• Step one:

    Part of the World Domination Plan involves a complete Zeichen Press website redesign. Just imagine our new logo in living, breathing, MOVING, technicolor! Oh, the anticipation dizzies me. My prop shopping list includes a wig and a man. …I guess my husband could be the man… Lord knows he’d love the attention. Especially the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

    My friend Fred started photographing our product line. It’s a Fair Trade – just like when the Indians traded Manhattan for wampum.

    PS: Did you know that Zeichen Press cards can be delivered right to your door? That’s right! You don’t even have to leave your house. Or your bed. Like me. What will they think of next??two-bald-men surprise-i-totally-forgot hello-is-this-the-police does-this-sandwich what-the-duck oh-kitty-where-have

    February 10, 2010
  • As we descend into the bowels of that beast called Winter

    It is February 1.

    If anyone is left please contact me. I have locked myself in the furnace room and my rations are dwindling. I am eating Panko Japanese Style Breading with a dirty popsicle stick and telling myself it’s Lik-A-Stix. Mmmmm, Lik-A-Stix…

    Somehow, I was able to make this card:sup-dawg-450x577

    February 1, 2010
  • Je m’appelle Françoise

    If I were getting married I would design and letterpress print my own invitation.

    What am I saying?? No, I wouldn’t. I don’t even send out the Christmas cards that I design and letterpress print. WHAT??!! I know. This is a blog post and a confession.

    Anyway, Minnesota Bride included  one of our wedding invitations in a nice little spread they called ”Vintage in Vogue.”

    See?

    minnesota-bride-logo-450x173mn-bride

    2. Inspired by the couple’s romantic first meeting in the city of love, designer Fran Shea blended imagery from Paris with a vintage postcard theme to create a classic yet distinctive invite. Using letterpress printing and a unique accordion layout, this design evokes an aura of chic French elegance. Zeichen Press, 612.432.1943, zeichenpress.com

    January 31, 2010
  • A roomful of Letterpress printers

    It was everything I imagined. Except better, because of the chicken shots. Yum! 

    Mary Bruno organized the event in honor of Amos Kennedy’s timely arrival. As far as I could tell, Amos is not related to THE Kennedy family. There were certain clues, like: He did not share that distinctive/made up accent or that glamorous head of hair. Also, he is black.

    Anyway, Amos was there and we hugged like old friends. There was much talk, naturally, of printing presses. Mary Bruno ended up breaking a beer bottle and using it as a weapon – apparently her “street cred” was at stake. Boy was I glad to get out of there with only minor injuries. I wish I could say the same for Jen. Please send flowers and meals to our headquarters.

    zeichen-press-hq

    Two St. Paul printers showed up : Fred Petters of Vandalia Street Press and Bill Moran of Blinc Publishing. Bill was nice. Fred ate off of other people’s plates. I could go on and on but why should I when I have this amazing photograph that perfectly captured the evening?

    half-of-titus-mary-and-amos-450x337

    January 26, 2010
  • And this is where Fran and Jen learn to use their new Heidelberg

    Oh, the joy of leaning over a giant machine that has the potential to crush my hands and create such beauty!

    I think I felt joy. Or panic? In any case, I felt some sort of feeling while leaning over the New Press. Karl (the previous owner) had explained, really clearly, the 1,000 things to know – why couldn’t I remember them?? Knobs, pulls, blades, grippers, clutch levers, friskets, sucker bars, rollers, toggles, gears, pins, springs… they all seemed to get tangled up in my mind.

    Oh, so tangled!

    Just like a rat king.rat-king

    That’s what happens when the tail of one thought gets covered in feces and the tail of another thought gets stuck to it… and the tail of another thought gets stuck to the other thoughts. It’s all very messy and usually ends up in some Dutch chimney.

    Anyway, here’s a snippet of our lesson:

    January 18, 2010
  • Vintage Indie

    This is Gabreial Wyatt —>

    gabriel-wyatt

    I think we would totally have been friends in high school. She would have called us “top-secret friends”. I was told (by my “top-secret friends”) that “top-secret friends” are better than regular friends. Sure, they don’t go anywhere in public with you, or sit next to you at lunch, or acknowledge your presence – but, that doesn’t mean anything.

    Gabreial keeps a blog about all things vintage AND indie. She interviewed me because we are such good “top-secret friends”.

    Bless her heart.

    January 13, 2010
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  • Craftstravaganza Review/Doppelganger Evidence

    The day began with a single, tissue-wrapped banana-lovingly prepared by the May Day Cafe.

    It’s all about the details.

    From there it was a regular thrill-ride down 35W. Sometimes when Jen drives, I close my eyes and scream The Lord’s Prayer. Jen tries to shut me up by stuffing buttermilk scones in my mouth. I do a lot of praying when Jen’s around. Dear God, please help me not to crush Jen’s toes with a case full of lead type.

    The Craftstravaganza was more fun than usual. Everything is more fun with darts. We sold lots of stuff, here’s Jen practicing her smile:

    Jen!!

    After I took this photo, I backed into Pevenshire Wiffynuts.

    Mr. WiffynutsPevenshire Wiffynuts Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.Needless to say, my mind was blown. With barely a moment to recover, Two Bald Men came to our table. I fainted and hit my head. To wake me up, Jen threw a cup of hot coffee at my face. She should be a nurse.

    Two Bald MenCheer up, you could be two bald men. Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.

    May 3, 2009
  • Oh, sweet affirmation!

    Jennifer Sbranti IS the Hostess With The Mostess.

    Don't mess.

    That’s a fact. If I lived in San Diego I would crash her parties, she would be like, “WHAT?! YOU again? Take off that wig and crawl back under the gate.” She wrote a little something about Zeichen Press on her blog today. To thank her, I am writing a book entitled, 1001 Ways to thank Jennifer Sbranti.

    Is that weird?

    May 1, 2009
  • Celine Dion at the Craftstravaganza!!!

    I’m totally kidding. Wouldn’t that be awesome though? I was picturing her at Bergan’s Grocery Store this morning… standing with her microphone –  between the Rug Doctor Rentals and the helium balloons… Singing like it’s a Saturday Night in Vegas. Oh, Celine! Shopping would be a pleasure with your angelic voice wafting through the air, mingling with deli-smells – My heart would go on.

    The Craftstravaganza? Right. We will be there with 55 of our closest crafting friends. When I say, “crafting” don’t think about toilet paper cozies, kleenex box cozies, toaster cozies, and toilet brush cozies. Don’t. I’m not judging the ladies that make things cozy, I’m just wondering why everything needs to be so cozy. Okay, DO think about hand-made goods. GOODS. I’d even call them hand-made greats. See how I am? See how I roll? You know it.

    craftstravaganza09poster-download1

    Going to the State Fair Grounds off-season is like bumping into your teacher at your dentist’s office. What the hell are YOU doing here?! You’re not supposed to leave school! Your teeth aren’t real!!

    See you on Saturday my Best Beloved. Bring your wallet. And your mom.

    April 25, 2009
  • Creek-Bike & Room & Board

    The ice on the creek melted and it was time, again, for the Creek-Garbage-Opener! Our tackle box contained exactly two things: a giant hook (the Kitchen-Aid-bread-dough-attachment) and 50 feet of obsolete ethernet cable.  The catch-of-the-day was larger than usual and after  a nail-biting struggle, this was pulled  out:

    Creek-Bike

    It smells like death but it’s ours. 

    What does any of this have to do with Room & Board?

    Ugh. It’s so obvious. 

    So anyway, we gave our prints to Room and Board and we’re waiting to hear what the President & Vice President think. Personally, I don’t think they really needed to take it to that level. Obama is a busy fellow. Here are a couple things they liked:

    Big gray typeWood type

    Wanted Poster Type

    April 17, 2009
  • Must…write…more…cards………………

    There seems to be something gnawing on the chicken-bone of my subconscious. Not just gnawing, but dipping it in creamy, blu-cheese dressing and sucking on it.

    Thank goodness for the wet-nap, or whatever is doing the gnawing would contaminate the rest of my psyche. I like my non-physical parts to be separate. Like a melamine hot-lunch tray. Everything stays within it’s little-walled-area and nobody gets fussy.

    Unfortunately, or maybe not, there does seem to be some breach in the Dreaming ~ Day Dreaming compartments. Sandbagging might help. Or a thick, mashed-potato partition – the mashed potatoes finally living up to their destiny.

    Great writers are great ruminators but great ruminators are not necessarily great writers. I think that’s what I’m talking about. Or was I talking about my days in the cafeteria? Ah, the cafeteria…“Lunch Lady? Would you mind being careful to keep the gravy in its… No? Yes, you’re right. It all ends up in the same place…”  In the toilet. Which is, of course, a metaphor. That’s what happens when you give children mixed-messages.

    So, anyway. I have a growing collection of printer’s cuts and for some reason I feel compelled to give each of them something to say. I realize that the New Yorker’s Caption Contest is eerily similar to what I do. Except I always win. That’s the nice thing about owning the company. Thatand the hugs I get from complete strangers. Why do strangers hug me? They might be trying to squeeze the life out of me. I’m not sure. They tell me not to resist – I’m always like, ”Resist? Resist what? Who am I to stifle this bizarre act of love?”

    Where was I? … Right. A line I wrote for a lonely cut:

    Sorry.

    PSSST,

    are you coming to my funeral?

    April 11, 2009
  • Franimals: A-Z!!

    Should a grown woman spend the day in bed drawing animals?

    No? What if the animals are super-cute and made entirely of her favorite font? What if the woman was very ill, clinging to life by a bed-thread? What if… what if… oh, what if… oh, my bed-sores… Without further ado, Franimals:

    copyright: do you feel me??

    A-J Franimals were originally designed for Room & Board. Sadly, they were overlooked. Apparently kids today aren’t interested in “animals” or “alphabets” That’s not Room & Board’s fault. Or…is…it?

    ANYWAY, I love Room & Board. Sometimes I break into their showroom and rehearse scenes from Failure to Launch starring Mr. Matthew McConaughey.

    Matthew! Your mischievous smile… your love for Mother Earth… your shirtless-ness…

    What am I talking about? Oh, yes. My fever. It’s very high and I wouldn’t turn down a copy of Erin Brockovich and some German Spaetzel.

    April 9, 2009
  • If your parents REALLY loved you

    they would have me design a super sweet invitation for an important event in your life. IF they REALLY loved you they would call me on the phone and say, “Hey, Fran! My name is Mr. Blee-Blah-Blah! I would like to demonstrate my love for my child by paying you to artistically interpret an upcoming event.  Your design savoir faire is the ONLY match for the depth of love I have for my child. They have a (insert important event) coming up. Let’s do this.” 

    CLICK.

    I’m just saying.

    We created the following Bat Mitzvah invitation for a family that clearly knows how to express their love:

    Testify!

    March 31, 2009
  • Room & Board & Me & Jen & Kangaroo Meat

    Ding! Round two!

    Meeting with Room & Board this afternoon. If all goes according to my master-plan* R&B will bite the inside of their cheeks to stifle their sobs of awe when I reveal The Prints. To diffuse the awesome aura, I will hand out sunglasses. Personally, I think inked antique type is as delicious as kangaroo meat from First Course.

    YES. kangaroo meat. 

    Round one for Room & Board ended up being a creative exercise – I know, I know. My Reward Will Be In Heaven. I produced some cutey cutes for Children’s Rooms. I dug down deep into that soft part of my heart – it was under a layer of small pebbles – and found these: I call them Franimals:

    franimals

    *master-plan: do not get lost driving to Room & Board HQ.

    March 26, 2009
  • fancy-talk

    Dahhhhhhhhhhhhhling!

    You simply must see the latest thing! Diamonds are so last week and pearls are so last century. Resin and metal is H-O-T! I hate to muddle-up the Natural Order of the Universe (no, I don’t) but we simply couldn’t say no to Ampersand Designs suggestion of collaboration!

    We already sat side-by-side in the Oscar Luncheon gift bags – and – although opening the gift bags caused a face-melting scene ala Raiders of the Lost Ark, we decided to combine our chocolate with their peanut butter for a super-sweet fashion-statement.

    Buy one or ten today!

    DO NOT EAT THIS.

    March 18, 2009
  • I ? NE + Downtown + Scott Parkin + Stephen Lynch + Rod Cone + David Josefsberg

    Dear Diary,

    Last night was ever so much fun! I went to a party and got a lock of everyone’s hair for my scrapbook. My art was hot glue-gunned to the wall by Jen.

    Jen at work - note the ever-present bottle of beer that is always within arms reach of her arm.

    Oh, Jen… will she ever settle down? She wore a short little dress and MOTORCYCLE BOOTS!! She’s trouble. See her little tiny head?:

    I see you, Jen!

    The young man that sold me my dress failed to tell me that it also doubled as a shirt.

    I blame him for the indecent length.

    Before wine.

    I also blame him for climate change, hiccoughs, Christopher Reeve’s “accident”, and my parents break-up.

    ~

    There were so many tasty bits about that party. Jocelyn’s food and drink was dee. lish.us.

     Scott Parkin‘s street-level office was cooler (and cleaner) than anything I will ever own.

    Maybe that’s why he asked me to stand by the door.

    And sit in a highchair.

    Studio on Fire displayed their goodness on the West Wall. And by that I mean, Ben Levitz stood nude on a chair in front of the West Wall. It wasn’t the least bit uncomfortable. Something about the beard made him seem fully dressed.

    Part II of the evening was jam-packed full of comedy. Stephen Lynch was gracious enough to give us front row seats to his show. Um, I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard since he came to town last year. AND did you know that The Hilton grills up Steak Bites for hungry travelers after midnight? Well, they do. We ate them and laughed at Rod Cone.

    Rod Cone posing so pretty at the Hilton

    Or was it the other way around?

    BUT there was one thing we all could agree on: It would be better to lose an arm than have your face chewed off by a chimp.

    AND never wrestle a Praying Mantis. 

    Ready, Wrestle!

    Oh, and somehow during the course of the evening, this happened:

    Me with two purses - on stage at the State Theater

    Oh, Diary… what will tomorrow bring?!

    March 14, 2009
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