Zeichen Press – Page 6 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

TOPLESS WOMAN MOLESTED BY LOCAL SEAL

Wellfleet, Massachusetts

A Minneapolis woman dove into the icy Atlantic Monday morning in an attempt to “meet a seal”.
Assuring onlookers that the attempt was an “act of diplomacy” she swam a distance of approximately 50 yards using a stroke known as the�Dog-Paddle. She met the 350 pound Harbor Seal unaware that the top of her two-piece bathing swimsuit had become untied and dropped to her waist. The woman is reported to have said that the seal reacted to the introduction like “some sort of wild animal” … “His flippers were all over me.”

July 22, 2009
Fran gets new glasses!

Observe this medical marvel:

July 13, 2009
David Hasselhoff, Jerry Lewis, Zeichen Press

The closest I’ve been to Australia is the�Victoria’s Filet�at the�Outback Steakhouse�in Blaine, MN (pop: 44,942). I’m not sure who to thank for introducing�Zeichen Press�to our Australian cousins. Maybe�Ampersand Duck�had something to do with it or maybe it was my grassroots advertising campaign. I stuffed (but first I drank) 1000 bottles of wine with�Zeichen Press Cards�and threw them into the Atlantic Ocean.

Maybe one washed up on the shores of Melbourne because this showed up in their newspaper:

Our�CanCards�are their�Object of Desire.�Thank you, Australia.

Someday I will visit you. And your kangaroos. And your boomerangs.

July 10, 2009
Seven Pounds is the name of the movie not the weight of my head

About a jillion years ago, I was contacted by some Hollywood set designer – she wanted to know if I had extra letterpress “JUNK JUNK JUNK” for a new movie starring Rosario Dawson and Will Smith. Wait. What?! Trembling, I clutched my Fresh Prince of Bel Air collection to my chest and replied, “Oh, that’s cool. Yeah, I could Fed Ex some stuff to you guys – I won’t charge extra for the dust.” (Followed by cool and knowing laughter). What a comfortable rapport! I was talking TO Hollywood. Maybe they’d ask me to audition for the movie! The movie… Maybe Rosario Dawson needed an understudy… or a body double?

We could be twins!

I asked the set designer when they’d like to fly me out, explaining that my schedule was flexible enough to�accommodate movie- shoots, sightseeing,�and�pool-parties. She told me she’d have her people call my people.

ANYWAY, it turns out they were able to pull the set together without my JUNK JUNK JUNK�and�Rosario politely declined my offer — we’re still totally friends

…So I finally watched The Movie last night. Ummm, Will Smith can fix my press anytime. Is that my review? Is that all I have to say? … Uhh, Rosario was convincingly ill and I bawled like a baby. There. Happy?? OH, and the garage-studio was super cute and perfect.

PS: Strangely, Rosario’s character ALSO nicknamed her press�The Beast.�What?!�

June 24, 2009
96�

I’m dripping with sweat. I’m marinating in sweat – the shop has got to be 100� . My head feels fuzzy… and my hands (are those�my�hands?) are leaving sweat-finger-prints on all the paper that I’m cutting.

Wait, I smell barbecue chicken! Wait, maybe I’m on fire…. False alarm. It’s really chicken.

So, I’m cutting paper in my bathing suit. I feel like I’m wearing a snowsuit in a sauna.

I love summer. I’m not even kidding.

June 23, 2009
Wanamingo

My kitchen faucet broke (again) and as I crouched on the patio with the garden hose and plastic scrubby, my mind wandered to faraway lands. Specifically, Wanamingo, Minnesota. Oh, Wanamingo! Has anyone written an ode to thee? I was in Wanamingo today and overheard this “conversation” between a mother and child at the 60 Stop Gas Station:

Child: “I �want eggs for breakfast.”

Mother: ” You can’t get everything you want. I wanted flowers for Mother’s Day and I got nuthin’!”

Oh, well. The REAL Wanamingo is full of chickens, barn cats, fictional alpacas and acres of hard-working folks that build chicken coops and excavate pig cemeteries – just for fun. These people walk around with just a hint of a smile, a smile that says, “I chop the logs to heat my house. I know how to grow potatoes. I know the difference between bush beans and pole beans.”

They also spend the Winter trying not to recreate a scene from The Shining.

I’M JUST SAYING.

Okay, so maybe I don’t have what it takes to step off the grid and live like Ma Kettle. Maybe the closest I get to feeling the heartland is living with a broken faucet. Fetching water for cooking makes me feel like a barbarian.

In between all my water fetching I made this :

It’s gonna be BIG people.

BIG.

June 13, 2009

The Perfect Christmas Cards

Thank you,�Religion News Service, for�appreciating�the ho-ho-Holiday-humdrum-hole-filling. �And thank you, Dinah the Cat, for understanding the true meaning of Christmas.And you’re right, you should be in the new Christmas card.

December 15, 2015
Holiday Season Opener

Oh,�No Coast Craft-o-Rama… You never let us down!�The�Midtown Market’s halls were decked and bedazzled with all things Holiday… And handmade�goodness was traded for cold-hard-cash.

The Zeichen Press Empire is always draped in black fabric because black is slimming.

Here’s a new Christmas card/fantasy?:

December 8, 2015
This Time of Year Fills Me With

The�No Coast Craft-O-Rama�is TODAY�and tomorrow�(December 4th and 5th) and Jen has been feverishly printing in preparation.

She must have been too busy to notice my new woodpile!Come see all of the Holiday Goodies at the�Midtown Global Market�today � Jen will be giving out free hugs with every purchase!

December 4, 2015
THANK YOU!

Once Upon A Time,�my sister got the stomach flu so bad. Poor thing… up in the middle of the night… every bit of food evacuating her body post-haste. Who knew the colon could churn and transform loose stool into clear�liquid? Well, my brother found out when he sleep-stumbled into the bathroom and slipped and skated on the translucent trots that never made it into the toilet-bowl.

See? Analogy. Our gratitude just pours out of us! It’s almost like a medical condition.

To “give back”, we are hosting Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade!

Tune in!

November 26, 2015
FINE. We can be friends.

**An Open Letter to Alexis Stewart:

Dear Alexis Stewart,

If you want to be friends with me, just ask. You don’t need to buy all of your Christmas and birthday AND Mother’s Day cards from me.

Friends Forever,

Fran

—

Whew! I’m glad I got that out of the way! Thanks to�Mail Chimp, our email-blast campaign was full of success.

Wanna know what�Mother’s Day�card�Martha Stewart�is getting in 2016???

I’LL NEVER TELL!!!

November 21, 2015
Wherein One Woman Does NOT Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Does my IQ have to be higher to understand Sci-Fi films?? �As the credits rolled for Interstellar, I whispered, to myself,�“whaaat???”�Maybe I should have taken 100 classes to prep me? All of that technlogy and time-talk made me wish I was working on the new Zeichen Press catalog that Jen so agressively marked-up.I’LL GET TO IT. As soon as I finish rewatching Mad Men.

And while I’m (not) doing that,�The Internis�gallivanting about in Italy like some sort of hippie. Well, let’s just see if you have a studio to come home to. (OMG, I’M KIDDING. Please come home. And bring us souvenirs.)

November 13, 2015
#empathycards

“WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT??”

~Fran Shea

These cards�stopped me right in my (dog) poop-covered tracks:Let’s be friends,�Emily McDowell.

Too needy?�

November 4, 2015
Non! Je Ne Regrette Rien!

Dinah always makes�such�a big deal about choosing paper and envelope color for a new release.

First, she has Jen print a card:

And then she does this:

She is such a taskmaster.

October 27, 2015
NOT YOUR DOORMAT

Greeting cards would be better if they were huge. And I could wipe my feet on them.

And what better way to spread the Good Word of Zeichen Press than by emblazoning it upon the doormat of�every doorstep for every home throughout the land?High Cotton�makes lots of things, for lots of people. And now they will make doormats for us. I mean,�for you.�They’ll make doormats for you. Designed by us.

October 26, 2015
Gracias…

…El Ni�o.�I know I’m supposed to be cursing Climate Change… I KNOW.

But how can I curse when meteorologists are predicting a�warmer-than-usual�winter??

I must embrace the phenomenon the way a mother embraces her wayward son.

IN OTHER NEWS, Jen and I chose 12 cards for the next release using darts, a cardboard cutout of Steve Buscemi, and our first-aid kit.

Here’s a teaser:And because I always plan ahead, here’s a new Father’s Day card:

October 17, 2015