Zeichen Press – Page 16 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

TOPLESS WOMAN MOLESTED BY LOCAL SEAL

Wellfleet, Massachusetts

A Minneapolis woman dove into the icy Atlantic Monday morning in an attempt to “meet a seal”.
Assuring onlookers that the attempt was an “act of diplomacy” she swam a distance of approximately 50 yards using a stroke known as the�Dog-Paddle. She met the 350 pound Harbor Seal unaware that the top of her two-piece bathing swimsuit had become untied and dropped to her waist. The woman is reported to have said that the seal reacted to the introduction like “some sort of wild animal” … “His flippers were all over me.”

July 22, 2009
Fran gets new glasses!

Observe this medical marvel:

July 13, 2009
David Hasselhoff, Jerry Lewis, Zeichen Press

The closest I’ve been to Australia is the�Victoria’s Filet�at the�Outback Steakhouse�in Blaine, MN (pop: 44,942). I’m not sure who to thank for introducing�Zeichen Press�to our Australian cousins. Maybe�Ampersand Duck�had something to do with it or maybe it was my grassroots advertising campaign. I stuffed (but first I drank) 1000 bottles of wine with�Zeichen Press Cards�and threw them into the Atlantic Ocean.

Maybe one washed up on the shores of Melbourne because this showed up in their newspaper:

Our�CanCards�are their�Object of Desire.�Thank you, Australia.

Someday I will visit you. And your kangaroos. And your boomerangs.

July 10, 2009
Seven Pounds is the name of the movie not the weight of my head

About a jillion years ago, I was contacted by some Hollywood set designer – she wanted to know if I had extra letterpress “JUNK JUNK JUNK” for a new movie starring Rosario Dawson and Will Smith. Wait. What?! Trembling, I clutched my Fresh Prince of Bel Air collection to my chest and replied, “Oh, that’s cool. Yeah, I could Fed Ex some stuff to you guys – I won’t charge extra for the dust.” (Followed by cool and knowing laughter). What a comfortable rapport! I was talking TO Hollywood. Maybe they’d ask me to audition for the movie! The movie… Maybe Rosario Dawson needed an understudy… or a body double?

We could be twins!

I asked the set designer when they’d like to fly me out, explaining that my schedule was flexible enough to�accommodate movie- shoots, sightseeing,�and�pool-parties. She told me she’d have her people call my people.

ANYWAY, it turns out they were able to pull the set together without my JUNK JUNK JUNK�and�Rosario politely declined my offer — we’re still totally friends

…So I finally watched The Movie last night. Ummm, Will Smith can fix my press anytime. Is that my review? Is that all I have to say? … Uhh, Rosario was convincingly ill and I bawled like a baby. There. Happy?? OH, and the garage-studio was super cute and perfect.

PS: Strangely, Rosario’s character ALSO nicknamed her press�The Beast.�What?!�

June 24, 2009
96�

I’m dripping with sweat. I’m marinating in sweat – the shop has got to be 100� . My head feels fuzzy… and my hands (are those�my�hands?) are leaving sweat-finger-prints on all the paper that I’m cutting.

Wait, I smell barbecue chicken! Wait, maybe I’m on fire…. False alarm. It’s really chicken.

So, I’m cutting paper in my bathing suit. I feel like I’m wearing a snowsuit in a sauna.

I love summer. I’m not even kidding.

June 23, 2009
Wanamingo

My kitchen faucet broke (again) and as I crouched on the patio with the garden hose and plastic scrubby, my mind wandered to faraway lands. Specifically, Wanamingo, Minnesota. Oh, Wanamingo! Has anyone written an ode to thee? I was in Wanamingo today and overheard this “conversation” between a mother and child at the 60 Stop Gas Station:

Child: “I �want eggs for breakfast.”

Mother: ” You can’t get everything you want. I wanted flowers for Mother’s Day and I got nuthin’!”

Oh, well. The REAL Wanamingo is full of chickens, barn cats, fictional alpacas and acres of hard-working folks that build chicken coops and excavate pig cemeteries – just for fun. These people walk around with just a hint of a smile, a smile that says, “I chop the logs to heat my house. I know how to grow potatoes. I know the difference between bush beans and pole beans.”

They also spend the Winter trying not to recreate a scene from The Shining.

I’M JUST SAYING.

Okay, so maybe I don’t have what it takes to step off the grid and live like Ma Kettle. Maybe the closest I get to feeling the heartland is living with a broken faucet. Fetching water for cooking makes me feel like a barbarian.

In between all my water fetching I made this :

It’s gonna be BIG people.

BIG.

June 13, 2009

Merry Christmas!

As is custom in our culture,�pi�atas will be stuffed with liver sausage!

December 24, 2013
Blog Post Meridiem

Nighttime is just like daytime but with fewer socks and more Professor Blastoff.

Who is Professor Blastoff??

Professor Blastoff�is a podcast/my gateway to dreamland. Not because it’s boring!�Shut your pretty mouth.�But because these three comedians lull me me to sleep with their soothing silliness.�How can silliness be soothing??�Just listen to it�and quit judging me.

Speaking of professors, a(n) (assistant) professor�(Alicia Erian)�at Northeastern University (Department of English and Tomfoolery) took such a shine to Zeichen Press that she is our new (virtual) intern! Responsibilities include (but aren’t limited to): Telling me how awesome I am.

She didn’t love this next card but�I�still love�her.

December 17, 2013
How two women spun straw into gold at the No Coast Craft-o-Rama

In this story, the ‘straw’ is paper-and-ink and the ‘gold’ is a cash box full of cash.

If only mortgage companies and grocery stores�accepted hugs and back rubs in exchange for their products and services! Alas, they do not, and so we are forced to peddle our wares.�Normally, shops around the WORLD (that’s right) peddle our goods for us, but once a year, we come out of hiding, and on horseback, to peddle our own goods at the beloved�No Coast Craft-o-Rama.

Is it because we love laughter and the spirit of the Holiday Season? Or is it because we love money?

Oh, the reformed Scrooge inside of me says it’s not about the money. IT’S NOT.

December 10, 2013
See You There!

Where?

AT THE MIDTOWN GLOBAL MARKET FOR THE NO COAST CRAFT-O-RAMA!!

Directions:

1) Put on all of your clothes and coats.

2) Hitch sled-dogs to sled.

3)�MUSH!!

4) Do ALL of your Holiday shopping. And eating.

Is there a better way to embrace the Holiday season??

NO.

December 6, 2013
Halls (Of The Midtown Global Market) Will Be Decked With Such Goodness

There is always SO MUCH TO DO this time of year! Jen has to print and fold about a million cards and I have to sit still so my daughter can do my nails.Yes, those are adorable pandas. And yes, that is stigmata.

The No Coast Craft-o-Rama has an amazing line up this year (as usual), there is�Miss Amy Jo,�Adam Turman,�glass|wares,�Cosmo’s Collars,�Moss Love Terrariums,�Oh Dier,�Soup Hunter Guitars, and… so… much…�MORE!!

SO, bring your money and your eyeballs and get ready to check everyone off your Christmas list!�AND send a belated Chanukah card (is that a thing??)

December 3, 2013
Eight Days of Thanksgiving

Postable asked me to create a card�that celebrates a very rare occurrence: Thanksgiving and Hanukkah falling on the�same day.�I don’t know much about the�Jewish Faith but I think that means�eight�days of leftovers.This mash-up won’t happen again for another 77,000 years.

It’s true.

In other news… Jen and I will celebrate Thanksgiving the way we always do: in period costume.�Twist: Jen will be dunked in the dunking chair until she confesses to being a witch.

Happy Thanksgiving!

November 27, 2013
A Winter Cocoon

Now that the temperature has dropped to depressing lows, I’ve turned to TLC reruns for comfort. …My Strange Addiction�is the best thing on television… Why wouldn’t I gorge myself on other people’s dysfunction?

But enough about women addicted to drinking their own urine. Here’s a card about perspective.

November 26, 2013
How To Be A Supercentenarian

It’s easy!

Old folks like Misao Okawa credit their longevity to poached eggs and whiskey.

Oh, I can do that.

November 18, 2013
Norway? YESway!

We’ve had some big orders come in from�a shop in Oslo… I’ve been trying to figure out how they heard of Zeichen Press…

Here’s how:�If you take a running start, and are a good swimmer, you can get to Oslo from Denmark, and Denmark is just Germany’s top hat… And Germany, as you know, is the birthplace of Gutenberg.And�of letterpress… Right? LETTER press??�ZEICHEN�Press?? Clearly Zeichen�Press is synonymous with letterpress in that part of the world. All they had to do was google letterpress to find this:

There you have it.

Mystery solved.

Takk�Liebling.

Oh, clearly they speak English, but I don’t speak Norwegian � and that’s where the interweb comes in handy:Translator says:Class dismissed.

November 15, 2013
Alexis and Martha Stewart DO Love Zeichen Press

I knew it!

They’ve only been pretending to not see me chase them down the street! Kidders!

Alexis just ordered all of her�Holiday cards from the Zeichen Press shop… which card will she send to Martha??

November 9, 2013