Zeichen Press – Page 37 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Teaching strange children

As we pulled up in the parking lot to our Pre-School Speaking Engagement, Jen reminded me not to swear in front of the children. I told her I would do my best but I wouldn’t make any promises and that sometimes I need to use strong language to really make my point… sometimes I need to use strong language when children REFUSE TO BEHAVE.

I’m kidding. I told Jen to stick it in a hole. She’s not the boss of me. Then she slapped me good and hard. I can’t say that I blame her.

It took a few minutes for the kids to warm up to me. My costume might have confused them. Anyway, I brought a chase locked up with wood type and set it on the floor.

When I was a kid, I saw a kid throw another kid’s shoe into the Primate Den at The Como Zoo. The monkeys approached cautiously but before long they were all over that shoe. They wanted that shoe. I was fascinated. But then I was distracted because of�another�kid. A�mischievous boy who met his match�while trying to climb over a spike-tipped, wrought-iron fence.

I love the zoo.

January 29, 2009
Voodoo

What in the ding-dang are these city-folk up to now??!! Putting pins in good folks and charging money for it?! I got myself some thumbtacks and I can put ’em anywhere you damn well please and charge you half ‘n what these quacks are taking. You mark my words, next there’s gonna be all kinds of potions and maybe even some of that herb smoking. I got news for you:

This ain’t California.

We like our doctors wearing stethoscopes and blue pants. We like our doctors to give us shots when we don’t feel good. We like being sent to the pharmacist. WE LIKE IT.

Oh, flibbity flam. I’ve got some noodlin’ to do. Have a look at some of Fran’s “work” for Performance Acupuncture.
Logos… What the?

January 23, 2009
The calm before the sh*t storm

One of my stalkers used to say, “I’ve gottalotta things in the hopper. A lot. In the hopper.” I often wondered if one of those things in the hopper was making a skin suit out of me. But I never asked – I love surprises. He once chased me on roller skates. I wasn’t even scared. Now, the cab-driver… the stalking cab-driver, he was a little scary. Although… he’d drive by an Old Country Buffet and�was so high he’d often forget he was stalking me. He just couldn’t resist the chicken-fried-chicken.�

But enough of these bedtime stories!

WE’VE got a lot of things in the hopper: A Logo, Oscar-luncheon-gift-bag-goodies, a show at a gallery, a speaking engagement in front of pre-schoolers, a bat mitzvah invitation, more stupid catalogs. I’m nervous about the speaking engagement. If I make eye-contact with any one of those children they’ll own me. The last thing I need is a room full of kids throwing lead type at my head.

In preparation for the upcoming events I decided that someone should clean our little shop of horrors. Someone did. Isn’t it cute? *Note the framed photo of Kelly Clarkson next to the hanging hammer.

January 22, 2009
Won’t you be my neighbor?

Hot Plate‘s�Mexican Omelette was again sending me messages. Who am I to ignore them? I just do what I’m told.

Exhausted from an earlier outing, I had my husband drive our team of horses. I was cozy warm because I stuffed hot potatoes in my pants.

While I devoured my second Mexican Omelette of the week I chatted with owner, Carrie Lewis. She told me a tale. A tale that reminded me of how dark the soul can be… a tale of the flawed nature of humanity. I openly wept as she about her passive aggressive neighbors. And, as I sipped my 9th delicious latte, I formulated a plan: I would counter the negativity directed at�The Best Restaurant on the South Side�by channeling the Prince of Peace, Mr. Rogers.

Who better to handle bad neighborhood karma than him? I can think of no one. I have created this card and will be making a plate asap. Reserve one (or five) today because they will be selling faster than Hot Plate’s pumpkin pancakes.

January 19, 2009
May my suffering bring you joy

Only my fellow Minnesotans and residents of�Chicken, Alaska�can truly understand what it means to be cold. I am intrigued by deadly weather. Cold that can freeze a limb solid. Cold that flattens your car tires. Cold that makes your eyeballs feel funny. I braved the extreme cold today.

Twice.

-21� is COLD. But a Mexican Omelette was whispering my name with such longing… I put on every bit of clothing I own and headed outside. The car actually told me to F – Off. I reminded it that we were both in this together and that if it cooperated I would fill it up with Premium Gasoline. Foolish car, choosing gasoline over Mexican Omelette!

When I was safely inside of�Hot Plate�I laughed… Oh, how I laughed – and saluted the outdoors for being a worthy adversary. Later that day (that SAME day) I went outside again. I actually ran to the studio. It took 1.5 seconds. Luckily my exposed body part (my bottom) was unharmed.

Where was I? Oh, yes. I risked my limbs (and bottom) to run to the studio and lay out previously written cards. Three birthday cards. The metal type was awfully cold. I wanted to lick it but I exercised restraint.

January 16, 2009
Back in the shop

The low magenta toner has put a hold on the catalog production. I am really, really upset about it. I’d like to spend more time with the new laser printer. Understanding its quirks, its likes and dislikes. What makes it get out of bed every morning? Does it enjoy being my slave? Don’t worry, Brother HL-4070CDW – this is only temporary. Jen paid the extra $3.99 for shipping and your toner will be here Wednesday. Thank you, Jen. I mean it.�

So I spent the day in the shop. Despite my tears I was able to lay out some previously written cards. I think the anguish really comes through. I am, after all, an artist. My soul is appropriately tortured. Whoa is me.

January 12, 2009

Nudity

It’s finally Spring! Time to peel off my�SmartWool�socks and bury them in the backyard following a short – but tasteful – ceremony. They will be missed. Everyone at Zeichen Press went and got a mani/pedi.

Except Jen.

Here is a�before�and�after:

April 24, 2010
Jen’s Unborn Twin

Thanks Roto-Rooter!

April 23, 2010
Is letterpress too classy for you?

It might be. I’m going to have to credit Martha Stewart with sparking the mainstream revival of the craft.�Everyone settle down.�If Martha and I ever met (someday on NBC 11:00AM CST) I would burst into tears. She’d slap me across the face and tell me to get ahold of myself.�Oh, Martha! You always know just what to do!�Zeichen Press has designed and printed its share of wedding related invitations – and we’re pretty certain that gives us some sort of carbon-neutral status.�How?�It’s pretty complicated – something to do with joy and decency neutralizing our usual gaucheness.

April 14, 2010
Hi, zeichenpress. Martha Stewart is following your tweets on Twitter.

Oh, Martha Stewart!

I wish I could believe that you were following Zeichen Press on Twitter because of�the recycled�Panko Japanese Style Breading box/press kit�I sent you last August…

Or because of the letterpress art print I sent you last October…

Or the baby I sent you last November…

April 2, 2010
More on the new Zeichen Press website

We’ll be shooting our opening�film�using (surprise!) something that pre-dates my birth.

Didn’t I learn my lesson with�that stupid typewriter?

March 29, 2010
The true story behind the Zeichen Press logo:

Okay, let’s call her “Sheila” and let’s call him “Franz Ferdinand.”

She resented every one of his hair-plugs. Row after row of weak little sprouts – such an offensive landscape. Each bloody little ring contained 4-5 “transplant hairs,” the math was easy enough – she figured that each stubby hair cost $7.40. Her pre-taxed, hourly wage at the Seed-N-Feed was $7.45 – barely enough to cover the cost of a single hair.

He had convinced her that the new hair would make him a better dancer. She knew now that it did not – his “moves” reminded her of the farmhands baling hay. Each jerky swinging of his arms nearly punching her in the stomach.

His unemployment was running out and now, thanks to this unwise investment, they would have to move into his mother’s trailer. Her whole life she wanted to be a professional dancer and had been searching for the perfect partner – why hadn’t she listened to her gut or that certified psychic that really seemed to understand her? Still, she danced with him – her graceful movements, her twirling skirt – he would have been captivated by her beauty if he wasn’t so fixated on the pounding in his chest.�

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Wow! We all know what happens next. Thank the Lord she knows CPR�and�that despite the bitterness the hair-plugs caused, she still wanted to keep him alive. Sheila and Franz Ferdinand might just make it.

March 29, 2010
Here’s the part about salvaging letterpress equipment:

People (my mom) always (whenever she feigns interest) ask me,�“where do you get this stuff?”�Type, cabinets, printer’s cuts, ink, chases, quoins, sticks, cutters, furniture, leads, slugs, tympan, rollers… letterpress takes up a lot more space than this tidy little laptop. I wonder if that’s one of the reasons people stopped using it?�I doubt it.

Jen and I both agreed that our favorite salvaging-situation involved a compulsive hoarder with a murder/torture-pit (alleged) in his basement. This house had it all; two commercial espresso machines:

two Kluge Printing Presses:

(just in case you’re wondering: TWO Kluge Printing presses are massive and�would�look like�this�if not covered in books, dvd’s, televisions, kleenex boxes, grocery bags, magazines and mail):

a family-style restaurant booth: (this suspiciously barricaded the basement door)

dozens of old computers: (so sentimental)

“stackable” type cabinets: (we took these)

and this:

and this:

Oh, here’s a fun game:

Can you find the treasure in this photographic vignette?:

How about here?:

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Oh, well. Enough of the sweet, sweet memories. Here’s part of our latest salvage:

March 21, 2010
A long, long time ago there was no Tanek. Only empty space.

I loved when Mom would get out the Scotch-tape and add my latest work to the dining room wall.

I’m not sure if one day she ran out of paper or tape – but she also let me paint right on the windows and the refrigerator.

I spent the last 10 weeks art directing Tanek’s new website. It was very similar to painting on the refrigerator except without paints or a refrigerator. I worked on the project with�my old boss. Don’t confuse this old boss with another old boss I had at the Leeann Chin in Richfield, circa 1989.

You can go look at the new Tanek site. It’s not painted on the fridge or hanging on the dining room wall but it’s still super awesome.�You can really build with the masthead blocks! …�Actually,�that gives me an idea… build something cool, take a screen grab and�e-mail it to Zeichen Press�- WHY? I’ll pick the best one, send out some fancy letterpress cards to the winner and�publish�it on the blog.

HEY! This is fun!

March 9, 2010
Potato-Guns and Make Magazine

The other day, I needed to learn how to make a potato gun.�It doesn’t matter why.�Anyway, I made my way to the�MAKE Magazine blog�- If you haven’t been – I don’t know what to say. It’s not like we can’t be friends. It will just never be more than that.

So, they are doing this�Maker Business Series�and I thought, “hey, I make things… I own a business…” The potato gun would just have to wait.�Sorry Edmund.�…I sent an e-mail to someone named Gareth (Jen keeps referring to Gareth as “her” – I don’t have the heart to correct her) and told him about Zeichen Press – he responded and then it turned into an interview and…�Go read it!!

March 5, 2010
Wake up call

I try�so�hard. Really, I do. I try to follow the rules.

I’m jealous of those people (is it everyone?) that climb out of bed at a respectable hour, get dressed, fuss with their hair, apply make-up, brush their teeth, read the paper, make and drink a cup of coffee…

In high school, my morning carpool (I say “carpool” but really it was just my friends carting me around like some sort of package. A smoking, swearing package) would lay on her horn outside my house while I lay in my bed – dreaming that I was missing tests because I was laying in bed dreaming that I was missing tests.

February 24, 2010