Zeichen Press – Page 23 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

COLOR ME IMPRESSED!

Do you need ANOTHER thing to do this Holiday Season?

YES, PLEASE.

How about a�COLORING CONTEST??

But, Fran, how could I possibly fit this into my busy schedule??

THAT’S EASY BECAUSE WE BROKE IT DOWN INTO STEPS!
~ Step 1: print this�picture
~ Step 2: color the picture like your life depends on it
~ Step 3: take a photo�of your colored masterpiece with your super smartphone OR scan
~ Step 4: send to info@zeichenpress.com ~ or snailmail to us
Zeichen Press will choose the winner AND and that person will receive free cards!!!�

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

December 8, 2016
We want to be more than just friends with: i like you too

i like you too�->�416 Snelling South�Saint Paul, Minnesota 55105

ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

The gals��

knew it wasn’t right to deprive the good people of St. Paul all of that hand-crafted goodness for one more�minute. After all, they are THE purveyors of one-of-a-kind-locally-made-gifts.

They remind me of me and Jen�except�Jen has way more tattoos and piercings. Some day you’ll be as cool as us, ladies. SOME DAY.

They transformed�a blank canvas on Snelling

into something WORTHY ENOUGH to carry Zeichen Press cards.�

And they have other cute stuff too. Or whatever.

PS:

November 28, 2016
Custom Customer & Choirs of Angels

Now that my fireplace is ready for Winter,

Jen can finally print Holiday cards for our favorite custom customer. Akustiks�is�a fancy company of�acousticians who�design the architectural acoustics for theaters and concert halls.

And, correct me if I’m wrong, but a group of acousticians were actually hired�by God to assure the residents of Bethlehem that�His choir of angels sounded better than some�music pouring out of the�earbuds crammed in my earholes.

Despite my lo-fi circumstances, I created a new card. Only 38 shopping days till Christmas!

November 18, 2016
House Calls

Sometimes your web developer

has to come over and gnaw on bricks (gluten-free scones) and discuss dogs wearing sweaters so your�mobile site can function properly.

TECHNOLOGY.

And Jen loves meetings because she’s a social butterfly�

and craves attention. Oh, Jen! When will it be enough??

November 14, 2016
My Heart(h) Will Go On

As my eyeball filled with blood,

I thought to myself, “should I have someone redo my hearth,

or stop working on our 2017 catalog?”

I decided to both because I’m an over-achiever.

AND THEN I wrote a card

because it’s cheaper than therapy.

November 10, 2016
Poop Sandwich vs. Soup

November 3, 2016

Man vs. Himself

I was once one of them � an innocent amusement park customer. I looked down at them now, from the highest man-made point in Shakopee, Minnesota.�I sighed and listened to the�chug-chug-chugging�from beneath our coaster � our lives depended on the integrity of a giant bicycle chain.�Our open-casket hesitated for just a moment at the tippy-top of the steel summit � hesitated just enough for me to grasp the inevitable free-fall.�And as we plummeted to our possible deaths, I screamed.

And wet my pants.

The End

How old was she?

Don’t judge me.

Obviously,�I wasn’t born riding a roller coaster,�I was born screaming. And wetting my pants.

*Hint: this photograph was taken close to the time of the event and **Double Hint: I’m not the baby.Speaking of literary themes, there is a lot (not really) to dissect in this new (Holiday/Winter Season?) card:

November 24, 2012
Countdown To Countdown

The newspaper is delivered to our doorstep each morning (by horse and buggy) and I comb through it � if I find a particularly odd/sad/absurd story, I read it aloud to whomever (the dog) is nearby.

Here is an abbreviated digest of the only (two) articles I remember from the past (two) months:�(In alphabetical order)

1) Stratosphere jump by daredevil, Felix Baumgartner:�In an attempt to break the world record, Felix jumped from a capsule suspended 23 miles above Roswell, New Mexico.

I plan on breaking�that�record when I get tired of this whole letterpress thing.

2) Talking elephant in South Korea loves Zeichen Press.�Strange but true.

Crazy?! I know! Koshik’s trainer must $*#%-love Zeichen Press.

Enough time-wasting.

Here is a new Christmas card (available�NEXT�Christmas. Sorry).

November 17, 2012
Winter Preview

The Winter Walk Home from school included two memorable rituals: Dipping our un-mittened hands in 25� Tom Thumb coffee�(how old IS she?)�and passing by a very high retaining wall.

The wall held up the yard of our enemies: Two freckle-faced, red-headed brothers. These boys went to a�Public School�and as if that isn’t bad enough, they took great pleasure in tormenting me.

I will remind you that�this�is what I looked like:

Why would anyone want to harm such a sweet creature?

Armed with boulders of snow, poised-and-ready atop the wall � they would wait. Down Vincent Avenue I trudged: snow-pants under my plaid skirt, grease-covered hand-me-down coat, knit cap with sheepskin earflaps.

Again, why would anyone want to harm such a sweet creature?

I won’t tell you the ending.

We had a dusting of snow the other day but I knew better than to break out the snow-pants and knit cap. It was merely a teaser, a preview, an appetizer, an AMUSE-GUEULE.

Speaking of snow,�here’s a new card:�

November 14, 2012
Winternship� & Skin Suits

Zeichen Press has never had a Wintertime Intern.

Until now.

I expect the new “intern” to make me laugh.�It’s an important job.�She also claims she will sort type and organize cards but we’ll see. WE’LL SEE.

In other news:�I made ANOTHER�Thinking Of You�card. I thought and thought about what sort of message I’d like to receive if I were down-in-the-dumps, and I came up with this:My sister wanted me to show�The-Softer-Side-Of-Fran, but all I could think of was Marshmallow Fluff� and then I just wanted to sit on the beach and pull hermit crabs out of their shells.

What is wrong with me?

November 8, 2012
Snail Mail : Our Bread & Butter

There has been an ethical debate raging regarding snail shell art. Some feel that humans have the right to decorate the shells of�living snails.

Where do I stand?�The following new birthday card reveals my feelings on this sensitive subject:Please respect my freedom of speech.

Speaking of�freedom: Come down to�Foiled Again�on Saturday night for some�free�wine. While you’re there, you could buy some of our cards!

Two birds! One stone!

November 1, 2012
Insomnia and the Woolly Mammoth

I can’t wait until scientists clone the Woolly Mammoth.

Some might call it reckless curiosity, I call it Vegas-style science. Implanting salvaged Woolly Mammoth nuclei into an unsuspecting Asian Elephant sounds safe to me ��what could happen?�

Meanwhile,�I lay awake�and�imagine receiving (or not receiving) a baby Woolly Mammoth as a gift.�

October 27, 2012
I’ve Never Been To Paris

But I�did�take French in high school so I know all about magnetephones, l’autobus, et la lunettes pour Luc.

For the foreseeable future, I will stay within a 30 mile radius of the Zeichen Press headquarters and dream of faraway lands.Feeling the need for a Field Trip, I went to the Other Side Of Minneapolis and visited�Rex Mills. I walked through the front door, broke the tenth commandment,�(You shall not covet�- geez, get your mind out of the gutter)�pretended I had something in my eye, snapped some photos, threw a drink in the owner’s face, stole five pounds of ink, and left.That man in the photograph is not the owner � Rex Mills has�Press Operators.

I will kidnap him as soon as my taser gun arrives in the mail.

October 21, 2012
But Wait, There’s More!

Bears have it best � fattening up and slipping into their Wintertime coma. I sit here, like a fool, planning my Wintertime Wardrobe � if I never had to shower, I would wear my neck to ankle long-underwear uninterrupted.

I have Faith that Winter will eventually turn to Spring.

In Spring, I will tear off my layers of long-underwear. I will bury my Smartwool in the backyard. I will shun my calf-length coat like an old boyfriend.�(I can’t believe I was with YOU!!)

In Spring, kids graduate from educational institutions. And because I am a Giver, I give you these:�New graduation cards.�Don’t be like, “Why are you thinking about graduation in October?”

Just accept the greeting card calendar. ACCEPT IT.

October 15, 2012
MakeReady-Or-Not

How To Play:

Witch

��Using a neighborhood approved selection method (engine, engine #9 � bubblegum, bubblegum in a dish, etc.) select�The Witch.

��Use the same method to select a�Guinea Pig.

��The remaining players are�Runners.

� The Witch�leads The Guinea Pig�away. (This should be terrifying.) The Witch hides�The Guinea Pig��not on the garage roof. (This might be tempting. Don’t do it.)

� The Witch�gives (verbally) a list of tasks to�The Guinea Pig ��things like:�A)�Run around the house three times singing�The Happy Birthday Song.�B)�Dig a hole, bury one June Bug in it.�C)�Fill a hat with decorative rocks from the neighbor’s garden, etc.

��At this point,�The Witch�must call out “ready-or-not!” from wherever he/she is waiting/hiding.

��The “tasks” given to the�The Guinea Pig�are meant to lure the�Runners�off their safe-base and into the waiting/hiding clutches of�The Witch�while searching for the hidden�Guinea Pig.

��When/if any�Runners�are caught by�The Witch,�he or she�turns them into�Another Guinea Pig.�Meaning: They are hidden and given a�new�list of tasks for�The Runners�to complete.

��When tasks are completed for a particular�Pig,�a�Runner�must free them by tagging.�The Guinea Pig�must run to the safe-base without being caught by�The Witch.

��If�The Runners�successfully�free�The Guinea Pig(s),�they win the game.

� If�The Witch�catches all of�The Runners, she/he wins the game.

* If someone wets their pants during course of play, a “time-out” should be called and fresh pants should replace wet pants.

————-

In a bold (not really) and unprecedented (true) move, Zeichen Press will be offereing box sets of greeting cards that are�not�letterpress printed.

Hold your applause until the end.

We call this our�Makeready Collection.

Why?

Letterpress printers (like us) need to test placement, packing, and color when printing something new. The same old piece of paper is printed on over and over again, resulting in an odd (and might I add, paranormal?) mishmash of goodness.

Our�Makeready Collection�imitates this letterpress printing practice using a computer and�some other kind of printing. (Offset)

Here are the three designs: (Available for The New Year)

October 13, 2012
Your Marriage vs. The Zombie Apocalypse

I’m not a lawyer or a scientist but I understand the importance of writing marital vows that contain language relating to soulless corpses.

I know it’s not�Zombie Season�because the weather is cooler and I know the weather is cooler because the maggots in the garbage bin magically disappeared. The rash of zombie activity this Summer has inspired me to rewrite my vows � I simply cannot have my husband strip naked and eat my face on the turnpike.

Give this card to newlyweds or oldyweds:

October 7, 2012