Zeichen Press – Page 7 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Swine Flu and the Fish Pond

We had a special guest for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! : The Swine Flu�aka:H1N1�That’s just what we needed to shake things up�around here! Oh, and nothing brings a family together like contagious disease. I mean it. I barely notice my kids unless their eyes get glassy and they vomit on my bedroom floor. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, a nosebleed will get my attention -and so will a 2 am phone call from the Edina Police. Oh, kids!

I heard that “scientists” are working on some sort of “immunization” for this particular version of the flu. They can just inject themselves with their magic potion. I’m not standing in line at the Walgreens with a bunch of clammy people. Anyway, I discovered the cure: 100 episodes of Malcom in the Middle�and lots of popsicles. When The Plague finally, and politely, exited our home – I felt that I needed another challenge:

The�Fish Pond at St. Helena’s:

Of course!�Everyone knows what a daredevil I am – I just couldn’t say no to Jen’s (repeated) requests to “volunteer.”� I don’t regret a moment. In fact, I’m pretty sure that my time in Purgatory is reduced by exactly the same amount of hours that I spent in that claustrophobic booth. That’s five hours, God. Should I go on and on about the ROOM & BOARD project I’m working on?�21 down, only 279 to go!�I love you, grayish-brownish-not-quite-taupe-ish-sort-of-smog-ish ink.

September 23, 2009
Would You Rather…?

Vomit blood for a week or have a nail gun misfire so that the nail pierces your eyeball?*

WHICH ONE DO YOU CHOOSE?!

Maybe I’d choose the vomiting… I hear the ICU is like staying in a fancy hotel.�You see? Life is about choices. Or wait… is it about rolling with the punches?�Having your eye sewn shut is worse than getting punched – Maybe life is about getting your nail-pierced-eyeball sewn shut.

Yes. That sounds about right.

��

* These events are true and happened to two men that I know. Both named Ben.

September 7, 2009
Psycho Suzie’s and the Fu Manchu

I can’t wait to turn 40.

Jen did it and she got a Fu Manchu AND pickles. It was a very special evening – one she will never remember.

See how the Fu Manchu put her under his spell? Isn’t he cunning? Poor Jen, she never had a chance.

September 3, 2009
Best In Show

I was always jealous of those farm kids at the State Fair. Barefoot and confident, covered in dust � their coveralls did indeed coverall, catching every drip of ice cream, every drop of grease. I imagined that they slept right on the hay bales that penned off their milking goats – what a life!

Their blue-ribbon proudly pinned for all the Fair-Goers to see.�And�The City Kids lined up to milk�their�goats!�Why can’t I have a goat? Why can’t I run around the fair barefoot � ringworm be damned!�

I guess�that DIY story�is coming together � one of the writers called me on my telephone… I kept telling her everything was “off the record” – she seemed confused. I can’t just open myself up to the public.� They did ask me to create Headlines for the other “Best In Show” categories. I wanted to do them in macaroni but they reminded me that I own a design and�letterpress�studio – not a design and macaroni�studio. Now I feel like a missed the boat on that concept.

Here are some of the headlines they asked for:

Oh, they also wanted some blue ribbons:

August 15, 2009
Sankyou Panko Japanese Style Breading (box)

“How can we be expected to teach children to read when they can’t even fit inside the building?”-Derek Zoolander

It turns out that Panko Japanese Style�Breading boxes are the perfect size for my Press (kit) Boxes! It’s true. Now my family will enjoy breaded EVERYTHING for the next two weeks.

Breaded meat, breaded not-meat, breaded bread… YUMMY. � �

The boxes have been turned inside-out, printed on, and stuffed with a variety of cards. I might sprinkle extra breading in for packing… We’ll see. I’d say that I’m sending them to my favorite magazines but that’s not entirely true.

Bass Master, Muslim Girl, and Quick Quilts didn’t make the cut.

Who did?

Oprah and Martha. And others. I think Oprah and Martha should combine forces, the masses would kneel before them.

August 12, 2009
Chanukah and the Beach

Back on the Cape (Cod) again. I spent a restless night out in the barn. Maybe it was the vinyl covered futon OR my teenager’s shenanigans OR the twin mosquitos that took turns attacking me. I just don’t know – I just don’t know why my uncomfortable evening produced this:

(Inside: God bless you.)

August 6, 2009

Oh, YOU again.

I’m not sure if he was gently�curb-stomped, or he bit into a fresh apple. Either way, he lost his front teeth.

October 8, 2015
Stamp-Lickin’ So You Don’t Have To

Do you fantasize about a service that would lick your stamps (and mail awesome cards to a list of people in your address book)??

YOU DO??

Have you heard of�Postable??

Did I mention that there are Zeichen Press cards in their line?? (NOT letterpress printed, BUT STILL.)Now there really is zero excuse to NOT send a card IN THE MAIL.

*Stay tuned:�Postable�will be adding MORE Zeichen Press cards this week.*

WAIT, I didn’t mention the most important part:

September 28, 2015
Groucho Marx + Turkey = FUNNY

Hoohoo!�I’m laughing already!

More for�RSVP:

September 19, 2015
WOOT.

Does Jen hate letterpress printing SO much that I have to create and license all of the art and farm it off to art licensing companies??

Maybe.

The latest for�RSVP:I know one thing for sure. ONE THING. Jen would�really�hate to print these multi-colored designs. She makes me live in a monochromatic world.�But see how I defy??�FIVE colors??

FIVE.

And now they want more cards! FINE.I’m such a rebel.

September 12, 2015
So NOT Letterpress

Tanek�demanded�a new website, and who am I to argue??�I just do what I’m told.

I designed/art directed it and the good folks at�Carney, made my wishes their command.Observe the fancy bells and whistles!

Rollovers… PDF Downloads… Video Portraits…

And observe what you WON’T observe: My own, personal,�Content Management System.It’s okay to cry. It’s beautiful.

September 7, 2015
Tradition Dictates So I Don’t Have To!

Did I even see Jen on her birthday last week??

Hmm, I don’t think so… But I still made her a card because my love for her just bubbles over and soils the stovetop with a sort of gravy that becomes crusty and has to be scraped off months later with steel wool and maybe a knife.

Whew!

That’s a lot of love!GET IT?!?! CAT-SUP???

Omg, it just doesn’t stop over here!

August 30, 2015
Put a Cat On It

Do you need to sell something? You do??

PUT A CAT ON IT.That sweatshirt is not to be worn ironically and can be yours for a mere $65.

But really, it’s not even realistic. What sort of galaxy is full of white kittens and multi-colored roses??

And where’s the wine and unicorn??

All of those adorable kittens in space DID inspire a graduation card. Don’t ask me why. DON’T ASK ME.

August 23, 2015
What’s A Gal Gotta Do??

Oh, *I* know!

No problem.

August 13, 2015
BE A WOMAN

Don’t tell Blockbuster Video, but I still have a VHS copy of�Alive�in my attic.�I just love survival dramas.�*I*�survived the heat last week, it was pretty dramatic… But I ate no one, despite feeling very�hungry. To celebrate, the Intern and I set some type.AND THEN I wrote/designed more cards for�RSVP, deadline is TOMORROW.�No big deal. Chosen card(s) just go into the Major Supermarkets.

August 2, 2015
ART Licensing

ART, I say!

ART!

RSVP�asked me for some new�art,�SPECIFICALLY for 16th birthdays, BUT stay away from the subject of driving?

Um, ok.

How about the subject of dog poop?I KNOW this is a derivative of MY OWN card.AND a card I made for ANOTHER Art Licensor.�Recycled Paper Greetings.

They also asked for some Wedding Cards… Maybe I’ll say something about flatulence, MAYBE I WON’T.

July 24, 2015