• Swine Flu and the Fish Pond

    We had a special guest for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! : The Swine Flu aka:H1N1 That’s just what we needed to shake things up around here! Oh, and nothing brings a family together like contagious disease. I mean it. I barely notice my kids unless their eyes get glassy and they vomit on my bedroom floor. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, a nosebleed will get my attention -and so will a 2 am phone call from the Edina Police. Oh, kids!quarantine-sign-450x293

    I heard that “scientists” are working on some sort of “immunization” for this particular version of the flu. They can just inject themselves with their magic potion. I’m not standing in line at the Walgreens with a bunch of clammy people. Anyway, I discovered the cure: 100 episodes of Malcom in the Middle and lots of popsicles. When The Plague finally, and politely, exited our home – I felt that I needed another challenge:

    The Fish Pond at St. Helena’s:

    dylan-at-the-fish-pond

    Of course! Everyone knows what a daredevil I am – I just couldn’t say no to Jen’s (repeated) requests to “volunteer.”  I don’t regret a moment. In fact, I’m pretty sure that my time in Purgatory is reduced by exactly the same amount of hours that I spent in that claustrophobic booth. That’s five hours, God. Should I go on and on about the ROOM & BOARD project I’m working on? 21 down, only 279 to go! I love you, grayish-brownish-not-quite-taupe-ish-sort-of-smog-ish ink.

    September 23, 2009
  • Would You Rather…?

    Vomit blood for a week or have a nail gun misfire so that the nail pierces your eyeball?*

    WHICH ONE DO YOU CHOOSE?!

    Maybe I’d choose the vomiting… I hear the ICU is like staying in a fancy hotel. You see? Life is about choices. Or wait… is it about rolling with the punches? Having your eye sewn shut is worse than getting punched – Maybe life is about getting your nail-pierced-eyeball sewn shut.

    Yes. That sounds about right.

    °°°°°°

    * These events are true and happened to two men that I know. Both named Ben.

    September 7, 2009
  • Psycho Suzie’s and the Fu Manchu

    I can’t wait to turn 40.

    Jen did it and she got a Fu Manchu AND pickles. It was a very special evening – one she will never remember.jen-and-the-fu-manchu

    See how the Fu Manchu put her under his spell? Isn’t he cunning? Poor Jen, she never had a chance.

    September 3, 2009
  • Best In Show

    I was always jealous of those farm kids at the State Fair. Barefoot and confident, covered in dust — their coveralls did indeed coverall, catching every drip of ice cream, every drop of grease. I imagined that they slept right on the hay bales that penned off their milking goats – what a life!

    Their blue-ribbon proudly pinned for all the Fair-Goers to see. And The City Kids lined up to milk their goats! Why can’t I have a goat? Why can’t I run around the fair barefoot — ringworm be damned! 

    I guess that DIY story is coming together — one of the writers called me on my telephone… I kept telling her everything was “off the record” – she seemed confused. I can’t just open myself up to the public.  They did ask me to create Headlines for the other “Best In Show” categories. I wanted to do them in macaroni but they reminded me that I own a design and letterpress studio – not a design and macaroni studio. Now I feel like a missed the boat on that concept.

    mp_main_wide_jesus-seed-art-254x300

    Here are some of the headlines they asked for:web-printed-pressed-450x213web-cast-and-carved

    Oh, they also wanted some blue ribbons:web-first-place-three-ribbo

    August 15, 2009
  • Sankyou Panko Japanese Style Breading (box)

    “How can we be expected to teach children to read when they can’t even fit inside the building?”-Derek Zoolander

    It turns out that Panko Japanese Style Breading boxes are the perfect size for my Press (kit) Boxes! It’s true. Now my family will enjoy breaded EVERYTHING for the next two weeks.

    Breaded meat, breaded not-meat, breaded bread… YUMMY.    press-box-closedpress-box-open

    The boxes have been turned inside-out, printed on, and stuffed with a variety of cards. I might sprinkle extra breading in for packing… We’ll see. I’d say that I’m sending them to my favorite magazines but that’s not entirely true.

    Bass Master, Muslim Girl, and Quick Quilts didn’t make the cut.

    Who did?

    Oprah and Martha. And others. I think Oprah and Martha should combine forces, the masses would kneel before them.

    August 12, 2009
  • Chanukah and the Beach

    Back on the Cape (Cod) again. I spent a restless night out in the barn. Maybe it was the vinyl covered futon OR my teenager’s shenanigans OR the twin mosquitos that took turns attacking me. I just don’t know – I just don’t know why my uncomfortable evening produced this:chanukah1

    (Inside: God bless you.)

    August 6, 2009
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  • Merry Christmas!

    As is custom in our culture, pińatas will be stuffed with liver sausage!pinatas

    December 24, 2013
  • Blog Post Meridiem

    Nighttime is just like daytime but with fewer socks and more Professor Blastoff.

    Who is Professor Blastoff??professor-blastoff-poster

    Professor Blastoff is a podcast/my gateway to dreamland. Not because it’s boring! Shut your pretty mouth. But because these three comedians lull me me to sleep with their soothing silliness. How can silliness be soothing?? Just listen to it and quit judging me.

    Speaking of professors, a(n) (assistant) professor (Alicia Erian) at Northeastern University (Department of English and Tomfoolery) took such a shine to Zeichen Press that she is our new (virtual) intern! Responsibilities include (but aren’t limited to): Telling me how awesome I am.

    She didn’t love this next card but I still love her.marriage-is-2

    December 17, 2013
  • How two women spun straw into gold at the No Coast Craft-o-Rama

    In this story, the ‘straw’ is paper-and-ink and the ‘gold’ is a cash box full of cash.

    If only mortgage companies and grocery stores accepted hugs and back rubs in exchange for their products and services! Alas, they do not, and so we are forced to peddle our wares. no-coast-2013Normally, shops around the WORLD (that’s right) peddle our goods for us, but once a year, we come out of hiding, and on horseback, to peddle our own goods at the beloved No Coast Craft-o-Rama.

    Is it because we love laughter and the spirit of the Holiday Season? Or is it because we love money?

    Oh, the reformed Scrooge inside of me says it’s not about the money. IT’S NOT.money-doesnt-buy-happiness

    December 10, 2013
  • See You There!

    Where?

    AT THE MIDTOWN GLOBAL MARKET FOR THE NO COAST CRAFT-O-RAMA!!

    Directions:

    1) Put on all of your clothes and coats.

    2) Hitch sled-dogs to sled.

    3) MUSH!!

    sled-dogs

    4) Do ALL of your Holiday shopping. And eating.

    Is there a better way to embrace the Holiday season??

    NO.must-enjoy-winter

    December 6, 2013
  • Halls (Of The Midtown Global Market) Will Be Decked With Such Goodness

    There is always SO MUCH TO DO this time of year! Jen has to print and fold about a million cards and I have to sit still so my daughter can do my nails.panda-nails-2Yes, those are adorable pandas. And yes, that is stigmata.

    The No Coast Craft-o-Rama has an amazing line up this year (as usual), there is Miss Amy Jo, Adam Turman, glass|wares, Cosmo’s Collars, Moss Love Terrariums, Oh Dier, Soup Hunter Guitars, and… so… much… MORE!!

    SO, bring your money and your eyeballs and get ready to check everyone off your Christmas list! AND send a belated Chanukah card (is that a thing??)funky-beat-30-f8

    December 3, 2013
  • Eight Days of Thanksgiving

    Postable asked me to create a card that celebrates a very rare occurrence: Thanksgiving and Hanukkah falling on the same day. I don’t know much about the Jewish Faith but I think that means eight days of leftovers.happy-thanksgivukkahThis mash-up won’t happen again for another 77,000 years.

    It’s true.

    In other news… Jen and I will celebrate Thanksgiving the way we always do: in period costume. Twist: Jen will be dunked in the dunking chair until she confesses to being a witch.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

    November 27, 2013
  • A Winter Cocoon

    Now that the temperature has dropped to depressing lows, I’ve turned to TLC reruns for comfort. …My Strange Addiction is the best thing on television… Why wouldn’t I gorge myself on other people’s dysfunction?

    But enough about women addicted to drinking their own urine. Here’s a card about perspective.feeling-bad

    November 26, 2013
  • How To Be A Supercentenarian

    It’s easy!Misao Okawa

    Old folks like Misao Okawa credit their longevity to poached eggs and whiskey.

    Oh, I can do that.

    November 18, 2013
  • Norway? YESway!

    We’ve had some big orders come in from a shop in Oslo… I’ve been trying to figure out how they heard of Zeichen Press…

    Here’s how: If you take a running start, and are a good swimmer, you can get to Oslo from Denmark, and Denmark is just Germany’s top hat… And Germany, as you know, is the birthplace of Gutenberg.44858_print_pressAnd of letterpress… Right? LETTER press?? ZEICHEN Press?? Clearly Zeichen Press is synonymous with letterpress in that part of the world. All they had to do was google letterpress to find this:fran and jen vintage hair updo.words

    There you have it.

    Mystery solved.

    Takk Liebling.

    Oh, clearly they speak English, but I don’t speak Norwegian — and that’s where the interweb comes in handy:liebling page about us nowegianTranslator says:lieblig page about us englishClass dismissed.

    November 15, 2013
  • Alexis and Martha Stewart DO Love Zeichen Press

    I knew it!

    They’ve only been pretending to not see me chase them down the street! Kidders!
    Alexis just ordered all of her Holiday cards from the Zeichen Press shop… which card will she send to Martha??moose-30-f8
    November 9, 2013
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