Zeichen Press – Page 26 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

METRO home found us!

It was only a matter of time because we were standing outside their office.

METRO home�is a new�special�section in�METRO. The cover of this months issue is intriguing and frightening. It might be a photograph of a bedroom/torture chamber.�What’s behind those curtains?Yikes! This room comes with shackles and nightmares.

Urban Living Manifesto�sounds really serious. Do people really take themselves that seriously?? Two words for them:�settle. down.

Oh, but here’s something cheerful -�it’s about Zeichen Press:
Those Room & Board prints were sure worth all of the sweat I dripped on them last Summer!

May 4, 2011
Goodbye Craftstravaganza 2011

I was right in the middle of a dream where both of my eyeballs were, curiously, weeping blood. This was, of course, followed by an intense search for a public toilet and, AS USUAL, the only available toilet was in a high-traffic area of the Southdale Mall.

Thank God Jen called and woke me up. But not before I reluctantly�(why do I always do it??)�sat my bare bottom on the toilet.

If I’ve learned anything in my life it is how to be wrenched from a sound sleep and into a car in under 5 minutes.

It’s not pretty but neither is childbirth.

Jen and I stopped for our traditional latte at the�May Day Cafe�and then it was onward to the State Fairgrounds. The Fine Arts Building was our cold and unwelcoming host, its huge doors left open to remind us that April can be just as cold as November.

I’m sure the whole building was full of crafty-goodness but unless tables were set up on the way to the bathroom, I wasn’t going to see them. For eight hours, I did observe the folks running the�Burlesque of North America�table. They are screen printers – a craft that I have always had a crush on. Anyway, despite the sweetness of their prints, they were just as freezing as us.

Poor thing!

Our big experiment for this year’s fair involved a QR code

that led to our latest�Watch and Share�card.

It was successful. If you measure success in terms of wishes and smiles. Which I do.

May 1, 2011
WATCHandSHAREcards

Dynamite magazine�was full of hard-hitting news for kids growing up in the 1970’s.

But the best part of the magazine were the centerfolds. I wanted the�Hang in There!�poster so bad. It would have looked sweet on my closet door – right next to my Jackson 5 poster.

Struck by nostalgia and surrounded by (more) kittens, I took it upon myself to recreate the magic moment of the earnest kitten:When I was all done forcing the kittens to perform adorable stunts, it was time to make�videos of people reading Zeichen Press cards.

Let me explain:�Beneath various cards in our�online shop, there will be a link to a video of someone (it could be you!) reading the card aloud.�Why?�Because even�the lazy and the ne’er do wells have a right to Zeichen Press cards.

April 2, 2011
A Grateful Robot and a Ladies Night Out

My grandma kept a drawer-full of greeting cards in her buffet. An entire drawer, devoted to spontaneous correspondence!

What a woman.

She also�kept plastic on her sofa and carpet on her kitchen floor. She really wanted to protect her furniture and linoleum.

The Thank-You Note is a classic greeting card and should be the foundation of any collection. Receiving a thank-you note in the mail is a little bit like finding money in last Winter’s coat or a good hat in a snowbank.

Let’s write one together!

First,�choose a card:Now on to the writing… We’ll break it down into 5 easy steps:

1) Begin with a greeting:�Dear Aunt Shirley,

She loves to hear her name because cats can’t talk.

2) This is the meat of the note and notice there is no appetizer. This is a “note” not a letter. Cut right to it:�Thank you so much for the medical marijuana!�If the gift from Aunt Shirley was cash,�do not mention it.�Speak instead of her “generosity.”�Thank you for your generosity!

3) Say a little bit about how you use or will use the gift:�I smoke it everyday!

4) Mention the last time you saw Aunt Shirley and hint at a future meeting:�It was lovely to see you at Uncle Bob’s funeral, I hope to see you again before your funeral!

5) And scene:�Love, Fran

Oh, and here’s another card that will be added to the line:

February 22, 2011
Franstravaganza Part II

“It is finished.” She gasped as she crumpled to the cold, concrete. It was, by all accounts, glorious. The work would outlast the artist and elevate the art form to new and dizzying heights.�

But she, exhausted and covered in ink, was oblivious. To her, this was nothing more than an exercise. A functional and fleeting piece, it would be handled roughly and discarded by Springtime.

Um, so, that poster for�Craftsravaganza�is, like, done:

February 14, 2011
Franstravaganza!

There are a couple of things going on around here:

1) Our fax machine is spitting out orders faster than we (jen) can fill them.

2) We (I) are (am) making the poster for this year’s�Craftstravanganza.

Just to make my load fair, I listen to a recording of screaming children while I work.

I think it really shows:

Today, I will put ink on that – it will be so spectacular there won’t be a dry eye in the room. (I’ll be the only one in the room.)

February 13, 2011

Nightmare/Retreat

I’ve been told that it’s important to take a break � get in the car, hop on a plane, inject yourself with propofol � whatever it takes. I love free advice � remember when everyone told me to get my cat fixed? She�did�die but I hate dwelling on details.

Anyway, I decided to take that break…

Step one was important and involved shaving the dog.

This took about two hours because she insists on wearing the wig.

Step two involved tuna-salad.�That’s self-explanatory.

And step three was spent poring over maps. This step was critical because, for some reason, I would be the person driving the car.�“WHAT?!”�you say. And rightly so.

Yes, for two and a half hours, my passengers/prisoners sat with clenched jaws, praying for safe passage or a quick, painless death.

Praise the Lord, prayers were answered, tuna salad was consumed, ticks were pulled, and screens were repaired.

It was only 24 hours, but it felt longer. If someone you love is diagnosed with a terminal illness and wants to make their life feel like it’s dragging on and on, send them to a place without flushing toilets � a place where you are forced to haul your own water to pour into the toilet bowl so the toilet will (magically) flush.

The drive home was terrifying and I gripped the steering wheel like a scrap of wood floating by a freshly wrecked ship. If the other drivers on 35W only knew my fear, they would have given me my own lane and maybe a police escort.

June 14, 2012
Free-Range Franimals

Off-key Christmas carols float dreamily through the Summer air, the ice-cream truck trolls for kids using low-fi audio technology. Water-balloons are filled, teams are picked (bubble gum, bubble gum, in a dish, how many pieces do you wish?) but distractions are everywhere and soon talk turns from who is on which team to pretend lands filled with orphaned children. Poor, parentless children, left to cobble together meals from mint leaves and wild rhubarb.

Summertime, and the children and animals are off-leash � days are filled with sprinklers, wet bathing suits, hot dogs burned on the grill, and day dreaming.

Here’s a new card:

June 9, 2012
Freaktastic.

They were born not as two, but one. Cut from the belly of a woman who was hardly human. Her womb, an experimental lab � a petri dish, an incubator of life not fit for earthly habitation. But life, still.�

Strange!

No, not strange:

June 5, 2012
Gratitude & Regret

Like�Bread & Pickle�(LOVE their lattes) but it serves turkey chowder in an air-sickness bag.�

Life is full of gratitude and regret. Both should be acknowledged.�Hopefully via a Zeichen Press card.�I am sure that if we all thoroughly examined our consciences, we would discover a whole room of regret. That room would be furnished with a urine-stained futon, a musty trunk, and an ash tray.�That’s sad!

CONVERSELY, the gratitude room is full of Daylilies and cookie jars.

Here are some cards for both occasions:�And don’t act like you don’t need both cards.

We still love you.

June 1, 2012
Speaking of Snakes

There was a pet store in my neighborhood�(Petcetera)�that had all kinds of fascinating creatures. The best creature was a full-size (5 feet, from snout to tip of tail) alligator in a steel tub. The tub had a makeshift screen cover so that the alligator couldn’t escape.

A screen cover.�

So the ALLIGATOR couldn’t escape.

I think it was drugged anyway � it just laid there, blinking it’s beautiful eyes.

Of course there were snakes, and I don’t know much about snakes, but what I�do�know is pretty scientifically accurate.�When snakes speak, they drag out their s’s.�They’re usually pretty shy but if you give one a frozen mouse they are your friend for at least 5 seconds.

May 30, 2012
Wanted: Design Pimp

It was a fat PVC pipe, coated in Crisco, pitched at a 25� angle and suspended over a pit filled with filthy water. A $5 bill was clipped to the high end and my job was to shimmy my way to it.�(Why am I always shimmying poles?)�With my glasses pushed tight to my face, my stringy blonde hair moved back and forth as I slid myself toward my goal. I wore my lucky shorts � Granny Smith green with pink piping � and “my 4th of July” shirt � red and blue striped off-brand Izod.

A crowd gathered.

I wanted that $5 and the glory that came with it. With that $5, I could buy enough candy to satisfy my aching sweet tooth and with that glory came a lifetime of bragging rights.�“The greased pole in the Hollow in Barnstable? Yeah, I did that.”

I entered a competition today. This one does not involve poles, pits, or Crisco. It does involve money and Jen and I have both agreed that we will do (almost) anything for money.

Uncommon Goods�invited us to submit designs for an iPhone case and after slathering myself in Crisco, I submitted some designs. I know you’ve�seen these before. I’m really into recycling.

May 26, 2012
Hang Your Skirt On The Flagpole Day

I know that Native Americans can anticipate the change of seasons by paying close attention to the subtle signs in nature.�I’ve been doing that too.�

Sign number one was seeing a rat splattered on the street in front of my house. When the rats crawl out of the sewers it means we are in for a serious drought. Or that I need to move.

Sign number two was seeing a man peeing on the side of my garage. When a man pees on the side of your garage it means that I need to move.

Okay, the school year is fizzling out like a dud of a firecracker and that’s good because I’ve seen those mangled hands and it is difficult to fill in those little SAT bubbles with a nub-hand.

Once Upon A Time,�I made the difficult transition from Catholic Grade School to Catholic High School � this meant going from blue and green plaid skirts to brown and gray plaid skirts. THIS meant that I�had to�inch my way up the school’s flagpole and fly my skirt like a flag.

Just like Hayley Mills (in�The Trouble With Angels!) sans cigarette.

It’s not too late to send your favorite graduate from the Class of 2012 a Zeichen Press card stuffed with money!� (You’re welcome, graduates.)

May 23, 2012
Heavy Metal Type

One fully loaded�California Job Case�weighs as much as I do and�I have spent the week proving this.

We are in the process of rearranging the shop and I am in the process of atoning for my sins via physical labor ��my hair shirt is at the cleaners and flip-flops don’t hold small rocks like Uggs.

Here’s how it works: I carefully slide one 100 lb case out of the cabinet�and onto the floor.

And then I do that, like, 60 more times.

If I realize there is a case of type I need on the bottom of the pile, I simply pick up each and every case on top of that case and create�another�pile on the floor.

At some point, intern(s) get involved.Their apprenticeship is very old-school: They sort type/hate me. That’s how they used to do it in the good ol’ days, I’m just trying to keep tradition alive.

They’ll thank me later.

May 18, 2012
Happy Mother’s Day! -AND- Some Other Tidbits

The Craftstravaganza is o-v-e-r. And in case you missed it, Jen gave a stirring performance as Janet Jackson circa 1989 – here’s a photo I took at the event,�right before she threw down her cardboard and got totally into it.�

That was really something.

Also, and I don’t know why, I made this card after the show:Happy Mother’s Day, all you mothers!!

May 13, 2012
Craftstravaganza 2012 + Mother’s Day 2012 = Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo

Jen has already packed up her cardboard for our big breakdancing number � that is our “workshop” for the Craftstravaganza on Saturday at the MN State Fairgrounds.

I sewed costumes (Jen will be dressed as Janet Jackson : Rhythm Nation 1814 and I will be a butterfly). Other workshops include weavers weaving, making t-shirt necklaces, food jewelry, and yarn bombing.�The yarn bombing sounds dangerous.

There will be�nearly 150 vendors, so if you can’t find a Mother’s Day gift on Saturday, I can only assume you hate your mom.

May 10, 2012