barbarian.

    In between all my water fetching I made this :

    Cafe-Greeting-Cards-business-card-red-&-black

    It’s gonna be BIG people.

    BIG.

    June 13, 2009
  • GRANDMA!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME??!!

    Grandmas don’t read HOW and they certainly do NOT read SWISS  MISS but they DO read Better Homes and Gardens. You know, BHG? See how I just dropped that abbrev? Grandma would thumb through the fashion and gossip mags at the checkout but like any good homemaker she would add the BHG to her cart. If she was feeling particular sassy, she’d throw in the DIY magazine (brought to you by the good people at BHG).

    Oh, DIY! You know Martha Stewart (PS: Martha, I DO want to see how you hay your fields) reads you under the covers with a flashlight – praying that Alexis doesn’t march into the room and flip on the soft-and-natural light. 

    DIY magazine is doing a story on handmade goods – a “Best in Show” collection of the various craft shows around the country. We’ll be featured in the “Printed and Pressed” spread. Mmmm, printed and pressed… that makes me want a panini. Here are some photos – we can’t decide, although I think #4 tells a good story. Sometimes I go into the shop at night and Jen is just standing there like that. Shudder.

    Jen and Fran must be happy.Jen and Fran seem so content.

    Fran with hand gun. Is Jen evil?scary-jen-and-fran-photosho

    ONE MORE! (I photoshopped a smile on Jen’s face):

    Jen is smiling.

    June 7, 2009
  • A Poster on Rosin Paper

    Recently, my roof was crawling with roofers and I watched while they threw hunks of 80-year-old shingles into my Lilac bushes. After screaming at them in the only Spanish I knew (¿De quién perro es ése??!! : Whose dog is that??!!) I grew very interested in a particular part of the process: a giant roll of red paper was used to cover my roof like gift-wrap – I thought it was strange and tried to mime some sort of conversation – my arms waving wildly, like I was landing a plane on an aircraft carrier. The foreman handed me a hundred-dollar-bill and told me I was special. I still don’t know what happened. 

    Madge is turning sixty AND ALSO celebrating her 35th wedding anniversary. I have the honor of creating a poster to commemorate this Holy Convergence. There is a roll of red rosin paper and a couple cans of ink in the shop that are dying to be a part of the project. Here’s a sneak peak:

    scan-35-60.color

    June 6, 2009
  • Are you my logo?

    Back in the day When Men Wore Hats, back when cuffs were linked, when the boardroom had a bar, when men were men and women were secretaries; way back then, The Logo was king. I wish I could have been there. Thank God for Mad Men.  Dear Lord, please protect Don Draper from small cell lung carcinoma. Amen.

    I love a good logo. I love it like I love my mother. I want it to challenge me at every turn.  I want it to lodge itself into my relational thinking. I want it to manipulate me. I DO.

    Observe:

    Vandalia-Street-Press-card.

    Selby Otis card

    May 27, 2009
  • Californy is the place you ought to be

    California would be the perfect place to be except for one teeny-tiny thing. No Zeichen Press. But soon all of its fine citizens will gobble up our goods like manna in the desert. LIKE MANNA. 

    Will Los Angeles (and its glorious surrounding areas) embrace the simple and slightly twisted humor from Minnesota? 

    Stay tuned.

    May 20, 2009
  • My Google Shrine is bogus

    What am I doing wrong? I devote myself to one search engine. ONE. There are so many more but my eye has never wandered. Sure, I played around a little bit with Yahoo – who didn’t? I just feel like this relationship is completely one-sided. I do. I give and give, search and search and when I FINALLY search for me, I get nothing but pages and pages of other letterpress studios. UM, that makes me ill. Listen, google: (If that is your real name) You either put me first or it’s over. That’s me; Zeichen Press. A design and letterpress studio in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Maker of fun and funny greeting cards and disc sleeves for one and all.

    May 13, 2009
  • First Base with Trader Joe’s

    The Trader Joe’s card chick sent a fat check with a little note that said, “Dearest Zeichen Press, let’s get it on.” 

    Isn’t that romantic?

    Sighhh, I love this stage of a relationship. Both a little awkward, both excited – sniffing each other’s bottoms. Other things go unnoticed –  cleaning, bills, cooking, dad’s life-support machine. 

    I used to raise my hand in class, working my face to communicate a message to my teacher. It was important to get into character – my character was The Girl That Needs To Use The Bathroom Super Bad. It was serious. Of course, I’d be excused and head to the library. The librarian was the tough but lovable hunchback, Sister Avila. She loved the Dewey Decimal System. Never a word from her mouth – just the stern pencil-tapping was enough to make me stuff a sock in it. Every day there was a crisp new StarTribune on the big table. I would feign interest in Global Matters but couldn’t wait to get the comics.

    If Trader Joe’s likes this next round of cards I owe it all to skipping class, Sister Avila, and the comics of the late-1980’s. I claimed to despise the Family Circus, but dammit – I read it every day. I also followed Mark Trail - the Cary Grant of the comics. BUT I saved The Far Side for the very end – Gary Larson was the Pope of the Funnies. If he ever comes out of his pen-and-ink cave, I will kiss his ring.

    Okay, here we go:

    HURRY! That birthday is just around the corner.That's MR. Happy BirthdayYou don't look a day over three.I'm clearing my calendar for your birthday.Yikes! My youth just scurried by.

    May 12, 2009
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