Zeichen Press – Page 7 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Teaching strange children

As we pulled up in the parking lot to our Pre-School Speaking Engagement, Jen reminded me not to swear in front of the children. I told her I would do my best but I wouldn’t make any promises and that sometimes I need to use strong language to really make my point… sometimes I need to use strong language when children REFUSE TO BEHAVE.

I’m kidding. I told Jen to stick it in a hole. She’s not the boss of me. Then she slapped me good and hard. I can’t say that I blame her.

It took a few minutes for the kids to warm up to me. My costume might have confused them. Anyway, I brought a chase locked up with wood type and set it on the floor.

When I was a kid, I saw a kid throw another kid’s shoe into the Primate Den at The Como Zoo. The monkeys approached cautiously but before long they were all over that shoe. They wanted that shoe. I was fascinated. But then I was distracted because of�another�kid. A�mischievous boy who met his match�while trying to climb over a spike-tipped, wrought-iron fence.

I love the zoo.

January 29, 2009
Voodoo

What in the ding-dang are these city-folk up to now??!! Putting pins in good folks and charging money for it?! I got myself some thumbtacks and I can put ’em anywhere you damn well please and charge you half ‘n what these quacks are taking. You mark my words, next there’s gonna be all kinds of potions and maybe even some of that herb smoking. I got news for you:

This ain’t California.

We like our doctors wearing stethoscopes and blue pants. We like our doctors to give us shots when we don’t feel good. We like being sent to the pharmacist. WE LIKE IT.

Oh, flibbity flam. I’ve got some noodlin’ to do. Have a look at some of Fran’s “work” for Performance Acupuncture.
Logos… What the?

January 23, 2009
The calm before the sh*t storm

One of my stalkers used to say, “I’ve gottalotta things in the hopper. A lot. In the hopper.” I often wondered if one of those things in the hopper was making a skin suit out of me. But I never asked – I love surprises. He once chased me on roller skates. I wasn’t even scared. Now, the cab-driver… the stalking cab-driver, he was a little scary. Although… he’d drive by an Old Country Buffet and�was so high he’d often forget he was stalking me. He just couldn’t resist the chicken-fried-chicken.�

But enough of these bedtime stories!

WE’VE got a lot of things in the hopper: A Logo, Oscar-luncheon-gift-bag-goodies, a show at a gallery, a speaking engagement in front of pre-schoolers, a bat mitzvah invitation, more stupid catalogs. I’m nervous about the speaking engagement. If I make eye-contact with any one of those children they’ll own me. The last thing I need is a room full of kids throwing lead type at my head.

In preparation for the upcoming events I decided that someone should clean our little shop of horrors. Someone did. Isn’t it cute? *Note the framed photo of Kelly Clarkson next to the hanging hammer.

January 22, 2009
Won’t you be my neighbor?

Hot Plate‘s�Mexican Omelette was again sending me messages. Who am I to ignore them? I just do what I’m told.

Exhausted from an earlier outing, I had my husband drive our team of horses. I was cozy warm because I stuffed hot potatoes in my pants.

While I devoured my second Mexican Omelette of the week I chatted with owner, Carrie Lewis. She told me a tale. A tale that reminded me of how dark the soul can be… a tale of the flawed nature of humanity. I openly wept as she about her passive aggressive neighbors. And, as I sipped my 9th delicious latte, I formulated a plan: I would counter the negativity directed at�The Best Restaurant on the South Side�by channeling the Prince of Peace, Mr. Rogers.

Who better to handle bad neighborhood karma than him? I can think of no one. I have created this card and will be making a plate asap. Reserve one (or five) today because they will be selling faster than Hot Plate’s pumpkin pancakes.

January 19, 2009
May my suffering bring you joy

Only my fellow Minnesotans and residents of�Chicken, Alaska�can truly understand what it means to be cold. I am intrigued by deadly weather. Cold that can freeze a limb solid. Cold that flattens your car tires. Cold that makes your eyeballs feel funny. I braved the extreme cold today.

Twice.

-21� is COLD. But a Mexican Omelette was whispering my name with such longing… I put on every bit of clothing I own and headed outside. The car actually told me to F – Off. I reminded it that we were both in this together and that if it cooperated I would fill it up with Premium Gasoline. Foolish car, choosing gasoline over Mexican Omelette!

When I was safely inside of�Hot Plate�I laughed… Oh, how I laughed – and saluted the outdoors for being a worthy adversary. Later that day (that SAME day) I went outside again. I actually ran to the studio. It took 1.5 seconds. Luckily my exposed body part (my bottom) was unharmed.

Where was I? Oh, yes. I risked my limbs (and bottom) to run to the studio and lay out previously written cards. Three birthday cards. The metal type was awfully cold. I wanted to lick it but I exercised restraint.

January 16, 2009
Back in the shop

The low magenta toner has put a hold on the catalog production. I am really, really upset about it. I’d like to spend more time with the new laser printer. Understanding its quirks, its likes and dislikes. What makes it get out of bed every morning? Does it enjoy being my slave? Don’t worry, Brother HL-4070CDW – this is only temporary. Jen paid the extra $3.99 for shipping and your toner will be here Wednesday. Thank you, Jen. I mean it.�

So I spent the day in the shop. Despite my tears I was able to lay out some previously written cards. I think the anguish really comes through. I am, after all, an artist. My soul is appropriately tortured. Whoa is me.

January 12, 2009

Oh, YOU again.

I’m not sure if he was gently�curb-stomped, or he bit into a fresh apple. Either way, he lost his front teeth.

October 8, 2015
Stamp-Lickin’ So You Don’t Have To

Do you fantasize about a service that would lick your stamps (and mail awesome cards to a list of people in your address book)??

YOU DO??

Have you heard of�Postable??

Did I mention that there are Zeichen Press cards in their line?? (NOT letterpress printed, BUT STILL.)Now there really is zero excuse to NOT send a card IN THE MAIL.

*Stay tuned:�Postable�will be adding MORE Zeichen Press cards this week.*

WAIT, I didn’t mention the most important part:

September 28, 2015
Groucho Marx + Turkey = FUNNY

Hoohoo!�I’m laughing already!

More for�RSVP:

September 19, 2015
WOOT.

Does Jen hate letterpress printing SO much that I have to create and license all of the art and farm it off to art licensing companies??

Maybe.

The latest for�RSVP:I know one thing for sure. ONE THING. Jen would�really�hate to print these multi-colored designs. She makes me live in a monochromatic world.�But see how I defy??�FIVE colors??

FIVE.

And now they want more cards! FINE.I’m such a rebel.

September 12, 2015
So NOT Letterpress

Tanek�demanded�a new website, and who am I to argue??�I just do what I’m told.

I designed/art directed it and the good folks at�Carney, made my wishes their command.Observe the fancy bells and whistles!

Rollovers… PDF Downloads… Video Portraits…

And observe what you WON’T observe: My own, personal,�Content Management System.It’s okay to cry. It’s beautiful.

September 7, 2015
Tradition Dictates So I Don’t Have To!

Did I even see Jen on her birthday last week??

Hmm, I don’t think so… But I still made her a card because my love for her just bubbles over and soils the stovetop with a sort of gravy that becomes crusty and has to be scraped off months later with steel wool and maybe a knife.

Whew!

That’s a lot of love!GET IT?!?! CAT-SUP???

Omg, it just doesn’t stop over here!

August 30, 2015
Put a Cat On It

Do you need to sell something? You do??

PUT A CAT ON IT.That sweatshirt is not to be worn ironically and can be yours for a mere $65.

But really, it’s not even realistic. What sort of galaxy is full of white kittens and multi-colored roses??

And where’s the wine and unicorn??

All of those adorable kittens in space DID inspire a graduation card. Don’t ask me why. DON’T ASK ME.

August 23, 2015
What’s A Gal Gotta Do??

Oh, *I* know!

No problem.

August 13, 2015
BE A WOMAN

Don’t tell Blockbuster Video, but I still have a VHS copy of�Alive�in my attic.�I just love survival dramas.�*I*�survived the heat last week, it was pretty dramatic… But I ate no one, despite feeling very�hungry. To celebrate, the Intern and I set some type.AND THEN I wrote/designed more cards for�RSVP, deadline is TOMORROW.�No big deal. Chosen card(s) just go into the Major Supermarkets.

August 2, 2015
ART Licensing

ART, I say!

ART!

RSVP�asked me for some new�art,�SPECIFICALLY for 16th birthdays, BUT stay away from the subject of driving?

Um, ok.

How about the subject of dog poop?I KNOW this is a derivative of MY OWN card.AND a card I made for ANOTHER Art Licensor.�Recycled Paper Greetings.

They also asked for some Wedding Cards… Maybe I’ll say something about flatulence, MAYBE I WON’T.

July 24, 2015