Zeichen Press – Page 9 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Hello, my name is

Remember when�I talked about my naming skills?�No?�That’s okay, I barely remember it myself.�Anyway,�I did a project with�The Carney Group�- I named a product that debuted at the�2011 MacWorld Expo�to much adulation. Wait, that’s a pretty strong word. To much�curiosity.�They made the Top 3 Happening Booths but I think that had more to do with the bearded�CodeWeavers�COO dressing as Cher (I think that’s Cher?? Yucky!)

than the name I chose for the product – which was, by the way:�Impersonator. See, it’s software that let’s your Mac run Windows apps without running Windows.

So brilliant.

David Pogue of the�New York Times�called it “hilarious” and one of the most creative pitches he’d seen all year.

I wonder if he meant�last year�because otherwise it would just be one of the most creative pitches he’d seen in January. I also wonder if he meant it was one of the most�disturbing�pitches he’d seen.

I wrote a lot of funny lines and made some cool logos

BUT all of my creative was for naught.

For naught.

They wrote their own lines and made their own logo. That’s cool. I don’t even care. I don’t. I totally let it go. Totally. I’m fine. Oh, here’s a little video�I made (rejected by them – which I’m totally fine with. I am. I’m fine. It’s cool. Whatever. It doesn’t even bother me.) to go with the name.�Close the blinds and turn on the projector, here’s IMPERSONATOR:

January 31, 2011
Working in the Bathtub

I love the ladies of the�Jelly Shot Test Kitchen. And when I say I�love�them it means I�love�that they trust us. Trust us to create business cards�of the future.�We’re not sure how lasers work but we all saw Superman II.

These days, lasers are used for more than just pulverizing concrete. And I can prove it:

The latest project for JSTK has nothing to do with lasers. Or letterpress -�don’t they know we do LETTERPRESS??��They asked us to create some instructional films.

Naturally, I cleaned my bathtub and got to work:

Here’s what I made:

January 9, 2011
Goodbye 2010

2010 has a short driveway and as we backed down it we (I) felt wistful. It seems like only last year we were�freezing in Brainerd. Here we are again, eating thick-cut bacon and praying for the strength to survive round after round of Name That Tune. I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions because the prisons are overcrowded as it is and also because the world isn’t ready for my style of leadership. (Deer-in-the-headlights.)

This was a big year for Zeichen Press – and as I sit in my Fiberglass Insulated Cell, I feel gratitude. I also feel greasy from all of the bacon, but like the sparrow, I will take a sand-bath to freshen up when the time is right. A new website,�a fleet of reps,�prints in Room & Board, the dog’s wig:

Who wouldn’t be grateful? I believe Jen and I are coming up on The Five Year Anniversary of Our Zeichen Press Partnership – we will celebrate by not murdering each other in cold blood.

Don’t worry, we’ll send out Save-The-Date cards.

January 1, 2011
Magic Birthday

Aunt Clare –>

In other words, it’s her�Magic Birthday! �The�Orange Five print was created especially for her:

It’s pretty tasty and she may try to lick the ink but I can’t be responsible for that. Just like I can’t be responsible for anything I did from 1985 – 1995.

December 29, 2010
Are we there yet?

Christmas is just around the corner and that can only mean one (or more) thing(s): The shop is closed and the kitchen is open.

ALSO, it means that the children and animals are underfoot (more than usual) because of the 5 foot snowdrifts blocking the exits.

But don’t worry if you haven’t sent (or bought) your Christmas cards, yet! We (Jen and I, mostly Jen) are here to hold your hand straight through this blustery season! Did you know that (legally) you can send “Christmas” cards until January 6? THAT, is the official end of the Christmas Season because that’s when the Wise Men hauled it to the manger.

*Playmobile dramatization.

I used to mark the end of the Christmas Season by my son’s birthday (February 7). That day meant it was time to shove the Christmas tree out the second story window before the arrival of the birthday party guests.�Now�the tree stays until it becomes a fire hazard, and not a moment longer.�So responsible!

So, speaking of an Epiphany: Don’t waste another minute reading this scatology! Go and buy some�Seasonal Cards!

December 22, 2010
Snow on Snow on Snow

Ummmmmmmmmm… it’s, like, snowing.

We tried to venture out in it today but then we saw this:

And this:

That’s a snow plow in a ditch on the side of the highway.

Now we’re doing our Christmas shopping sans danger from our�computer�-�you can too!

December 11, 2010

Vultures and Wood Type and Birthdays

I won’t even speak of the weather BECAUSE IT’S UNSPEAKABLE.

You can’t break me,�Weather.

You’ll never break me.

Everyone knows that the only cure for the cold is wood type. And alcohol.�

Jen and I have been having a debate about the next birthday card. And by debate, I mean she is, like, “I don’t care.” Doesn’t she know the dangers of�Not Caring??

ANYWAY, here’s the card. BTW, that’s a vulture, waiting for you to die.

April 22, 2015
Merry Franmas!

Whew!�This birthday was a doozy!

Yes, we played 221B Baker Street.YES,�we ate ham & swiss sandwiches.

Here’s a new birthday card…�that girl and pig look familiar…

April 13, 2015
Garbage Uncovered In the Backyard and Other Signs of Spring

Oh,�another�Spring is here!

Should I have photographically documented the first card printed for our Spring Release?

Probably.

But I was pretty busy having a Nurse Jackie marathon.

I DID write/design these:See how I give and give and give??

April 7, 2015
Childhood/Parenthood

Growing up one block South of Lake Calhoun in the 1970’s meant two things:

1) Over-charging for watered-down Kool-Aid on the boulevard

2) Wearing a neighbor’s pilly-bottomed blue leotard for a swimsuitLike little ducklings, we’d follow�my mom down the block for a day at Thomas Beach; she’d stand ankle-deep in the water, hands on hips, plotting. And staring at the only skyscraper in the Minneapolis skyline.

March 28, 2015
Out Like An Impolite Lamb

Just when I thought it was safe to burn my foot-shaped Smartwool socks, Spring decided to retreat.At least I have feet.

Am I right?? Although, I’d be grateful for stump-shaped Smartwool socks.

I WOULD.

Here’s a card:Oh, and Jen and I chose the cards for The Spring Release!

March 21, 2015
Selling Out

WHAT??

Who am I to deprive the masses of their Zeichen Press cards??

Zeichen Press “art” was “punched up”, PDF’s were emailed to art licensing companies, and virtual hugs and kisses were exchanged. Look (soon) for some of our cards (NOT letterpress printed) in Big Box stores across the country.

And by�look, I mean�buy.

IF�you don’t have some cute independent store near you. OR if you don’t care about letterpress printing. OR if you refuse to�shop in our store. OR you are already buying a stroller and paper towels and light bulbs and ground beef and toilet paper and shampoo.

A teaser:

March 15, 2015
Countdown or Tally

Is Spring�really�here?

Not sure…

Let’s pretend it is. Let’s let me live in a world filled with hope! My obsessive weather-tracking (hourly checking my weather app) has proven to be successful.

It won’t be long before smartwool�socks are shed and (my) legs are shorn.

Stay tuned…

Here are a couple cards I made instead of penning a suicide note.

(Graduation)(Encouragement)

March 8, 2015
Same (expletive), Same Day

As I said goodbye to yet another kitten from our cat ranch,I thought to myself, “I bet this is exactly how Beyonc� feels when she drops an album.” And then I thought,�“My skin is so dry.”

I wish I could travel back in time… back to the 1970’s when there were environmental chambers built into the walls of health club locker rooms… (I think this is a real memory and that I’m not just pasting a false memory on top of a traumatic childhood locker room incident… those topless moms blow-drying their hair… Wait, am I?? Omg… Beep beep boop: Tropical Rainforest?? Yes, please!)

NO MATTER, here’s a new card!

February 27, 2015
No Surprise!

Some things�are�predictable – and thank goodness! It’s important to have things to count on… runny noses in February, militant-radical beheadings, and birthdays.The kittens just stole the strand of toilet paper that I was using to wipe my runny nose… ISIS militants cover their faces in black balaclavas… and I write birthday cards.

OH, LIFE.

February 20, 2015
Send Cheese

My grandpa’s battleship was bombed and he had to tread water for 13 hours WHILE he kept his unconscious buddy afloat.�That was just like the time in 2009 that I swam out to meet the seal.

SPEAKING OF TREADING WATER.

It’s mid-February in Minnesota.

February 15, 2015