• METRO home found us!

    It was only a matter of time because we were standing outside their office.

    METRO home is a new special section in METRO. The cover of this months issue is intriguing and frightening. It might be a photograph of a bedroom/torture chamber. What’s behind those curtains?metro-home-cover-grabYikes! This room comes with shackles and nightmares.

    Urban Living Manifesto sounds really serious. Do people really take themselves that seriously?? Two words for them: settle. down.

    Oh, but here’s something cheerful - it’s about Zeichen Press:metro-crop-full-page-spread-grab
    Those Room & Board prints were sure worth all of the sweat I dripped on them last Summer!

    fran-in-the-sweat-shop

    May 4, 2011
  • Goodbye Craftstravaganza 2011

    I was right in the middle of a dream where both of my eyeballs were, curiously, weeping blood. This was, of course, followed by an intense search for a public toilet and, AS USUAL, the only available toilet was in a high-traffic area of the Southdale Mall.

    Thank God Jen called and woke me up. But not before I reluctantly (why do I always do it??) sat my bare bottom on the toilet.

    If I’ve learned anything in my life it is how to be wrenched from a sound sleep and into a car in under 5 minutes.

    It’s not pretty but neither is childbirth.

    Jen and I stopped for our traditional latte at the May Day Cafe and then it was onward to the State Fairgrounds. The Fine Arts Building was our cold and unwelcoming host, its huge doors left open to remind us that April can be just as cold as November.

    I’m sure the whole building was full of crafty-goodness but unless tables were set up on the way to the bathroom, I wasn’t going to see them. For eight hours, I did observe the folks running the Burlesque of North America table. They are screen printers – a craft that I have always had a crush on. Anyway, despite the sweetness of their prints, they were just as freezing as us.

    burlesque-worker-cold

    Poor thing!

    Our big experiment for this year’s fair involved a QR code

    qr-code-token

    that led to our latest Watch and Share card.

    It was successful. If you measure success in terms of wishes and smiles. Which I do.

    zp-craftstravaganza-booth-2011

    May 1, 2011
  • WATCHandSHAREcards

    Dynamite magazine was full of hard-hitting news for kids growing up in the 1970’s.dynamite-magazine

    But the best part of the magazine were the centerfolds. I wanted the Hang in There! poster so bad. It would have looked sweet on my closet door – right next to my Jackson 5 poster.

    jackson-5

    Struck by nostalgia and surrounded by (more) kittens, I took it upon myself to recreate the magic moment of the earnest kitten:hang-in-there-pamWhen I was all done forcing the kittens to perform adorable stunts, it was time to make videos of people reading Zeichen Press cards.

    Let me explain: Beneath various cards in our online shop, there will be a link to a video of someone (it could be you!) reading the card aloud. Why? Because even the lazy and the ne’er do wells have a right to Zeichen Press cards.

    April 2, 2011
  • A Grateful Robot and a Ladies Night Out

    My grandma kept a drawer-full of greeting cards in her buffet. An entire drawer, devoted to spontaneous correspondence!

    What a woman.

    She also kept plastic on her sofa and carpet on her kitchen floor. She really wanted to protect her furniture and linoleum.

    The Thank-You Note is a classic greeting card and should be the foundation of any collection. Receiving a thank-you note in the mail is a little bit like finding money in last Winter’s coat or a good hat in a snowbank.

    Let’s write one together!

    First, choose a card:grateful-robotNow on to the writing… We’ll break it down into 5 easy steps:

    1) Begin with a greeting: Dear Aunt Shirley,

    She loves to hear her name because cats can’t talk.

    2) This is the meat of the note and notice there is no appetizer. This is a “note” not a letter. Cut right to it: Thank you so much for the medical marijuana! If the gift from Aunt Shirley was cash, do not mention it. Speak instead of her “generosity.” Thank you for your generosity!

    3) Say a little bit about how you use or will use the gift: I smoke it everyday!

    4) Mention the last time you saw Aunt Shirley and hint at a future meeting: It was lovely to see you at Uncle Bob’s funeral, I hope to see you again before your funeral!

    5) And scene: Love, Fran

    Oh, and here’s another card that will be added to the line:the-only-rule

    February 22, 2011
  • Franstravaganza Part II

    “It is finished.” She gasped as she crumpled to the cold, concrete. It was, by all accounts, glorious. The work would outlast the artist and elevate the art form to new and dizzying heights. 

    But she, exhausted and covered in ink, was oblivious. To her, this was nothing more than an exercise. A functional and fleeting piece, it would be handled roughly and discarded by Springtime.

    Um, so, that poster for Craftsravaganza is, like, done:

    craftstravaganza-poster

    February 14, 2011
  • Franstravaganza!

    There are a couple of things going on around here:

    1) Our fax machine is spitting out orders faster than we (jen) can fill them.

    2) We (I) are (am) making the poster for this year’s Craftstravanganza.

    Just to make my load fair, I listen to a recording of screaming children while I work.

    I think it really shows:

    craftstravaganza-layout-export_1

    Today, I will put ink on that – it will be so spectacular there won’t be a dry eye in the room. (I’ll be the only one in the room.)

    February 13, 2011
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  • Scatology 101

    My interests are broad and highbrow — sometimes I think about zombies and sometimes I think about bowel movements. I guess I’m not the only one. The reaction to the zombie card I posted on Easter caught me off guard.

    Caught me off guard like a show poodle at the dog park. (See, I’m the poodle, and the big dirty dogs come out of nowhere and molest me).

    And that brings me to bowel movements. I just realized that both of the cards Paper Source chose to carry are poop-related. How childish! How jejune!sleep-eat-poop-orangecrap

    April 10, 2012
  • Belated Easter Cards

    Something (the cat mistaking my bathroom floor for her litter box) woke me up this morning and although I completely resented being awake, I wrote three cards.

    Here they are.

    Don’t send me hate mail.new-lasershe-knew-that-easternobody-celebrates-2

    April 8, 2012
  • Duck Was Here

    I was getting dressed… brushing my teeth… pulling my hair into a ponytail… looking for my wallet… looking for my keys… feeding the dog… All the while, I heard many, many ducks flying overhead.

    QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK

    I thought, “Wow… there must be like a hundred ducks… they sure quack a lot…”

    I walked outside.

    There was just one duck.

    On my roof.duck-was-herewhat-the-duck

    April 3, 2012
  • Status Updates Of Yore

    •Managed to trap and skin a rat  — it will make a delicious stew AND the fur can be used to plug my empty eye-socket — the Lord doth provide!

    •Does anyone know where I can find some food? My family has been living on brown bread and my old trousers for the entire Winter. Help!

    •Dug such a deep pit today — grandma will surely die this Winter and the grave will be ready in Spring. #planahead

    •My husband has had a fever for so long — the barber-surgeon is going to start the bloodletting tonight. Fingers crossed…

    •My son is going to the gibbet tomorrow. ğŸ™�gibbet

    Okay, that was nice. How about a new card?dear-god-amen

    March 31, 2012
  • For Cheese and For My Country

    Oscar Litterer lived in my house and he loved his ham radio. He loved it so much, he built a secret radio room under the stairs. I imagine he sat there night after night broadcasting his message to the moon and back. He was not alone — others really did share his passion for frequency modulation — but not in his own home. In his own home, his wife tended the peonies and their only son was devoted to the project of digging the hole in the driveway.

    What a lonely life for Oscar!

    When someone has a passion for something, they shouldn’t hide under the basement steps. They should open a shop and hire Zeichen Press to design t-shirts. theirs-was-a-tough-act-to-follow-kernedpowers-for-good-with-sheep_0

    March 30, 2012
  • Plan F

    F for Fran. Plan Fran…

    Ready? OK!

    F-R-A-N… That spells, Fran! Yayyyy!aboveaverageThat’s how I start every morning. A rousing cheer, followed by a shot of micro-nutrients and a cup of coffee. Rituals are so important.

    On this particular morning, I heard my favorite sound in the world — right after the cry of a newborn baby and right before the death-rattle of my enemies — the fax machine. Beep-beep-boop-beep-bip-bope-bop………..whirrrrrrrrrrr

    ‘Twas our first order from that paper super-power, Paper Source! I grabbed the fax, my coffee and laptop, and headed to the warehouse. I set all three things down in front of me, sat myself down, faced all squarely and said aloud, “Oh, this is nice.”

    And to celebrate, I knocked over my coffee cup, spilling its contents all over the fax and into my open laptop.

    Luckily, the dog ran in, lapped up the spilled coffee and pooped on the floor.

    When is Jen coming home?

    March 28, 2012
  • Found My Way Downstairs And Drank A Cup

    With Jen gone, I wander about bumping into doorways and stepping in dog poop. I think I can write off glasses and shoes as a business expense so I’m not so concerned about the money. I am concerned by my ever-growing obsession with taking photographs of everything I see.

    Help.

    Me.

    tree-fungi dylan-march-2012 fran-dress-pose lucy-edmund-my-bed red-outhouse lucy-turban lucy-sad-mermaid lucy-glasses-wig there-are-no-words-lead-type

    March 26, 2012
  • It Looks Like A Duck So It Must be Spring

    Interns make me think of Summer and since we met two potential candidates this week, I think Summer must be approaching. I wanted to have the girls fight to the death for the position but Jen said we could hire both. She is so sensible.

    Anyway, Jen’s going on vacation tomorrow and that leaves me plenty of time to clean up the blood and call Centerpoint before I dig the grave in my backyard.

    Dear Diary, I witnessed something today that I’m pretty sure is illegal. Anyway, I hope Jen has a nice time in Mexico. Fondly, Franscrewed

    March 22, 2012
  • A Dog’s To-Do List -AND- Other Important Things

    One year, the Easter Bunny put a tiny white bunny in our Easter basket. I was sure it was meant for me and not for the other kids that shared my home and parents. An outdoor cage was built and the bunny lived in it until — and my memory gets fuzzy at this point — the bunny went to live with the Easter Bunny again? Yes, I think that’s what happened.

    I don’t remember how I got it, but I also had a durable green parakeet. I usually forgot to clean her cage and the droppings rose like stalagmites from the newspaper-covered floor.stalagmite

    We never had a dog, although my grandparent’s dog tried to make me his wife. That was pretty traumatizing.

    Last weekend, I was surrounded by six small dogs. I loved it so much, I made a new card:dog-to-do-listOh, AND the Important Thing?  We got cards into Paper Source. It’s about time you noticed us, you big lug. (Paper Source has 63 shops around the country. Thats 63 x something x $ = $$$$)

    March 21, 2012
  • We want to be more than just friends with: The Artisan Center (Denver)

    Artisan Center -> 2757 East Third Avenue, Denver, CO 80206

    ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

    Okay, so I began my exhaustive research with the Yelp reviews. One phrase stood out, “This place hasn’t been around for 30 years by sucking.”

    That should be their slogan.

    Do you need soaps, jewelry, mobiles, salad bowls, stained glass, OUR CARDS, or a bird house made of a Minnesota license plate??artisan-center-table-displayYou do? After reading those reviews, I had to go check this place out for myself:artisan-center-staff-and-fran

    Those people are small. And blurry.

    March 12, 2012
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