Zeichen Press – Page 12 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

TOPLESS WOMAN MOLESTED BY LOCAL SEAL

Wellfleet, Massachusetts

A Minneapolis woman dove into the icy Atlantic Monday morning in an attempt to “meet a seal”.
Assuring onlookers that the attempt was an “act of diplomacy” she swam a distance of approximately 50 yards using a stroke known as the�Dog-Paddle. She met the 350 pound Harbor Seal unaware that the top of her two-piece bathing swimsuit had become untied and dropped to her waist. The woman is reported to have said that the seal reacted to the introduction like “some sort of wild animal” … “His flippers were all over me.”

July 22, 2009
Fran gets new glasses!

Observe this medical marvel:

July 13, 2009
David Hasselhoff, Jerry Lewis, Zeichen Press

The closest I’ve been to Australia is the�Victoria’s Filet�at the�Outback Steakhouse�in Blaine, MN (pop: 44,942). I’m not sure who to thank for introducing�Zeichen Press�to our Australian cousins. Maybe�Ampersand Duck�had something to do with it or maybe it was my grassroots advertising campaign. I stuffed (but first I drank) 1000 bottles of wine with�Zeichen Press Cards�and threw them into the Atlantic Ocean.

Maybe one washed up on the shores of Melbourne because this showed up in their newspaper:

Our�CanCards�are their�Object of Desire.�Thank you, Australia.

Someday I will visit you. And your kangaroos. And your boomerangs.

July 10, 2009
Seven Pounds is the name of the movie not the weight of my head

About a jillion years ago, I was contacted by some Hollywood set designer – she wanted to know if I had extra letterpress “JUNK JUNK JUNK” for a new movie starring Rosario Dawson and Will Smith. Wait. What?! Trembling, I clutched my Fresh Prince of Bel Air collection to my chest and replied, “Oh, that’s cool. Yeah, I could Fed Ex some stuff to you guys – I won’t charge extra for the dust.” (Followed by cool and knowing laughter). What a comfortable rapport! I was talking TO Hollywood. Maybe they’d ask me to audition for the movie! The movie… Maybe Rosario Dawson needed an understudy… or a body double?

We could be twins!

I asked the set designer when they’d like to fly me out, explaining that my schedule was flexible enough to�accommodate movie- shoots, sightseeing,�and�pool-parties. She told me she’d have her people call my people.

ANYWAY, it turns out they were able to pull the set together without my JUNK JUNK JUNK�and�Rosario politely declined my offer — we’re still totally friends

…So I finally watched The Movie last night. Ummm, Will Smith can fix my press anytime. Is that my review? Is that all I have to say? … Uhh, Rosario was convincingly ill and I bawled like a baby. There. Happy?? OH, and the garage-studio was super cute and perfect.

PS: Strangely, Rosario’s character ALSO nicknamed her press�The Beast.�What?!�

June 24, 2009
96�

I’m dripping with sweat. I’m marinating in sweat – the shop has got to be 100� . My head feels fuzzy… and my hands (are those�my�hands?) are leaving sweat-finger-prints on all the paper that I’m cutting.

Wait, I smell barbecue chicken! Wait, maybe I’m on fire…. False alarm. It’s really chicken.

So, I’m cutting paper in my bathing suit. I feel like I’m wearing a snowsuit in a sauna.

I love summer. I’m not even kidding.

June 23, 2009
Wanamingo

My kitchen faucet broke (again) and as I crouched on the patio with the garden hose and plastic scrubby, my mind wandered to faraway lands. Specifically, Wanamingo, Minnesota. Oh, Wanamingo! Has anyone written an ode to thee? I was in Wanamingo today and overheard this “conversation” between a mother and child at the 60 Stop Gas Station:

Child: “I �want eggs for breakfast.”

Mother: ” You can’t get everything you want. I wanted flowers for Mother’s Day and I got nuthin’!”

Oh, well. The REAL Wanamingo is full of chickens, barn cats, fictional alpacas and acres of hard-working folks that build chicken coops and excavate pig cemeteries – just for fun. These people walk around with just a hint of a smile, a smile that says, “I chop the logs to heat my house. I know how to grow potatoes. I know the difference between bush beans and pole beans.”

They also spend the Winter trying not to recreate a scene from The Shining.

I’M JUST SAYING.

Okay, so maybe I don’t have what it takes to step off the grid and live like Ma Kettle. Maybe the closest I get to feeling the heartland is living with a broken faucet. Fetching water for cooking makes me feel like a barbarian.

In between all my water fetching I made this :

It’s gonna be BIG people.

BIG.

June 13, 2009

Pantone 801 Uncoated Period (Periodo Azul)

Remember how I promised that when my painkillers wore off, I’d make a card based on�The Lung Collapsing Event? It turns out that I only needed them for a couple of days and flushed the rest�~ DON’T GET ANY IDEAS ~�and then I made this breakup card:

September 28, 2014
#AmericanMadeMSL AND The Land of Counterpane

Recovering from a collapsed lung is the perfect time to learn all about hashtags.

Thank you, lung!

I obsessively�tweeted�and nagged everyone on�Facebook. I’M SORRY EVERYONE.

Wait,�#HelpMe.

It’s been a�trending/not-trending�rollercoaster-week for Zeichen Press…YOU MUST REALLY BE SUFFERING!

But may the�best (wo)man (named Fran and Jen)�win.�Did I mention that you have to vote 6x every day through October 13th?�And did I mention that my doctor told me that my other lung will collapse if we don’t win??

PS: I made a new Mother’s Day card…

September 26, 2014
Voting is a Good Thing

Running for student council vice president of my Freshman class was so stressful! Our platform was twofold:

1) Instruct � and therefore unify � our class via a comprehensive Class Cheer: “Nine-tee! Nine-tee! Ninetyninetyninety nine-tee!!! YAYYYY!!”

2) Oh, I guess it was only a onefold platform…

NEEDLESS TO SAY, votes were cast, and I won. It was a real nail-biter.

SPEAKING OF VOTING, you can finally start�voting for Zeichen Press here!

And you can (and should!!) vote 6x per day! SIX TIMES. PER DAY.

September 15, 2014
Attack of the Spontaneous Pneumothorax!

Yikes! That sounds scary!

Lungs are not�supposed�to collapse, but that’s what makes life so exciting! Sunday mornings could be all jejune French toast and bacon, OR they could be all ambulance and emergency surgery.(I was just as stoic as the�woman in the above illustration while they performed�my�surgery. Eyes wide open, no tears.)

Life is so full of twists and turns!

There is nothing like having your very own chest tube � my aunt said it was my friend. And indeed it was! My little friend with a one-way valve who caused me nothing but suffering. After just two days, the doctor pulled my friend out of my chest � and again, like the woman in the illustration: I was stoic, with eyes wide open and no tears.

I’ll write a card about this as soon as my painkillers wear off.

September 10, 2014
We want to be more than just friends with: Portobello Road and Rags

Portobello Road and Rags�-> 4 Dock Street Edgartown, Martha’s Vineyard, MA

ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

Great. Now I�HAVE�to go to Martha’s Vineyard.But I’ll do it for you, reader, because I’m a giver. A GIVER.

Will residents of Martha’s Vineyard embrace Zeichen Press cards? Will they clutch them to their breast while weeping�tears of joy and relief?? WILL THEY??

Oh, Carly Simon! Let�us both�wear our overalls, place one of our feet delicately upon a fieldstone wall, and laugh and laugh while we read Zeichen Press cards that we (you) bought�from Portobello Road!

Yes, LET’S.

September 6, 2014
American Made… FINALIST!

Zeichen Press is a finalist for Martha Stewart’s American Made contest.�

YOU HEARD ME.

The Grand Prize is $10,000 and Martha legally adopting the winner. Alexis is so tired of being an only child. Remember when I told you to SHARE the�American Made�Zeichen�Press�page�on Facebook and twitter??

WHY?

BECAUSE I’M ACTIVATING MY SOCIAL NETWORK TO EARN A FINALIST SPOT!H elp!

And don’t worry, I’ll be harassing you on Sept 15th to vote for us…

Here’s the script they gave me: The judges have named me a 2014 @AmericanMadeMSL Awards finalist. Support & share my work to get involved! #celebratethemaker

September 1, 2014
American Made!

We make things!

We live in America!�

“American Made�spotlights the maker, supports the local, and celebrates the handmade. The program is made up of people and communities that have turned their passion for quality craftsmanship and well-designed goods into a way of life.”

A WAY OF LIFE.

BAM.

In order for Martha to notice Zeichen Press�(umm, she should really just ask Alexis about us)�YOU need to SHARE our American Made nomination page with all of your Facebook friends and twitter followers:

� Step one: Click this�link.

� Step two: Scroll down a teensy bit on that page.

� Step three: Click button that looks like this:(WARNING: The above image IS NOT AN ACTUAL BUTTON, MOM)

� Step four: Follow instructions.

PS: I love you.

PPS: Deadline is Friday! NO BIG DEAL.

August 27, 2014
Ode to Jen

Merry Jenmas, everyone!

MY dog must have been confused, she left birthday presents�for Jen�on my living room floor last night?�Oh, Millie…

Thomas Edison’s quote is so true: Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent spray bleach.

August 26, 2014
Adi�s Diablo

I had a pretty big realization when I was 23. This revelation came as I was drifting off to sleep and caused me to sit straight up in bed.

CRUELLA DE VIL = CRUEL DEVIL!!!How could I have been so blind for so long?!

No matter. Here’s a card.

August 23, 2014
Oh, that old saying!

You know what I’m talking about??

Read the card out loud for full effect.

August 14, 2014