• MakeReady-Or-Not

    How To Play:

    Witch

    • Using a neighborhood approved selection method (engine, engine #9 — bubblegum, bubblegum in a dish, etc.) select The Witch.

    • Use the same method to select a Guinea Pig.

    • The remaining players are Runners.

    • The Witch leads The Guinea Pig away. (This should be terrifying.) The Witch hides The Guinea Pig — not on the garage roof. (This might be tempting. Don’t do it.)

    • The Witch gives (verbally) a list of tasks to The Guinea Pig — things like: A) Run around the house three times singing The Happy Birthday Song. B) Dig a hole, bury one June Bug in it. C) Fill a hat with decorative rocks from the neighbor’s garden, etc.

    • At this point, The Witch must call out “ready-or-not!” from wherever he/she is waiting/hiding.

    • The “tasks” given to the The Guinea Pig are meant to lure the Runners off their safe-base and into the waiting/hiding clutches of The Witch while searching for the hidden Guinea Pig.

    • When/if any Runners are caught by The Witch, he or she turns them into Another Guinea Pig. Meaning: They are hidden and given a new list of tasks for The Runners to complete.

    • When tasks are completed for a particular Pig, a Runner must free them by tagging. The Guinea Pig must run to the safe-base without being caught by The Witch.

    • If The Runners successfully free The Guinea Pig(s), they win the game.

    • If The Witch catches all of The Runners, she/he wins the game.

    * If someone wets their pants during course of play, a “time-out” should be called and fresh pants should replace wet pants.

    ————-

    In a bold (not really) and unprecedented (true) move, Zeichen Press will be offereing box sets of greeting cards that are not letterpress printed.

    Hold your applause until the end.

    We call this our Makeready Collection.

    Why?

    Letterpress printers (like us) need to test placement, packing, and color when printing something new. The same old piece of paper is printed on over and over again, resulting in an odd (and might I add, paranormal?) mishmash of goodness.

    Our Makeready Collection imitates this letterpress printing practice using a computer and some other kind of printing. (Offset)

    Here are the three designs: (Available for The New Year)bonnie-makeready-birthday-grab-blog-no-line bonnie-makeready-everyday-illus-grab bonnie-makeready-holiday-grab

    October 13, 2012
  • Your Marriage vs. The Zombie Apocalypse

    I’m not a lawyer or a scientist but I understand the importance of writing marital vows that contain language relating to soulless corpses.

    I know it’s not Zombie Season because the weather is cooler and I know the weather is cooler because the maggots in the garbage bin magically disappeared. The rash of zombie activity this Summer has inspired me to rewrite my vows — I simply cannot have my husband strip naked and eat my face on the turnpike.

    Give this card to newlyweds or oldyweds:till-undeath

    October 7, 2012
  • Mating Tips

    The only way to find out if you’re truly compatible with another is to spend a year together aboard a Portuguese fishing vessel.

    Unfortunately, that’s not always an option. Don’t spend another minute agonizing!

    Forget the touchy-feely Relationships aisle at Barnes & Noble or (gasp) your local library! Forget the $120/hour couples counselor! Forget mind-reading, unmet expectations, behavior prediction!

    Zeichen Press has created a $4.00 cheat sheet! love-means-green-revisedCollect them all (there’s only one) and store them safely in a polished mahogany box. Tabulated by topics, like: Division-of-Labor, Apology, and so much more!

    *A Mating Tip Card and a BB gun make the perfect wedding gift.

    October 3, 2012
  • Neglected Category

    My retirement plans are needy and demand an Airstream Trailercropped-airstream-trailer

    and a plot of land in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee — as close as possible to Dollywood.

    That would be fine as cream gravy.

    Yes, retirement — everyone does it differently. Some like to join communities in Arizona and some like to hoard cats. Hoard cats until one day they have a stroke, can’t get to the phone, die of starvation, and their beloved pets eat their face.

    But everyone is so different! And as my Grandma Shea used to say, “It takes all kinds.”

    So wise.retiring

    September 26, 2012
  • A Loon Call For Garrison Keillor And Hat Made of Money

    When I heard Jen was participating in the Loon Call Contest at the Prairie Home Companion Street Party, I said a quick prayer to Saint Genesius.

    I can’t believe she didn’t win. 

    Earlier that day, this angel—dressed in plain clothes—was spotted:money-hat

    If I wore a hat made of money, I’d have a faraway look in my eye, too.

    September 22, 2012
  • Eating My Weight In Vegetables

    Did you know that the Arboretum has a pick-your-own vegetable garden? The signs were more intuitive than posted.smuggling-vegetables

    My latest health craze (the last one turned out not to be a “health” craze) promises an upward trajectory of boundless energy and crisply firing synapses. Kale, spinach, green chard, cucumber, celery, lemon, parsley, and apple in one glass.

    In one glass.

    I’ve learned that a bagful of smuggled kale equals one thimbleful of juice.

    One thimbleful.

    I wonder how many ounces I would be if I were juiced. Note to self: Juicing bodies would make them easier to flush down toilet.

    Look at these beautiful Dahlias and forget everything I just said:anenome-dahliasunburt-dahliaWeren’t those lovely?

    All of the flowers and vegetables inspired a Father’s Day card:papa-grayer

    September 14, 2012
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  • MORE LOVE

    Like a chicken, I am cooped up in my house… Day after day after day, longing to be free-range. I busy myself with cat photographyDinah close upand new designs for RSVP. Which will be chosen for Valentine’s Day 2017?? Stay tuned…rsvp.your love.revisedrsvp.sloth thinking

    February 20, 2016
  • Serious Business

    Nothing could come between a girl and her Etch A Sketch in 1981.Fran etch a sketchNOTHING.

    Just look at that tight-lipped concentration… LOOK AT IT.fran concentratingMaybe I was creating a message for my mom? Or a beautiful design? Or a note to my brother begging him to stop slowly poisoning my parakeet and calling me Oot Head.

    WHO KNOWS?

    My Etch A Sketch has been replaced with 10,000 pounds of letterpress equipment, a laptop, and Jen. (Sorry, Jen.)

    Here’s a new Valentine’s Day card… Lead type and an antique cut can barely compare to the magic of my childhood.airbags with chocolates

    February 9, 2016
  • Sugar and Spice

    Sandwiched between Woodworking IIwooden boxand tanning booths at Golden Tan in the Richfield Hub (Um, Off-Campus Study HalI),Fran senior cape cod lighting birthday candleswas a class called Printmaking. linocut puppy 1989*Actual linocut carved while under Sr. Bernardine’s tutelage. 

    Maybe I should thank Sr. Bernardine (‘s grave) for opening my mind to all things print-related?

    Inspired by that lil’ puppy:too cute to weemember.comma

    January 31, 2016
  • Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats

    Oh, wouldn’t I look smart in my new floral, lightly quilted, Guinnea Sax dress and ivory blouse! The thin silk ribbon under my collar tied so prettily… Real leather open-toe sandals with cuffed socks actually MATCH MY BLOUSE… Eleven years old and I just knew I already had the world by the shanks. THE SHANKS. 

    First Picture Day at my new school was going to change everything! Sure, I spend nights in bed carefully drawing miniature Black Stallions in the margin of my diary. And sure, I rarely brushed my stick-straight blonde, center-parted, mom-cut hair. But I was pretty sure I looked like Sissy Spacek, circa 1973.sissy spacek smilingWith backpack securely fastened over both shoulders, I proudly marched through the alley-entrance onto the school playground/parking lot.

    WHAT’S THIS?! The girls/my classmates are wearing Guess Jeans and white t-shirts!guess jeansMy heart sank.

    And they burst out laughing at the very site of me!Fran 5th grade school pictureHOW COULD THEY?! THE AGONY! Thank God my call home from the nurses office only resulted in my mom coaxing me to stay at school long enough to have my picture taken, otherwise there wouldn’t be this evidence. THANK GOD.

    ~Dedicated to the cool kids~boots and cats choir…And someday I’d enact my telekinetic revenge… 

    January 22, 2016
  • Urban Hermitage

    Discovering Instacart might change my life.instacart.IMG_8593These modern services enable my dwindling desire to engage with the outside world.

    IN JANUARY. IN MINNESOTA.

    And why should I leave my house when Millie the Dog is learning to speak Human?

    If only the shop were actually connected to my house.back door to shop.IMG_8614Just look at that commute! Ridiculous.

    Or… inspiring? It must be inspiring because I made this.mozart revised

    January 14, 2016
  • Post-Epiphany -OR- Crime Solving By Proxy

    January has already been SO busy. I don’t know about Jen, but I’ve had to take a really active role as a listener/watcher.

    First this: (Sherlock!)

    sherlock-pipe

    And then this: (Serial Podcast: season 2!)

    serial-soldier

    And now THIS?? (Making A Murderer, brought to you by the good folks at Netflix and Men’s Wearhouse!)

    steven-avery

    It’s a lot to keep track of… I’m taking notes if anyone needs them.

    Don’t ask me how (DON’T ASK ME), but I was able to squeeze in one card:

    we-come-bearing-gifts-2

    January 8, 2016
  • Sort of an Epiphany

    I’m pretty sure it was our Jewish neighbor (and not Santa Claus) who put our presents under the tree when we were at Midnight Mass.

    I got a globe.world events never bothered himBut I barely remember that! I barely remember crying and sulking in my bedroom! Because this was the Lord’s day, not mine!

    Merry Christmastime, everyone!OMG, Balthasar.new

    December 31, 2015
  • All The Attention

    If only they would stop their playing and look over at me… Why is MY friend even playing with my stupid brother???… Maybe if I wave my arms and jump higher on this strangely super-tall bed in our basement… No, that didn’t work… Hold on… I’ll just climb down and drag over that chalkboard to lay flat on the floor because it looks more like water than the off-brown linoleum… Perfect… Now, I’ll roll over the large black, rubber inner-tube we float on at the lake… Just plop it right on top of the chalkboard… Looking good… Ok… NOW, I’ll climb back up on the bed and jump some more…

    “LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!”

    I hysterically scream, while diving face-first into the center of the inner-tube.Steph&Fran&Balance BeamSo much blood. So many tears. And my friend was sent home??? WHY MOM, WHY?!she brought da noise

    December 23, 2015
  • Chuckle.

    December 21, 2015
  • GULP! We Are In The Washington Post??

    Feeling pretty fancy over here because The Washington Post picked up the Religion News Service article! (Is that how it works?? See? TOO fancy for me!)

    But, obviously, not as fancy as Dinah.dinah fancy

    December 16, 2015
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