• How To Catch A Fish (Sort Of)

    By age nine, I would delicately,

    with my right hand, fold down the sharp fins of a Sunfish.

    Why? 

    So I could use my left hand to insert the rusty pliars into the gasping mouth of my catch to retrieve the swallowed hook.

    If I was lucky.

    If I wasn’t lucky, I’d stare at my motionless bobber for hours.

    *Some backstory: My older brother (third of eight) allowed me to fish with him if I did whatever he said, and didn’t cry. He was SERIOUS about fishing. I had glasses and greasy blonde hair.

    **Some backstory about the backstory: My brother was born in September, and I was already a sprouted seed in our Mom’s belly by the next Summer.

    I think I’ve used the bobber-watching metaphor before, but it is APT. Everyday, I wait for my agent to tell me to get the rusty pliars.

    Why doesn’t he ever tell me to get the rusty pliars??

    He just tells me to “hang in there.”hang-in-thereOh, back to my Mom… She has 22 grandkids. This is her with the latest:mom-and-theoHAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

    May 9, 2014
  • Spring Cleansing and Fumigation

    I’ve heard that we are only prescribed challenges tailored to fit our deficiencies. I don’t really have any deficiencies so I’ve just been row-row-rowing my boat, gently down the stream.

    But poor Jen spent the week hunting for bedbugs (that’s what she gets for going to Turkey) that turned out to be fleas. not-a-bedbug

    It took six flea-bombs and one hijab to properly fumigate.jen-w-botox-and-hijab-new-henry-dunceDoesn’t Henry look ashamed?

    Doesn’t Jen’s forehead look youthful?? I photoshop-botoxed it! AND saved her $200.

    She’ll thank me later.

    While she was busy meeting her prescribed challenge (I pray that she learned her lesson), *I* was busy nobly accepting rejections for The Book.sample-booksEight rejections so far… twelve still unresponsive. But don’t worry about me, I LOVE waiting, and see rejection as an opportunity to grow as a person.

    SPEAKING OF MOTHER’S DAY, here’s a new card:dont-worry-mom

    May 3, 2014
  • Rage-Filled Kitten Eats Dead Master’s Face

    Is that a true story??even-birthdays-filled-her-with-rageThey wouldn’t print it if it wasn’t true.

    Sally Struthers says that for about four dollars, you can buy a Starbucks Caffé Latte Venti… In the Zeichen Press Shop, for just four dollars a day, you can bring laughter to someone who may or may not have been laughing. 

    The choice is yours.

    NOW, visit the shop to see our new release for Spring! You can buy the rage-filled kitten, the generous old woman,

    nobody-else-got-me-one-of-these

    my kind of tea party,

    I take my tea in a wine glass filled with wine. Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.

    and so much more!

    April 27, 2014
  • Farewell, Old Cards

    Jen made me pull six cards from our line.

    APPARENTLY, “they don’t sell” and don’t “make any money”.

    But since when can you put a price tag on greeting cards??

    Here are the cards, you can buy them from the shop until they are gone forever.

    FOREVER.torturegame-of-telephone-1screwedtired-of-feeling-tightnice-balldial-bThis card was also on the list, but I refused to pull it because I’m not afraid of her.thank-god-we-have-these

    April 18, 2014
  • The Answer to Life the Universe and Everything

    I turned 42 (wtf?) yesterday, received 18 drinking glasses, a scallop taco from Sea Salt, and this:opti-goblinsBUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I sent 20 little book samples to my agent…sample-booksSo now he can go pitch them to 20 publishers.

    I imagine his conversations go something like this:

    Peter: Here’s a new little adult picture book by Fran Shea, owner of Zeichen Press in Minneapolis, maker of cards for people that like laughing.

    Publisher Person: Let me put my eyeballs back in my sockets and write you a check for $1,000,000.

    Peter: Very good.

    END SCENE.

    Oh, I also made a new Easter card. Don’t send me hate email like you did for my zombie Easter card. Jesus loves me, this I know for the bible tells me so.damn-jesus-punked-us-so-good

    April 13, 2014
  • Behind the Gate AND a New Book Title

    Jen’s back!

    Thank God.

    She said she “missed ZP soooo much!”

    ZP missed her too! To show her just how much, this rabbit (mascot) sacrificed and froze himself to the ground right in front of the gate she walks through to enter the ZP Headquarters.dead-rabbit-and-garbageALSO, I wrote/designed a new cover for my book… Kara is busily drawing pictures while I bark directions at her. I’m sure she’s already made a voodoo doll of me.

    I don’t blame her a bit.house-trained-cover-revised

    April 1, 2014
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  • Notorious B.I.G.

    Madge The Intern and I wore our Burger King© crowns and spent the day printing.*Notorious B.I.GDoes Madge look different??

    So serious.

    Zeichen Press was invited to join other Notorious Letterpress Printers and contribute to The Smallest Museum In St. Paul. Don’t pretend you’ve never thought about turning an empty firehose cabinet into a tiny museum.littlest musuem firehose cabinetAction shots:IMG_6839

    IMG_6850I was pretending to be a mouse with a camera — I think Madge was scared/intrigued.

    The (petite) Opening Reception is August 1, from 2-4 at Workhouse Coffee Bar.

    July 16, 2015
  • Gin & Tonic & Optimism

    I’ve observed the greedy, groping limbs of an Octopus on television.

    I SEE YOU, OCTOPUS.

    I SEE YOUR SELF-INDULGENT, FLESH-LIKE, SUCTION-COVERED BOUGHS, BUMPING ALONG THE OCEAN FLOOR.birthday cake octopusSea Creatures are on my mind because I’m back in Barnstable. 29 freezer road door.IMG_6598Ah, Barnstable. How is it possible for the sunsets to always fill me with awe, the hammock to always fill me with peace, and people to always fill my belly with booze on the deck overlooking the Great Salt Marsh?deck marsh chair.IMG_6670IT’S A TOUGH LIFE.

    July 4, 2015
  • A Thank You Card From Fran Shea’s Cat Ranch

    Oh, BOTHER!

    One more kitten needs adopting.

    AND how about this card?

    BECAUSE ALL I EVER THINK ABOUT IS CATS.

    Help. Me.never said thank you.cat

    June 24, 2015
  • Oh, how do you say… letterpress?

    Kids (like mine) graduated last week,HeGradhouses were open, cards (stuffed with money) were given… And I realized, THESE KIDS NEED THANK YOU CARDS.

    And always the giver, I made this:mare see bow coo.2I forced my son to read this handy blog post about proper thank you note writing.

    You’re welcome.

    June 10, 2015
  • NEW CARDS!!!

    LAUGHING THROUGH OUR TEARSHEAVEN IS A GARBAGEWE HAVE NEW CARDS!

    TWELVE OF THEM!

    Meat suits,

    tuna-filled mice,

    hungry wolves.

    AND SO MUCH MORE!

    Have a look!

    June 3, 2015
  • Letterpress For The People

    Tib mouthed these words while she nursed her latest brood:

    To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,

    Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

    To the last syllable of recorded time;

    And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

    The way to dusty death.

    Out, out, brief candle!

    Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,

    That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

    And then is heard no more.

    It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

    Signifying nothing.tib stoicDo you see what I’m working with here??

    She just gives and gives AND GIVES.

    Ah, suckle away…IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

    May 20, 2015
  • NO SOLICITORS + boing boing

    But, what IS boing boing??

    JUST AN AWARD-WINNING ZINE, BLOG AND DIRECTORY OF WONDERFUL THINGS.

    And a mention from them made me almost choke to death on my pb&j.gareth door bacon(That’s Gareth‘s door. And peephole.)That's better.BRANWYN
    Need your own card?? BUY HERE!!!

    May 13, 2015
  • We want to be more than just friends with: Treehaus

    Treehaus -> 3153 Glendale Blvd. LA, CA 90039

    ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

    AM I BIASED because Meesh (SP?!) said I was her favorite person?? TREEHAUS IS THE BEST SHOP EVER CREATED. There. I said it. What’s done is done. She has spoken.

    I will visit you Treehaus… someday… And on that day, people’s hearts will be filled with gladness and their mouths will proclaim the goodness of all things boutique.

     

    May 12, 2015
  • A SPECIAL DAY

    My cards express all of the feelings for Mother’s Day.

    Done.silly old daychronic condition.2DearMaeating her youngsometimes I cry.use it.2Once upon a timemomb you are the bombmother let us not dwell

    May 10, 2015
  • Keep On The Sunny Side

    The weather is (finally) nice and that means the shop is open!GARAGE OPEN DOOR spring 2015Like, LITERALLY, open.

    I observed Jen scurrying about (just like the mice we had to poison last year) while I took photos of The New Cards. Here’s a teaser:clean.success failures

    April 30, 2015
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