Zeichen Press – Page 7 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Where’s my unpaid intern?

WHERE??? If I have to work on this�catalog layout for�10 more seconds I’m going to quit my job. I will instantly rehire myself just so I can quit again. This could go on for days. Of COURSE I couldn’t just work with the catalog copy �in Adobe InDesign – I HAD to use a WWII era typewriter. A Smith-Corona Skyriter to type in each individual bit of information about all 100 products.�What is wrong with me?

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I actually�cheated�in “keyboarding I AND II” in high school. Don’t ask me how. DON’T ASK ME.�

Jen is just dying to say, “I told you so.” Just shut up, Jen. Why must �you take the place of my underdeveloped sensibilities?

January 8, 2009
Waist-deep snow

Day Two. ��Snow fell through the night and drifted into the passage. The women and children are weaker today. Kenneth is ailing and must be dragged on a make-shift sledge. Robert appears to be delusional and only can speak of thick-cut bacon and death metal. The dogs are starting to look delicious, especially the fluffy one. We are, most certainly, in a predicament.

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Um, here’s a new card – inspired by the men, women, and children that ventured West .

The Donner (Birthday) Party

January 4, 2009
I’ll tell you what

Uh. December is, like, over. I don’t even care. Good riddance you ungrateful pig. You think you’re so great with your Christmas and your Hanukkah and your Britney Spears’ birthday. I’ve had it. I think we all have. Even with all of these Feast Days I managed to squeeze in our long-awaited catalog creation. And don’t think I forgot about my�25-birthday-cards. Self-imposed deadlines are the only way to get anything done. You know what else works? Pretending someone is going to kill you if you don’t get something done. SO, I scrounged up some images and wrote some lines. Yeah, yeah – I’ve not set the type or done layouts or pulled any proofs – mere formalities. And anyway, my shop elves will do it while I’m ringing in the New Year in lovely Brainerd, Minnesota. Here are a few images/lines – they’ll be 15% funnier after I’ve had my way with them. And another thing: they’re not all birthday cards. I’m not some sort of one-trick pony.

You make this, you live.

Good luck.

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Shhhh. Nobody’ll even notice us.

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Eh? What’s that? Whose birthday? Who are you? Get out of my room.

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��Happy Birthday, you tool.

…and in conclusion – quit calling me a pussy.

Sincerely,

Pevenshire Wiffynuts

x=get me the f*ck out of here.

Congratulations.

I said, CONGRATULATIONS!

If you’re old enough to remember this game
you are probably sitting in your own urine.

Thanks for coming to my birthday party, my tiny friends.

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Alright, that’ll do. I’ll post more after the elves work it out. Oh, and if you see a woman running around Brainerd in giant underpants and Sorel Boots it’s not me. Happy New Year!!!

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December 31, 2008
No-Coast and a stock pot

Good Lord, what a day! I got up at the crack o’ eight – Jen picked me up and brought me to the MidTown Market to hawk our goods. It was the No-Coast Craft-o-Rama! We were pretty much SiameseTwins – due to my crippling Math Anxiety, I can’t be left alone to make change for a twenty. I welcome your prayers. I smiled lots and said, “four�dollars” or “five�dollars” whenever I felt like it. Sometimes it was in response to a customer’s question. Here are some customers: notice their intense cheerfulness:

I did manage to step away from our table to find a crinkly cat bag for My Mother-in-Law. She’s gonna frickin’ love it. Those cats are gonna thank me by walking by me and not noticing I exist. It’ll be one awesome Christmas.

…Fast forward, like, eight hours and I found myself at a delightful Holiday Party. I think it was in Plymouth. Anyway, the halls were decked, the booze was flowing. The booze was flowing. In retrospect, I don’t think it all wanted to be in�my�body. I’m not sure why, at the time, I thought it did want to be in there. And honestly, there wasn’t a lot of �room, what with all the�spanakopita�. I was planning on giving it all up in a stock pot that Katie generously donated to the car. I felt the love. I did make it home, with a clean stock pot, and Kenny dumped me into bed. He was like a hunter and I was like a deer carcass. The bed was the pick-up truck. It was so much fun. I dragged my sorry arse out of bed this morning to for churching. The stock pot is a symbol of one woman’s redemption. So much can happen in a day.

PS: Did you know that 80’s glasses are back in style?? You crazy kids!

December 7, 2008
SO. MANY. WORDS.

Three 10″x15″ iron chases locked up with�Touchpoint�Buzzwords. Buzzwords and some other random cuts from the ZP collection – including a chunk from a newspaper insert advertising handy items for the ladies: A rubber-lined shopping bag available in gay plaids, a multi-tiered clothes hanger, a cap to protect the hairdo. What I wouldn’t give to have those items. My drab, rain-soaked groceries… My closet, crammed full! How could I be hanging my clothes on ONE plane? My hair, My God, my hair… I don’t even know where to start. I get a “do” and leave it�completely�unprotected. It’s like I don’t even care! Oh. Back to the Touchpoint Holiday Card/Disc Sleeve. It’s super sweet:

December 3, 2008
SO. MANY. WORDS.

�Three 10″x15″ iron chases locked up with Touchpoint Buzzwords. Buzzwords and some other random cuts from the ZP collection – including a chunk from a newspaper insert advertising handy items for the ladies: A rubber-lined shopping bag available in gay plaids, a multi-tiered clothes hanger, a cap to protect the hairdo.

What I wouldn’t give to have those items. My drab, rain-soaked groceries… My closet, crammed full! How could I be hanging my clothes on ONE plane? My hair, My God, my hair… I don’t even know where to start. I get a “do” and leave it completely unprotected. It’s like I don’t even care!

Oh. Back to the Touchpoint Holiday Card/Disc Sleeve. It’ super sweet:

Touchpoint Cd Sleeve

Touchpoint Cd Sleeve

Touchpoint Cd Sleeve

Touchpoint Cd Sleeve

December 3, 2008

Oh, YOU again.

I’m not sure if he was gently�curb-stomped, or he bit into a fresh apple. Either way, he lost his front teeth.

October 8, 2015
Stamp-Lickin’ So You Don’t Have To

Do you fantasize about a service that would lick your stamps (and mail awesome cards to a list of people in your address book)??

YOU DO??

Have you heard of�Postable??

Did I mention that there are Zeichen Press cards in their line?? (NOT letterpress printed, BUT STILL.)Now there really is zero excuse to NOT send a card IN THE MAIL.

*Stay tuned:�Postable�will be adding MORE Zeichen Press cards this week.*

WAIT, I didn’t mention the most important part:

September 28, 2015
Groucho Marx + Turkey = FUNNY

Hoohoo!�I’m laughing already!

More for�RSVP:

September 19, 2015
WOOT.

Does Jen hate letterpress printing SO much that I have to create and license all of the art and farm it off to art licensing companies??

Maybe.

The latest for�RSVP:I know one thing for sure. ONE THING. Jen would�really�hate to print these multi-colored designs. She makes me live in a monochromatic world.�But see how I defy??�FIVE colors??

FIVE.

And now they want more cards! FINE.I’m such a rebel.

September 12, 2015
So NOT Letterpress

Tanek�demanded�a new website, and who am I to argue??�I just do what I’m told.

I designed/art directed it and the good folks at�Carney, made my wishes their command.Observe the fancy bells and whistles!

Rollovers… PDF Downloads… Video Portraits…

And observe what you WON’T observe: My own, personal,�Content Management System.It’s okay to cry. It’s beautiful.

September 7, 2015
Tradition Dictates So I Don’t Have To!

Did I even see Jen on her birthday last week??

Hmm, I don’t think so… But I still made her a card because my love for her just bubbles over and soils the stovetop with a sort of gravy that becomes crusty and has to be scraped off months later with steel wool and maybe a knife.

Whew!

That’s a lot of love!GET IT?!?! CAT-SUP???

Omg, it just doesn’t stop over here!

August 30, 2015
Put a Cat On It

Do you need to sell something? You do??

PUT A CAT ON IT.That sweatshirt is not to be worn ironically and can be yours for a mere $65.

But really, it’s not even realistic. What sort of galaxy is full of white kittens and multi-colored roses??

And where’s the wine and unicorn??

All of those adorable kittens in space DID inspire a graduation card. Don’t ask me why. DON’T ASK ME.

August 23, 2015
What’s A Gal Gotta Do??

Oh, *I* know!

No problem.

August 13, 2015
BE A WOMAN

Don’t tell Blockbuster Video, but I still have a VHS copy of�Alive�in my attic.�I just love survival dramas.�*I*�survived the heat last week, it was pretty dramatic… But I ate no one, despite feeling very�hungry. To celebrate, the Intern and I set some type.AND THEN I wrote/designed more cards for�RSVP, deadline is TOMORROW.�No big deal. Chosen card(s) just go into the Major Supermarkets.

August 2, 2015
ART Licensing

ART, I say!

ART!

RSVP�asked me for some new�art,�SPECIFICALLY for 16th birthdays, BUT stay away from the subject of driving?

Um, ok.

How about the subject of dog poop?I KNOW this is a derivative of MY OWN card.AND a card I made for ANOTHER Art Licensor.�Recycled Paper Greetings.

They also asked for some Wedding Cards… Maybe I’ll say something about flatulence, MAYBE I WON’T.

July 24, 2015