Zeichen Press – Page 39 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Teaching strange children

As we pulled up in the parking lot to our Pre-School Speaking Engagement, Jen reminded me not to swear in front of the children. I told her I would do my best but I wouldn’t make any promises and that sometimes I need to use strong language to really make my point… sometimes I need to use strong language when children REFUSE TO BEHAVE.

I’m kidding. I told Jen to stick it in a hole. She’s not the boss of me. Then she slapped me good and hard. I can’t say that I blame her.

It took a few minutes for the kids to warm up to me. My costume might have confused them. Anyway, I brought a chase locked up with wood type and set it on the floor.

When I was a kid, I saw a kid throw another kid’s shoe into the Primate Den at The Como Zoo. The monkeys approached cautiously but before long they were all over that shoe. They wanted that shoe. I was fascinated. But then I was distracted because of�another�kid. A�mischievous boy who met his match�while trying to climb over a spike-tipped, wrought-iron fence.

I love the zoo.

January 29, 2009
Voodoo

What in the ding-dang are these city-folk up to now??!! Putting pins in good folks and charging money for it?! I got myself some thumbtacks and I can put ’em anywhere you damn well please and charge you half ‘n what these quacks are taking. You mark my words, next there’s gonna be all kinds of potions and maybe even some of that herb smoking. I got news for you:

This ain’t California.

We like our doctors wearing stethoscopes and blue pants. We like our doctors to give us shots when we don’t feel good. We like being sent to the pharmacist. WE LIKE IT.

Oh, flibbity flam. I’ve got some noodlin’ to do. Have a look at some of Fran’s “work” for Performance Acupuncture.
Logos… What the?

January 23, 2009
The calm before the sh*t storm

One of my stalkers used to say, “I’ve gottalotta things in the hopper. A lot. In the hopper.” I often wondered if one of those things in the hopper was making a skin suit out of me. But I never asked – I love surprises. He once chased me on roller skates. I wasn’t even scared. Now, the cab-driver… the stalking cab-driver, he was a little scary. Although… he’d drive by an Old Country Buffet and�was so high he’d often forget he was stalking me. He just couldn’t resist the chicken-fried-chicken.�

But enough of these bedtime stories!

WE’VE got a lot of things in the hopper: A Logo, Oscar-luncheon-gift-bag-goodies, a show at a gallery, a speaking engagement in front of pre-schoolers, a bat mitzvah invitation, more stupid catalogs. I’m nervous about the speaking engagement. If I make eye-contact with any one of those children they’ll own me. The last thing I need is a room full of kids throwing lead type at my head.

In preparation for the upcoming events I decided that someone should clean our little shop of horrors. Someone did. Isn’t it cute? *Note the framed photo of Kelly Clarkson next to the hanging hammer.

January 22, 2009
Won’t you be my neighbor?

Hot Plate‘s�Mexican Omelette was again sending me messages. Who am I to ignore them? I just do what I’m told.

Exhausted from an earlier outing, I had my husband drive our team of horses. I was cozy warm because I stuffed hot potatoes in my pants.

While I devoured my second Mexican Omelette of the week I chatted with owner, Carrie Lewis. She told me a tale. A tale that reminded me of how dark the soul can be… a tale of the flawed nature of humanity. I openly wept as she about her passive aggressive neighbors. And, as I sipped my 9th delicious latte, I formulated a plan: I would counter the negativity directed at�The Best Restaurant on the South Side�by channeling the Prince of Peace, Mr. Rogers.

Who better to handle bad neighborhood karma than him? I can think of no one. I have created this card and will be making a plate asap. Reserve one (or five) today because they will be selling faster than Hot Plate’s pumpkin pancakes.

January 19, 2009
May my suffering bring you joy

Only my fellow Minnesotans and residents of�Chicken, Alaska�can truly understand what it means to be cold. I am intrigued by deadly weather. Cold that can freeze a limb solid. Cold that flattens your car tires. Cold that makes your eyeballs feel funny. I braved the extreme cold today.

Twice.

-21� is COLD. But a Mexican Omelette was whispering my name with such longing… I put on every bit of clothing I own and headed outside. The car actually told me to F – Off. I reminded it that we were both in this together and that if it cooperated I would fill it up with Premium Gasoline. Foolish car, choosing gasoline over Mexican Omelette!

When I was safely inside of�Hot Plate�I laughed… Oh, how I laughed – and saluted the outdoors for being a worthy adversary. Later that day (that SAME day) I went outside again. I actually ran to the studio. It took 1.5 seconds. Luckily my exposed body part (my bottom) was unharmed.

Where was I? Oh, yes. I risked my limbs (and bottom) to run to the studio and lay out previously written cards. Three birthday cards. The metal type was awfully cold. I wanted to lick it but I exercised restraint.

January 16, 2009
Back in the shop

The low magenta toner has put a hold on the catalog production. I am really, really upset about it. I’d like to spend more time with the new laser printer. Understanding its quirks, its likes and dislikes. What makes it get out of bed every morning? Does it enjoy being my slave? Don’t worry, Brother HL-4070CDW – this is only temporary. Jen paid the extra $3.99 for shipping and your toner will be here Wednesday. Thank you, Jen. I mean it.�

So I spent the day in the shop. Despite my tears I was able to lay out some previously written cards. I think the anguish really comes through. I am, after all, an artist. My soul is appropriately tortured. Whoa is me.

January 12, 2009

-33� in Brainerd

That’s where I am. Will I ever be able to get back to Minneapolis? Stay tuned.

And, just because I’m a little obsessed with the weather, I gathered some very important figures. -�Record low temperatures in The United States of America:

State	Temp.	Date	Station	Elevation
Alabama	-27	Jan. 30, 1966	New Market	760
Alaska	-80	Jan. 23, 1971	Prospect Creek	1,100
Arizona	-40	Jan.� 7, 1971	Hawley Lake	8,180
Arkansas	-29	Feb. 13, 1905	Pond	1,250
California	-45	Jan. 20, 1937	Boca	5,532
Colorado	-61	Feb.� 1, 1985	Maybell	5,920
Connecticut	-32	Feb. 16, 1943	Falls Village	585
Delaware	-17	Jan. 17, 1893	Millsboro	20
Florida	– 2	Feb. 13, 1899	Tallahassee	193
Georgia	-17	Jan. 27, 1940	Mauna Kea	13,770
Idaho	-60	Jan. 18, 1943	Island Park Dam	6,285
Illinois	-36	Jan.� 5, 1999	Congerville	722
Indiana	-36	Jan. 19, 1994	New Whiteland	785
Iowa	-47	Feb.� 3, 1996*	Elkader	770
Kansas	-40	Feb. 13, 1905	Lebanon	1,812
Kentucky	-37	Jan. 19, 1994	Shelbyville	730
Louisiana	-16	Feb. 13, 1899	Minden	194
Maine	-48	Jan. 19, 1925	Van Buren	458
Maryland	-40	Jan. 13, 1912	Oakland	2,461
Massachusetts	-35	Jan. 12, 1981	Chester	640
Michigan	-51	Feb.� 9, 1934	Vanderbilt	785
Minnesota	-60	Feb.� 2, 1996	Tower	1,430
Mississippi	-19	Jan. 30, 1966	Corinth	420
Missouri	-40	Feb. 13, 1905	Warsaw	700
Montana	-70	Jan. 20, 1954	Rogers Pass	5,470
Nebraska	-47	Feb. 12, 1899	Camp Clarke	3,700
Nevada	-50	Jan.� 8, 1937	San Jacinto	5,200
New Hampshire	-47	Jan. 29, 1934	Mt. Washington	6,288
New Jersey	-34	Jan.� 5, 1904	River Vale	70
New Mexico	-50	Feb.� 1, 1951	Gavilan	7,350
New York	-52	Feb. 18, 1979*	Old Forge	1,720
North Carolina	-34	Jan. 21, 1985	Mt. Mitchell	6,525
North Dakota	-60	Feb. 15, 1936	Parshall	1,929
Ohio	-39	Feb. 10, 1899	Milligan	800
Oklahoma	-27	Jan. 18, 1930	Watts	958
Oregon	-54	Feb. 10, 1933*	Seneca	4,700
Pennsylvania	-42	Jan.� 5, 1904	Smethport	est. 1,500
Rhode Island	-25	Feb.� 5, 1996	Greene	425
South Carolina	-19	Jan. 21, 1985	Caesars Head	3,100
South Dakota	-58	Feb. 17, 1936	McIntosh	2,277
Tennessee	-32	Dec. 30, 1917	Mountain City	2,471
Texas	-23	Feb.� 8, 1933*	Seminole	3,275
Utah	-69	Feb.� 1, 1985	Peter’s Sink	8,092
Vermont	-50	Dec. 30, 1933	Bloomfield	915
Virginia	-30	Jan. 22, 1985	Mountain Lake	3,870
Washington	-48	Dec. 30, 1968	Mazama	2,120
West Virginia	-37	Dec. 30, 1917	Lewisburg	2,200
Wisconsin	-55	Feb.4,�� 1996	Couderay	1,300
Wyoming	-66	Feb.� 9, 1933	Riverside	6,650

AND before we start killing and eating each other,�we are entertaining ourselves by throwing boiling water into the cold air.

rob-turns-water-to-steam

January 2, 2010

0�, Hydraulics and a Hair Dryer

Why is it that the one time I leave my house something awesome happens?? Jack drove the�Heidelberg Windmill�down from Wahpeton, North Dakota this morning. Drove it right down to our fancy studio.

I’m in Brainerd not running around the house in my underwear and Jen is back at ZP headquarters. Who knew (Jack the mover knew) that the press was going to be delivered TODAY? Apparently, the hydraulic part of the pallet jack (not Jack the mover) didn’t love the 0�. I guess it was frozen and I’m no expert but that seems like a setback. Jen called me wondering where she could find a hair dryer. I don’t know why she wanted to style her hair but I’m not going to judge. Apparently, Jen’s beautiful hair did the trick because the new press is safe and sound in the SW corner of the shop.

January 2, 2010
It’s ART!! DO YOU HEAR ME?? ART!!

Alphabetically speaking,�Zeichen�follows�Warhol�in the�Room and Board�dictionary. Andy Warhol and Zeichen Press sit side-by-side on the�Wall Art page�- I don’t want to speak for Mr. Warhol BUT I’ll bet he is�thrilled�with the proximity… This might be just�the thing to jump-start his career… Good luck, Andy!! You weird, prolific little man!!

So, back on the R&B website – here’s what the description�DOESN’T�say:

Produced entirely by hand using
vintage (super old) printing equipment,
Zeichen Press creates this letterpress
design exclusively for us in their
Minneapolis studio. Actually, they call
it a studio but really it was once the
family garage – an issue that nearly
cost the owner (Fran Shea) her marriage,
and more importantly, the garage.
I mean, studio. Using a centuries-old
manual printing method, they set salvaged,
antique type by hand in limited print runs
to give the work a one-of-a-kind quality
that feels both modern and classic.
��
They edited that copy down to the nub! But I suppose they know best.

Have a look at these photos: GASP!�They make me want to buy one of my own prints!

December 27, 2009
The strong would survive the winter. The weak would, of course, be eaten.

The Long Winter�is the true tale of a Minnesota family surviving one of the most brutal Winters in our recorded history. Trapped in the house – day after day after day – the blizzard makes it impossible to see out the window or even walk out to the barn without getting lost. Good ol’ Pa rigs up a rope to follow, he is always coming up with some creative solution! Ma follows that rope because Pa finds himself trapped in a ditch by the creek. The wood pile dwindles to nothing and the family is forced to twist hay into little bundles – they would burn these in the cast-iron stove to heat their little house. … Tough, brown bread is the only food left to eat.

Or is it?

What if that was on the jacket flap? I’d totally read that book.

December 24, 2009
It’s time for Christmas rejects!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SH1j1luFOw&feature=related

Gosh, that’s a scary movie! Those poor misfit toys… the choo-choo with the square wheels, the pistol that shoots jelly, the effeminate jack-in-the-box… �I think the jack-in-the-box and that little dentist-elf would make a cute couple.

Okay, so I keep trying to design something to print on these FIVE THOUSAND BEVERAGE COASTERS that we have lying around. I guess no one cares about preserving the shine and luster of their finished furniture.

I think that’s barbaric.

Maybe they think it sends the wrong message? I don’t. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to booze it up through the 12 days of Christmas. In fact, it is acceptable all year round IF you set your drink on one of our beverage coasters. (Was that some sort of plug?? Yes.�Here’s a link:�AND here’s one I designed just for�Touchpoint Retail. It has the recipe for a candy cane martini�right on it.�Isn’t that handy??�

They decided to go with a card design from the Zeichen Press line but JUST TO BE DIFFICULT (I mean,�sui generis.) they had us print it on an oversized SQUARE coaster. But I must admit, it’s pretty darn nice.

December 18, 2009
Two-timing ZP

But I LOVE�you�Zeichen Press! I do. It’s just that�Tanek�has something (money) that you don’t have. Does that sound shallow? It’s not, I swear. It’s not just the money.�They�make me coffee. AND they�tell�me I do good work. You just sit there and take. And take and take and take – a word that comes to mind is “relentless.” But not in a bad way. Did I mention�they’re architects? I know!�Restaurants,�retail,�residential… Wait, did I mention�restaurants?… Of course you had to know, the signs were everywhere. Remember when I made those Tanek paper dolls?�

Or that 4-color halftone?

Wait, that was just last week. Anyway, I’m totally NOT breaking up with you. I’m just going to be seeing them�too.�But that’s cool, right? Don’t be so selfish.

**Editor’s Note: What does this mean??? Zeichen Press is just doing some marketing for�Tanek.

December 13, 2009
Just a Christmas Card

No big deal.

Just a photoshopped-four-color-halftone-letterpress-printed Christmas Card.

Jen and I were like, “Oh, that’s cool. For a Christmas card.”

December 10, 2009
No Coast 2009, Sleestacks and ANOTHER Doppelganger

WHEW! What a weekend!

First of all,�Amanda�came to my house to do my hair.

She did.

Shut up.

I totally care about how I look. It seemed strange to look so beautiful AND carry 500 lbs of cards from a loading dock to a folding table. But I did it for the kids. Jen and I have worked out a system of communication that really facilitates a speedy set up: Jen orders me around like some sort of slave and I stifle sobs behind my Crying Scarf.

There was another letterpress company about 10 feet away from us and we had to fight to defend our turf. Zeichen Press ended up winning because we have better dance moves and we bribed the judges with Bazooka gum.

I figured out something pretty important on Saturday morning: I look like a Sleestack.

OH! Another thing that was pretty amazing: That dapper gent from one of our new cards actually bought the card that he is on!

I love a handsome man with a wallet full of cash. (Do you hear me, Kenny?!)

Let’s see… oh, yes.. the show was jam-packed and we made gobs of moola. I mean, we spread the joy of the season through letterpress goodness.

Here’s me laughing at one of my own jokes:

And here’s Jen endlessly fussing over a display:

I almost forgot to share this bit of news: Somebody actually stole an entire stack of these:

What the???

She must be a professional stalker.

December 7, 2009
Mr. Heidelberg… you RASCAL!

If all goes according to my master plan, 2,500 pounds of love will soon be mine.

2,500 pounds…

That’s one of these:

Or two of him:

Are you intrigued??

November 22, 2009
There Is No Turning Back

The new logo has been crafted of copper and is ready for printing.

…But who are those people supposed to be?? And why does the woman wear her hair as if it were 1986?? Only I know the answers to these mysteries and I have just boarded a train headed for Zermatt.

November 17, 2009