Zeichen Press – Page 24 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

COLOR ME IMPRESSED!

Do you need ANOTHER thing to do this Holiday Season?

YES, PLEASE.

How about a�COLORING CONTEST??

But, Fran, how could I possibly fit this into my busy schedule??

THAT’S EASY BECAUSE WE BROKE IT DOWN INTO STEPS!
~ Step 1: print this�picture
~ Step 2: color the picture like your life depends on it
~ Step 3: take a photo�of your colored masterpiece with your super smartphone OR scan
~ Step 4: send to info@zeichenpress.com ~ or snailmail to us
Zeichen Press will choose the winner AND and that person will receive free cards!!!�

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

December 8, 2016
We want to be more than just friends with: i like you too

i like you too�->�416 Snelling South�Saint Paul, Minnesota 55105

ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

The gals��

knew it wasn’t right to deprive the good people of St. Paul all of that hand-crafted goodness for one more�minute. After all, they are THE purveyors of one-of-a-kind-locally-made-gifts.

They remind me of me and Jen�except�Jen has way more tattoos and piercings. Some day you’ll be as cool as us, ladies. SOME DAY.

They transformed�a blank canvas on Snelling

into something WORTHY ENOUGH to carry Zeichen Press cards.�

And they have other cute stuff too. Or whatever.

PS:

November 28, 2016
Custom Customer & Choirs of Angels

Now that my fireplace is ready for Winter,

Jen can finally print Holiday cards for our favorite custom customer. Akustiks�is�a fancy company of�acousticians who�design the architectural acoustics for theaters and concert halls.

And, correct me if I’m wrong, but a group of acousticians were actually hired�by God to assure the residents of Bethlehem that�His choir of angels sounded better than some�music pouring out of the�earbuds crammed in my earholes.

Despite my lo-fi circumstances, I created a new card. Only 38 shopping days till Christmas!

November 18, 2016
House Calls

Sometimes your web developer

has to come over and gnaw on bricks (gluten-free scones) and discuss dogs wearing sweaters so your�mobile site can function properly.

TECHNOLOGY.

And Jen loves meetings because she’s a social butterfly�

and craves attention. Oh, Jen! When will it be enough??

November 14, 2016
My Heart(h) Will Go On

As my eyeball filled with blood,

I thought to myself, “should I have someone redo my hearth,

or stop working on our 2017 catalog?”

I decided to both because I’m an over-achiever.

AND THEN I wrote a card

because it’s cheaper than therapy.

November 10, 2016
Poop Sandwich vs. Soup

November 3, 2016

Mating Tips

The only way to find out if you’re truly compatible with another is to spend a year together aboard a Portuguese fishing vessel.

Unfortunately, that’s not always an option. Don’t spend another minute agonizing!

Forget the touchy-feely�Relationships�aisle at Barnes & Noble or (gasp) your local library! Forget the $120/hour couples counselor! Forget mind-reading, unmet expectations, behavior prediction!

Zeichen Press has created a $4.00 cheat sheet!�Collect them all (there’s only one) and store them safely in a polished mahogany box. Tabulated by topics, like: Division-of-Labor, Apology,�and so much more!

*A�Mating Tip Card�and a BB gun make the perfect wedding gift.

October 3, 2012
Neglected Category

My retirement plans are needy and demand an Airstream Trailer

and a plot of land in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee � as close as possible to Dollywood.

That would be fine as cream gravy.

Yes, retirement � everyone does it differently. Some like to join communities in Arizona and some like to hoard cats. Hoard cats until one day they have a stroke, can’t get to the phone, die of starvation, and their beloved pets eat their face.

But everyone is so different!�And as my Grandma Shea used to say, “It takes all kinds.”

So wise.

September 26, 2012
A Loon Call For Garrison Keillor And Hat Made of Money

When I heard Jen was participating in the Loon Call Contest at the�Prairie Home Companion Street Party, I said a quick prayer to Saint Genesius.

I can’t believe she didn’t win.�

Earlier that day,�this�angel�dressed in plain clothes�was spotted:

If I wore a hat made of money, I’d have a faraway look in my eye, too.

September 22, 2012
Eating My Weight In Vegetables

Did you know that the�Arboretum�has a�pick-your-own�vegetable garden? The signs were more intuitive than posted.

My latest health craze (the last one turned out not to be a “health” craze) promises an upward trajectory of boundless energy and crisply firing synapses. Kale, spinach, green chard, cucumber, celery, lemon, parsley, and apple in one glass.

In one glass.

I’ve learned that a bagful of smuggled kale equals one thimbleful of juice.

One thimbleful.

I wonder how many ounces I would be if I were juiced.�Note to self: Juicing bodies would make them easier to flush down toilet.

Look at these beautiful Dahlias and forget everything I just said:Weren’t those lovely?

All of the flowers and vegetables inspired a Father’s Day card:

September 14, 2012
Gather Ye Nuts While Ye May

September is the schizophrenic sibling in the Year Family�one day a beastly 90�, the next day fighting off dinosaurs in the living room. Dust off your crock-pots, it’s time for meat and vegetables to mingle on the countertop for hours.�Once Upon A Time, I got a massage in September. It was from a hobbit�he blessed the vessel that was me and scampered around the table like his footsies were on fire. When it was over, he requested a hug. I consented because I have never hugged a hobbit and I didn’t want to crush his tiny hobbit-heart.

September 12, 2012
Killing Several Birds With Two Seahorses

�I am all about efficiency.�It’s one of the (two) things people love about me. If I can’t multi-task my way through a problem, it’s better left to a pre-schooler.�I always say.

Yes, it’s an enviable quality; I can think about any number of things�while I work on something else.

The neighbor that flipped me off�called me the other night. She wanted to accuse my kids of egging her car. I told her that�I�egged her car. She couldn’t hear my confession because she was too busy talking about someone stealing Bounty Paper Towels from her backseat.

I thought about my conversation with her while I worked on some seahorses in photoshop. Here’s the thing/a little secret:�Not every image comes to us as a perfect little mounted printer’s block.�

There are some that need finessing:I’m sure you knew that.

I feel like I have to apologize for the latest card.

I’m sorry.

Here it is,�sss.�(sorry so sappy)

September 6, 2012
State Fair Inspired Christmas Cards

Maybe it’s the�Grilled Spamwiches

or the Walking Tacos. Maybe it’s the�4-H Barn, full of homespun country talent.

Or maybe it’s the�Birth Barn.Ham!

Perhaps it is a combination of these magical happenings. This yearly phenomenon fills me with such joy… such eager anticipation! There are visual delights to behold whenever the head is turned!

It reminds me of�The Birth of Our Lord.�I bet the shepherds know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, I shouldn’t�question my inspiration.

Here are two new Christmas cards:

August 31, 2012
Old-School Birthday Card

It was Jen’s birthday yesterday. She celebrated by cramming her car with kids and driving East for five hours.

I celebrated by going to my In-Laws to hear some family history � �a combination of Downton Abbey and Angela’s Ashes.

BUT before these festive events, I gave Jen a card:Perhaps you recognize that man?His pants are usually radioactive, but not for this card.

August 27, 2012
MERRY (name)MAS!

Times were simple then � pre-Facebook… cats fixed… no�Dance Moms…

The air was thick with anticipation � it wasn’t fair to keep�Zeichen Press�hidden from the�public.It was time to pry open the (heirloom-quality) tupperware lid. Time to expose the rotting and pungent living carcass to the unblinking eye of its critics.

The Universe demanded documentation. Who am I to refuse?

That was four years ago (today).Now, readership of the Zeichen Press blog hovers somewhere between cable-access viewership and meaningful Craigslist encounters.

Cheers!

August 25, 2012
THINKING OF YOU

Time alone was rare. But in a pinch,�I was forced to conjure up an imaginary playmate. This was a strange exercise and not something I was particularly good at.

Other children lived in complex and exotic worlds of make-believe � I don’t think the “friends” in their pretend worlds were�from Minnesota ��with names like�Carura Fadida�and�Anarada Salsa.

There was a girl who lived in the glossy tile next to the toilet. I spoke with her when there was no soul around.

Her name was “Fran.”

Rooted in reality, with a strong sense of the superfluousness of an imaginary world. I was, and am, from German stock.�Zees duss neecht make senss.

It must be that toe-hold in reality that permits me to create the following:

August 22, 2012