• The Big Picture

    This is the face of a girl who got a globe for Christmas the year before. A girl determined to prove to everyone how much she needed; NAY, deserved the Lite-Brite. fran-lite-brite

    Santa would never make that mistake again. 

    This determination guided the girl for a lifetime, nothing would stand between her and her singleminded fixations. Fran etch a sketch

    NOTHING.

    fran-covered-in-kittens

    One of the latest obstacles were some pesky illustrated creatures 45510_frog_concertwho needed to be removed so one frog could fulfill his God-given right to sing Wayne Newton.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRPILZS1hc8

    And sing he did. 

    darling-danke-schon

    Yours for only $4.50! (SOON.)

    darling-frog

    October 21, 2016
  • Slightly Different

    Usually bragging is reserved for Facebook, family newsletters, and prison cells. But showering has made me feel fancy and solitary confinement has made me such a blabbermouth!
    SO behold our new bathroom:bathroom-newMillie wanted to show off the bathroom but she isn’t tall enough to open the backdoor.squirrel-millie-wordsToo bad we re-screened that door!

    Did that squirrel even know he/she was the color of my new grout?? I’m kidding! I’m sure he/she did!

    Speaking of Dove Gray™ grout, (WERE WE??) I made a new card. Intern #1 said it was Mom Humor. I told her to go to her room.an-elephant-never-forgets

    October 11, 2016
  • Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat.

    Have I mentioned how much Millie The Dog one-dog-named-milliebarks at anything and everything within a 500 foot perimeter of our house? Mailman, delivery-person, solicitors, neighbors, guests, the kids, trick-or-treaters, my mom… We’ve talked a lot about it and she feels super responsible for alerting us – I told her that we really don’t need that kind of help, BUT WE DID. SHE WAS RIGHT. SHE’S ALWAYS RIGHT.

    SO, my driveway was full of a dumpster filled with bathroom remodel debris, Millie was having a staycation with a friend, AND SOME JERK CLIPPED THE LOCK ON OUR SHED AND STOLE MY BIKE.cut-lockAnd he threw the lock in the dirt like some sort of criminal.

    AND THEN, the loser (no judgment) tried to sell MY bike on a site called OfferUp.com.img_3265

    But he is as slippery as an eel wrapped in a banana peel, and disappeared INTO THE NIGHT. Police have been alerted, prayers to St. Anthony have been said. I asked St. Anthony if he could forward my prayers onto the Patron Saint of Stolen Goods and he told me to go back to sleep and stop Googling escutcheons for the new bathroom.

    FINE.

    While I wait for my miracle, I spend days mindlessly migrating ALL of the content from the Zeichen Press site to THE NEW Zeichen Press site. DON’T WORRY, you won’t even be able to tell the difference because we wanted to spend a lot of money on something that nobody notices.

    OH, and Jen got some new/old cutslittle-man-in-cutsso I made a Father’s Day Card out of that little man.go-to-bedBACK TO MIGRATING/WEEPING.

    September 22, 2016
  • Hygiene Tester

    I did the math and figured out that two toilets MINUS one toilet EQUALS one toilet. And one shower MINUS one shower EQUALS zero showers.

    I desperately yelled that equation to the boys during my bathroom demo, but they pretended not to hear me.boys bathroom demoI only gave birth to them to provide me with free manual labor. Ha! Who’s laughing now, boys??

    Anyway, who needs a shower??Arnie GrapeOR a bath??bathroom mid-project.smallI barely do.

    And as soon as all of my family and friends get back from being out of town for a month, they’ll tell you the same.

    Here’s a new birthday card/fantasy:Happy Bidet

    September 5, 2016
  • Jenmas Eve!

    Everyone celebrates Jenmas Eve differently.*I* like to go to Hot Plate SANS Jen to eat a Mexican Omelet surrounded by a gallery of paint-by-number masterpieces.

    Hot Plate wall

    YEARS AGO, Jen (carefully) slaved away over *her* masterpiece and it sits atop a shelf of knick-knacks in Cape Cod. 

    knick knack shelf cape cod jen made thisShe was so dedicated! 

    I bet she knew that someday I’d repay her in birthday cards.

    dog person crazy cat lady

    August 25, 2016
  • Will Design 4… White Italian Cararra Marble Hexagon Tile

    The Art Licensor (RSVP) asked us for some birthday cards and because I love to work/need money, I made nine. I won’t bore you with the details/need to get back to listening to my new podcast (My Favorite Murder).

    Here are a few… Will they choose any???

    Stay tuned.

    rsvp.2.self medicating rsvp.i buried rsvp.your birthday called rsvp.birthday cake.one piece

    Thank you, Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. I can’t wait until Alexis Stewart and I meet you in person!

    August 16, 2016
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  • The Perfect Christmas Cards

    Thank you, Religion News Service, for appreciating the ho-ho-Holiday-humdrum-hole-filling.  religion news service devoured by wolvesAnd thank you, Dinah the Cat, for understanding the true meaning of Christmas.Dinah Christmas 2015And you’re right, you should be in the new Christmas card.merry christmas perfect family

    December 15, 2015
  • Holiday Season Opener

    Oh, No Coast Craft-o-Rama… You never let us down! becky no coast 2015The Midtown Market’s halls were decked and bedazzled with all things Holiday… And handmade goodness was traded for cold-hard-cash.

    The Zeichen Press Empire is always draped in black fabric because black is slimming.

    Here’s a new Christmas card/fantasy?:back door christmas cookies

    December 8, 2015
  • This Time of Year Fills Me With

    this time of yearThe No Coast Craft-O-Rama is TODAY and tomorrow (December 4th and 5th) and Jen has been feverishly printing in preparation.

    She must have been too busy to notice my new woodpile!wood pile.IMG_7916Come see all of the Holiday Goodies at the Midtown Global Market today — Jen will be giving out free hugs with every purchase!

    December 4, 2015
  • THANK YOU!

    Once Upon A Time, my sister got the stomach flu so bad. Poor thing… up in the middle of the night… every bit of food evacuating her body post-haste. Who knew the colon could churn and transform loose stool into clear liquid? Well, my brother found out when he sleep-stumbled into the bathroom and slipped and skated on the translucent trots that never made it into the toilet-bowl.

    See? Analogy. Our gratitude just pours out of us! It’s almost like a medical condition.

    To “give back”, we are hosting Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade!

    Tune in!frand and jen parade-hosts

    November 26, 2015
  • FINE. We can be friends.

    **An Open Letter to Alexis Stewart:

    Dear Alexis Stewart,

    If you want to be friends with me, just ask. You don’t need to buy all of your Christmas and birthday AND Mother’s Day cards from me.

    Friends Forever,

    Fran

    —

    Whew! I’m glad I got that out of the way! Thanks to Mail Chimp, our email-blast campaign was full of success.mail chimp rock on

    Wanna know what Mother’s Day card Martha Stewart is getting in 2016???

    I’LL NEVER TELL!!!

    November 21, 2015
  • Wherein One Woman Does NOT Go Gentle Into That Good Night

    Does my IQ have to be higher to understand Sci-Fi films??  interstellarAs the credits rolled for Interstellar, I whispered, to myself, “whaaat???” Maybe I should have taken 100 classes to prep me? All of that technlogy and time-talk made me wish I was working on the new Zeichen Press catalog that Jen so agressively marked-up.marked up catalog 2016I’LL GET TO IT. As soon as I finish rewatching Mad Men.

    And while I’m (not) doing that, The Internsmall.jen & fran june 2009 and Madge.smiling.cabinetis gallivanting about in Italy like some sort of hippie. Well, let’s just see if you have a studio to come home to. (OMG, I’M KIDDING. Please come home. And bring us souvenirs.)

    November 13, 2015
  • #empathycards

    “WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT??”

    ~Fran Shea

    These cards stopped me right in my (dog) poop-covered tracks:emily mcdowell.kill you strongerLet’s be friends, Emily McDowell.

    Too needy? 

    November 4, 2015
  • Non! Je Ne Regrette Rien!

    Dinah always makes such a big deal about choosing paper and envelope color for a new release.

    First, she has Jen print a card:IMG_7551

    And then she does this:

    She is such a taskmaster.

    October 27, 2015
  • NOT YOUR DOORMAT

    Greeting cards would be better if they were huge. And I could wipe my feet on them.

    And what better way to spread the Good Word of Zeichen Press than by emblazoning it upon the doormat of every doorstep for every home throughout the land?High Cotton.revised wrapped in baconHigh Cotton makes lots of things, for lots of people. And now they will make doormats for us. I mean, for you. They’ll make doormats for you. Designed by us.high cotton.what the duck gray

    October 26, 2015
  • Gracias…

    …El Niño. I know I’m supposed to be cursing Climate Change… I KNOW.

    But how can I curse when meteorologists are predicting a warmer-than-usual winter??

    I must embrace the phenomenon the way a mother embraces her wayward son.

    IN OTHER NEWS, Jen and I chose 12 cards for the next release using darts, a cardboard cutout of Steve Buscemi, and our first-aid kit.

    Here’s a teaser:curse this curse.vertAnd because I always plan ahead, here’s a new Father’s Day card:GOLF browner

    October 17, 2015
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